Ex (30F) and I (30M) met on deployment. Had a great relationship in person for about four months but then I left back to the states in May. Long story short, the first month was great and then both of us went through messy divorces and decided to take a break in August. Life stress continued and, admittedly, I became very desperate and needy towards her up to the point she said that we shouldn’t talk for two weeks. This was mid-October. After working on myself, rebuilding my self-confidence and becoming non-dependent on her, I reached out again, saying I thought about our relationship, agreed that the breakup was the right move, apologized for being needy and desperate, let her know I now know the issues in our relationship and I am working on them, I missed sharing things with her and I would love to have her back in my life but if she isn’t ready or comfortable, I understand. She messaged me back around the time she would wake up (she is still overseas until May) the next day and said:
“Hey. I will admit that I’ve missed having you to share things with, but it was a genuine relief not getting questioned every day over the last few weeks. I don’t want to feel like that about you. I don’t want to be relieved when I don’t hear from you. I hope that changes in the future.
Life has been… well, awful. I’m heading home on emergency leave in a few days and work and school are kicking me while I’m down. Keep trying to see a therapist but running into walls everywhere I go. Hope you’ve been doing well and handling things alright.”
I messaged her back asking about what happened with emergency leave and she hasn’t answered but that is not abnormal behavior for her. Is she saying that she still doesn’t want to talk with me or do I need to just take it slow with casual conversation?
Any help would be appreciated. Thanks!