My bf has left me again. this is the 2nd major breakup with alot of other breakups in between but he will normally be back after a few days. mainly cos we were fighting alot and never really addressed the issue. the first round I made the mistake of trying to talk to him which resulted in him being very nasty , but when he thought I had moved on after I stopped contacting him for a wk and went overseas , he wanted me back . This time he asked for a breakup again, and I agreed, and 2 days later he told he missed me and he regretted being nasty with me and he had the best time of his life with me etc but as I was still upset, I said somethings that made him upset and he said we will talk again . when I tried contacting him again 6 days later, he was determined to end the rship and told me not to get back into the cycle again and we are toxic to each other and we shd let go of each other. it’s been 3 wks of no contact and he hasn’t reached out to me . When we got back together the first time I made the mistake of not working out on the issues as I just badly wanted him bad. But I did change and promised on the things I promised I will change. This round i darent contact him due to my previous experience with the crossfire. will I still get him bk ?
I think you will if you make the right moves. For now keep no contact.
How old are both of you? How long was the relationship in total? You say you changed, but did he? Both of you have to be willing to change the way you interact with each other. Both of you have to be willing to calmly discuss any issue you have with each other.
At this time he’s not willing to try to work things out. He even said the relationship was toxic, wants to let go, and thinks you should too.
Multiple breakups is a bad sign! Continue no contact and don’t even respond to him unless he contacts you first with an agreement to calmly discuss the problems and wants to try and resolve them.
What would be the right moves ?
I accidentally pocket dialled him yesterday. So I asked him if I could have one of my items back . and he said ok and we agreed to meet tomorrow . After I asked him how he was , he was very harsh saying like he dont wish to talk and he hates me and he wasted all his time with me . And he says I dont give him what he wants and says I am self entitled. and ask me to find another man to give me what I want. then today he drops me a sorry for being harsh . i replied a appreciate. and he didnt reply anymore . I’m lost at what to do .
F**k him! It sounds like he is a waste of space.
What is the matter with you? Do you enjoy being mistreated?
Stop chasing this guy and find some self respect!
I know I should move on . in fact its like a cycle that is repeating itself from the first breakup . his moods are erratic and I cant deal with it . But I am also upset because of the time and memories we had . I felt like even though it’s a breakup I cant understand why he is so nasty to me especially when he is the one who is not willing to work things out.
Thanks gamecoder.nz. I guess he is mentally unstable.
Get your stuff back and walk away. He says very cruel things and you’ve been putting up with it. The time you spent in a relationship with him and past good memories don’t matter. He made it very clear that he’s not interested in continuing with you! If you stick around any longer, he will continue to humiliate you and you’ll be miserable in the long run. It’s time to move on…
Thanks for your encouragement patricia12. I met him today but he only brought 1 of my things. (I have alot of stuff over at his place) and just walked off. I tried to ask him for my other stuff and he just got angrier and said alot of stuff like he feels he is not good enough for me (confusing eh) …Thereafter he drops me a text saying he is sorry to hurt me and asks me to move on and find another man. I am totally confused by his actions .
This seems really toxic. Sometimes Ex’s are worth fighting for but your ex seems to be manipulating you. He is cold in person and quite frankly an asshole, but then apologises to keep you guessing in case he wants to come back.
He may be doing this because he’s afraid of loosing you but then again it was his choice to leave.
I think you should stop playing his games, get your stuff and don’t contact him again. I know its hard trust me, I struggled to stop contacting my ex of 5+ years, but it definitely gets a lot easier with time.
You WILL find someone way better than him who will treat you properly.
You CAN do this, be strong, you don’t need someone like that in your life. You deserve better than that.
Keep us posted 
I agree with DK101, the relationship was very toxic. It’s time to move on so you can feel better about yourself and gain some self-respect instead of obsessing about him! The guy isn’t afraid of losing you, he’s probably interested in dating others and keeping you as a backup option. As DK101 said, you deserve better…
What makes me very confused was just a week before the big breakup , I wanted to leave the rship as he was very nasty to me , throwing my things in public and shouting at me . And he begged me back for a 2nd chance and promising to change. And suddenly a week later he turns stone cold . am I dealing with a psychopath ?
YES!!!
So today I sent him a msg to send the rest of my items to me and i dont wish to see him again . Than he starts to say he is very heartbroken and dont wish to be angry anymore, and sad to lose my dog and that he wanted to leave me because he felt that I wasnt happy with him and I am happier now . Could it be he genuinely feels this way . or it’s his way of manipulation?
Manipulation. As soon as he started to see you slip away he changed his attitude. I guarantee he will go back to what he was when you say that you will stay.