How to crack through to my ex? Hot and cold behavior, etc

[madie]

Hi, I’m in the phase where my ex shows the following:
1. Tells me that he misses ‘us’, how he was with me as someone who is natural and easy-going
2. He worries about me (I checked in a hospital without telling him) he freaked out and even asked my mom about it when I didn’t reply to his text
3. He feels bad for letting me go and getting into another relationship so fast
4. He compares and feels bad that he does, and says that I was the best he ever had
5. He feels like he’s a mess. For being torn between what he has and what he wants. He wants a ‘reset’ button so that everything will fall into place so fast.

Right now, he said he needs time to reflect and think things through. He is still in his rebound relationship, but asked for time to himself from this girl. We’ve been texting, it was him who usually texts first and I just reply. We’ve talked about the good and the bad in our past relationship, and other stuff like work and other interests.

I wanted to ask, what should I do? He said he needed time to reflect, but he didn’t really say that he didn’t want me to talk to him. But should I leave him alone? Or is this the golden moment that I can change his mind from being with his rebound, since they’re not talking or seeing each other?

Any thoughts would help. Thanks!

[heartbreakkid15]

Hi, sorry to hear about this!

Well I’m getting mixed feelings on my options of advice for this. My gut is telling me (no offense at all!) That he’s trying to keep you close, in case his new relationship doesn’t work sorta like a fall back plan. I think ur allowing this to happen because the break up is fresh and your emotions are all over the place. If I were you? I’d tell him simply that you and him aren’t wanting the same thing at the moment and if he needs his space to think things through then you’ll give it to him. As hard as this next part is, trust me I’m currently no contact with my ex girlfriend and it’s been 3 weeks, but ur going to have to actually give him space and urself space. Do you really want to be in touch with someone you have strong feelings for while he’s in a relationship? even if it maybe a rebound it’s still not healthy for you! In order to come back into a relationship and it actually work, you have to spend time away to grow! Then when both of use are ready and have spent time away from eachother and really want to fix ur relationship you can give it a real try

[madie]

Thank you @heartbreakkid15 for your advice. I also forgot to mention that I did NC for a month and it’s been 3 months since I’ve started connecting with him again. So that’s 4 months already. But since yes, the break up is still fresh (in my case) and he is still in a relationship, I guess I must not rush and give him space, even when he doesn’t ask for it.

[mosis]

@madie all you are doing by keeping close to him is making him emotionally stable, and the more you talk to him the less he will think about you. Sounds weird but its true, not that he doesn’t care about you but his mind will be playing tricks, having his cake and eating it too is whats going on right now. The less available you are the more he will be come radical in making steps to getting away from the other girl and his mind and emotions will want you more and more. Wont happen if you are giving him what he is missing though while he is currently getting what he wants, which is the rebound

[Author]

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