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So yesterday I broke no contact again. We texted for a day and sort of argued. I just need to know if I should start the 30 days completely back over if I only texted her a couple times or can I just continue on. I’m on day 8 or 9 now. I regret talking to her because now I feel like only pushed her closer into this guys arms and it’s killing me. Is there still hope for me? we’ve been broken up for about 3 and a half months now but Its complicated because I originally broke up with her and then at the beginning of December when I tried to get her back I broke all the rules about being desperate and needy. I didn’t officially start no contact until late December early January. I wrote a longer post explaining our situation. But all I would like to know is it still possible to win her back if Ive broken no contact 2 or 3 times?
nc is not a definite way to get any person back. it will improve your chances, but is in no way a guarantee. it is still possible to get her back after break no contact 2 or 3 times, but your main goal of nc should be to focus on yourself and improving internally. you must resume nc and start over. if i were you, i would go around 45 days since you have already broken it twice. any time you feel tempted to reach out, remind yourself you will have to start all over and it will prevent you from wanting to! she needs time to think and clear her head and get rid of the negative emotions she has towards you. give her plenty of time and space. she won’t stop thinking about you, but you both need this time.
Thank you for your advice. I was doing really good but I saw something that upset me on her Twitter and tumblr. (I know I shouldn’t be checking it) and she knew I saw it. I’m scared I’m not going to be ready for Valentine’s Day. Like really scared. And is there any advice you have to keep me from checking her stuff?
remove her from all social media so she doesnt randomly pop up. i did this and i still used to look at my ex through my friends. eventually you just get to a point to realize ignorance is bliss. i would see him becoming Facebook friends with girls but honestly that means nothing these days. i just don’t want to know honestly. I’m sure he’s going out with friends and dating etc. and doing what I’m doing and i just have no desire to see it. initially i did, but not anymore. the longer you stick to nc the less you will be tempted because you will begin to focus more on yourself and what you can do to make yourself happy and less on your ex and what you can do to get her back
I am struggling with the same thing man. I am on day 11 of NC and it is killing me. I check her stuff to much aswell, she unfriended me from facebook which actually helped a lot.
My advice is to delete her or at least hide her from your social media sites. It is hard, not going to lie, but you don’t check on her as much and it helps.I am stressing about valentines day too. I am scared. I keep thinking she will be with someone else. She has a few valentines lingerie. I am so paranoid another guy is going to see her in them.
Why do we worry so much?
im not sure how far along either of you are into your breakups, but I’m 3.5 into mine, the first two months i was an absolute wreck, checked him on social media all the time, kept breaking nc, worried about him meeting/dating/hooking up with other girls. but i just got to the point where worrying is exhausting. sure i would love for him to come back and i hope one day he does but i can’t make him come back. he needs to decide on his own! and if it takes dating other girls in the process or going out and drinking with friends, so be it. i realized that worrying got me nowhere. he is going to do what he wants regardless of whether or not i worry so i have really put the focus on myself and my own happiness for the time being. hang in there if you’re still in the early days of a break up, it will get easier!
I broke no contact again badly and I don’t know what to do. My ex and I broke up after 5.5 years of being together because I had way too much to drink one night and ended up cheating on him. We loved each other very much and we both started dating when we were 15 years old. I had never done anything like this before and have always been kind and loyal. I did not ever want to cheat on him or even think about it, but it happened when I was blacked out drunk and I felt so awful it made me sick and I was unsure on whether I should tell him or not, my worst fear in the world is to lose him. A few days later he found out in a really messy situation. His friends all were hating me and were saying really mean hurtful things to me and even went as far to vandalize some of my belongings that I left in his house, and he allowed this to happen. He was heartbroken, felt betrayed and was angry. This happened about a month ago now. For this whole month, he has been contacting me every day saying he loves me and then would go through emotions of anger randomly. About 2 days ago, this situation changed and he stopped texting me. I freaked out and lost all sense of what was right and I went to his house in hopes to talk to him but as I was walking in, I overheard him in the phone with a friend talking about how he had slept with another girl. I know this is wrong and I shouldn’t have gone to his house but I did. I went to talk to him and the conversation was really bad he screamed at me, accused me of stalking him, and said he needed space although he had never communicated to me that he needed space before that day, and had not even told me he actually wanted to be broken up. he had been contacting me saying he misses me every day and said he did not want anyone else and was making it seem as we would be together. So yesterday I was devastated and we didn’t talk at all for the first time since he found out about my cheating, and I thought I couldn’t screw up the situation any further but I did. Last night I found myself driving to his house again although I knew it was wrong. My excuse was that I needed my piano I had left there but it escalated and he screamed at me again and was saying he needed space to figure things out. I am now actually planning on doing no contact because I realized that I had made this situation 10 times worse. I am unsure on what to do right now I feel devastated, lost, empty, and alone and it’s so painful. Did I ruin all chances at getting him back? If I start no contact now can I have any shot? What are the correct steps I can take from this point on to try and win him back sometime in the future?
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