What to do, NC over.

[Azula]

here’s my story: https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/comment-page-8/#comment-28854

I have ended NC yesterday by texting him I need to go back to our house since I need to report to our main office which is located just few blocks away. He is staying in our house according to his sister. He didn’t respond so I thought he didn’t receive my message or his phone has no signal. When I called his phone, it rings, then I hung up immediately.

I’m not sure why he is not responding, at least to say yes, you can come. I don’t know if he is ready to see me. As for me, I am. I’m feeling way better than before and also willing to tell him that I approve him seeing someone else.

I’m intending to give him my letter by then. I will tell him that we need to end and close everything between us, including some of our shared assets and accounts.

I need to stay for about three days there since I can’t afford to stay in a hotel. I don’t know the best approach and also what to do if he didn’t want me to stay in our house.

Please help.

[Kevin]

Well, in that case, you should not go there until you receive a reply from him. You can call him up again or text again. If you don’t receive a reply, you can probably tell his sister to contact him and ask if it’s OK with him.

And if you stay with him, you’ll have to keep your distance and not get physical with him. Not unless he wants to commit.

[Azula]

Thank you Kevin.

Her sister told me it is okay for me to come but he is not ready yet to talk to me because he is still emotional.

I certainly understand my limitations especially about getting physically intimate. I really hope a can keep a steady mind now that I’m feeling nervous and having some anticipations about us meeting again for the first time after over a month.

Wish me well!

[Azula]

And so my supposed to be 3-day stay in our house becomes an episode of a heavy drama.

I gave him my letter and it turned out well. He started opening up to me how he sometimes becomes tired of his new GF being so bossy and that she always starts a fight even if he is tired from work. He also started to talk about our common interests and asked about our closest friends.

His current girlfriend saw me leaving our house for work and that made her think that we’re back together so she threatened to leave my ex if I will not leave immediately. My ex then asked me if I could talk to her new GF and explain why I’m there and as his “friend” now, I did by sending her a text, telling her it’s just for work and we need to settle our shared properties and accounts. Then his GF bombarded me with text messages like “move on girl” “he doesn’t like you anymore,” etc. and she even forwarded the sweet messages my ex sent her. And to my surprise, those are the exact words he used to tell me. I got so pissed off. I immediately packed all my stuff, including all his stuff that I gave him, that include some materials he needs for his work, his cellphone and his laptop.

That night, knowing that I’m there, his family came over without telling us to have dinner with us, and they were all surprised seeing me packing all my things. I live in a patriarchal country, where a father’s word is a law in a family. His dad asked me to stay because he said, when my ex brought me in that house, I became his responsibility and he should not turn his back on me simply because he doesn’t like it anymore.

My ex then retaliated and told his dad that he is willing not to become part of that family anymore, if they will insist that we should still stay together as a couple. They almost got into a fistfight. His dad also called his current GF so we could all talk about the situation and about the insulting text messages she sent me but she didn’t showed up.

His parents are still in our house, trying to work things out for us even if I explained to them that I’m letting go of him. Since his current GF is also his ex before, they said that they know how bad that girl is for him. That insted of making him a better person he becomes worse.

I felt trapped so I called my younger sister. I cried so much on the phone and that made her worry so much. She then asked my older brother to come and pick me up. My brother will be here tomorrow and I don’t know what will happen.

Every night, I talk to my ex and tell him that I want to be free and that I’m moving on. I also apologized to him last night about me getting his things and I gave them back to him. We understand each other. My only worry is that his family will really throw him out if he stayed with his current GF and I don’t want that to happen.

I’m in a whirlwind right now. I just want to share these things and hear some words from you.

I feel like, I have to start NC again. 🙁

[Author]

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