Hi everyone,
I need advise on how to reconcile with my ex-girlfriend who initiate the breakup.
My ex and i had 1 year of relationship together. All was happy and joy, and so i thought. She did complain and nag once in awhile but not often. There one time i felt that i want to talk with something i been bother lately with her behaviour, i want to understand what happened and wishes her to talk to me. So i called her. She said she want to talk with in person but i couldn’t as i was injured badly. She wanted to wait until i fully heal before she want to talk. I got PANIC and kinda push her to talk more. She said that i not that a man with leading in relationship and until i was injured, she realised I’m not capable to taking care of myself. At that time, she said she doesn’t know if she loves me or not. I had a bad feeling and i was devastated. She didn’t said much and i apologise that i shouldn’t have push you just now. That time we still in relationship.
Fast forward 3 weeks later, she called and want to meet me. She said she doesn’t love me anymore. At that point of time, i knew she going to drop the answer. I couldn’t even able to have time and fix my mistakes. I tried to convince her but it was futile. She thought of this 3 weeks straight and come to conclusion that she do not want to continue as she does not have feeling for me anymore. Then i told that i respect her decision and go with it. I was so sad that i couldn’t even react and make changes as i still in rehab from the injury. I also ask if there a third party involved, and she deny it. I trust in her that she didn’t do that.
My relationship with her was great. We rarely argues, have dates night, surprise anniversary, celebrate Christmas together. We were happy. I care for her and her family. I always thought of her family as my own. I put all my heart and effort into her and love for who she is. I give her space with her friends and family and i support her decision and morale.
As i was so sad, crying and trying to figure out what make her unhappy of the relationship. Where did go wrong. So prior the breakup, i went to do researched about the leading. I knew what the problems that was causing it. At the beginning of the relationship, i wasn’t that kind of that until it reached to the point i scared to lose her. I went insecure. I became too nice to her and always meet to her demand without standing up for myself. When i feel that going to conflict, i tried to avoid it without proper communicate with her. In some decision, she thought that i following her decision which lead to her thinking that i do not have my own principle and lead in the relationship. At that time i thought this was suppose to be like a couple common goal. How wrong was that and it turned out differently. Not all decision that she made, most of the time i made where to go and what to do.
So the past weeks (2 weeks prior) breakup, i went online and download material and ebook to read on how to improve my confidence, leading in relationship, communication, listening, self actualisation/awareness and learn more to be independent(just an extra learning). I still have a lot to learn and it wasn’t easy path. I have never read in life until today. I also learn how to untethered in conversation.
After the break-up, I already started NC and i on 11th day of NC. I am planning to NC another 60 more days until i reach out to her. I wasn’t sure what to do next and how to initiate the contact with her. Any advice in advance for me to prepare?
In deep down, i knew in my heart that i will be able to reconciliation with her as she was sure about the decision. But i have to try or i going to regret. I do not want to regret as i did not noticed the mistake i was made.
Thanks in advance