is this a rebound relationship?., and do i have a chance to get her back?

[stevekevin]

hey everyone,

., what if my ex girlfriend(she’s 22 and i’m 20) is starting dating with this guy together with her friends.,and that guy is his classmate, everyday they see each other., and also his friends support that guy., we just broke up on June 22, 2014., what should i do to get her back?., i should just act like cool,.? but every time when we communicate, we say i love you to each other., i know and i can feel she has still have feelings for me,.and last on this July 21, 2014 we seen each other.,just the two of us, after we say goodbye to each other.,we still hug and kiss., but right now we are friends, because after we broke up.,he ask me if we can still be friends,.and i say yes., did i do the right thing?., i already did no contact with her about two weeks,. we just started communicate this week.,and the result is good as we communicate,.because i feel she is still concern with me.

lately i’ve seen some of her picture in facebook,.that they are together flirting with each other and together with his friends.,

right now, in my situation.,sometimes i’m still confuse.,

oh.,i almost forgot., we have been together with my ex for about 35 months or almost 3 years. after we broke up.,

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[Kevin]

You should do NC for at least one month. It’s probably a rebound.

[stevekevin]

Thanks kevin.. actually..the reason of our break up..is that she didnt saw anymore the spark of our relationship,she’s tired of understanding my situation and she finds her happiness to his friends including tht guy she dating right now..(tht was his friend before)..even though she gave me chances but I blew it all..so she decided to break up with me..I know I was so blind to realize it all.. I made mistakes also during our relationshp because when in times she need me i’m not always there for her especially in her contest or some school activities she had in school to support her(were both different school) because I was too much focus on my studies for im a graduating student and there some instances tht i cant go with her bcoz we have seminar or meetings..but everytime we see each other I make up with her.. and I think mybe im down with her friends in her school…as her bf..because lately I was been irresponsible for her…but right now..I learn my mistakes what I had done before and willing to change for the better…

[Kevin]

Hey,

You should still do NC. And you should try to make positive changes in your life. Not for her. Bu for yourself.

[stevekevin]

Help! I broke the no contact rule because she called me this july 28..so I answer her call..we made some conversation and laughter…until she openly topic me that she was experiencing financial problems right now..as it affects her studies because she dont have money to buy some materials for her own project.. so I decided to help her and lend some money as I still concern for her…after that day, we meet ..so I acompany her to buy materials for her project and help her out.. as we finished her project..she really thank me and I was her life saver for I’m alwys still there for her after break up..and help her at all times..then after, I gave her some apologize letter for what I did after our break up.. so she honestly told me that right now she can only give to me is friendship bcoz for her she can afford to lose a boyfriend but not friendship..and right now..she dont want to commit again.she want to enjoy her life as single.. then she openly topic to me about that guy his friend dating..she said to me that they are in a mutual understanding..she’s happy with him and she said there’s love she feels..and i’ve seen their pic2re in facbook having intimacy..but she did not want right now to commit.. I did not comment but I change the topic.. bcoz I dnt want to hurt her if I burst out my feelings about that…then I only said to her..that im always here for her to help her,to comfort her and make her happy and i will prove to myself tht I can change for the better so that I can fill those things and wont do my mistakes repeated again esp. During our relationshp.. then we still hug and kiss each other as we gudbye..

My question is.. did I do the right thing and say to her?
And should do all over again the NC for atleast one month? Im having time consuming..because this coming october.. I will go abroad and we will be in a long distance..

[stevekevin]

Do u think I can still have the chance for her to get her back and start all over again? If I do the right thing? Because I dnt want to stuck in a friend zone forever..

[a.z]

hey,
i don’t think if you should restart NC.
you should act like friends.talk to her like you do to your friends,meet her and again act like friends.you don’t have to say anything about getting back together and you don’t have to show her any signs that you still want her back.
make positive changes in your life,be cool and confident and avoid any negative memories.she should feel the change.remind her of the good memories you had,try to have a good time and always be positive.
meet her again after sometime and let her think that she might be losing you forever cuz you are not attracted to her like you were before and maybe you are attracted in someone else and your presence might be over forever.
after you created the scarcity meet her again and get a little more physical,have a really good time like a really perfect date and it should end up in a place that you two can be intimate.have a heart to heart talk and see her reaction if she responds well,get more physical and there will be really good chance that she wants you back.
if she tries to ignore you,then tell her how you feel and if she still thinks its not gonna work,then you need some more space in your life.
I hope it’ll help a little.
Good Luck

[stevekevin]

thanks a.z. it will be great help for me., but it is okay to communicate with her everyday?., or the day after the day then communicate again?.,

[a.z]

I think as long as you don’t look needy its ok. but let her chase you sometimes and don’t be too available all the times.

[stevekevin]

thanks again a.z. one more question., what if she open topic again to me about that guy his dating?., do i should just listen or no comment and change the topic?., and also i would like to ask.,because there are some little confusion in my mind.,what she said to me earlier that she wants to enjoy her life being single., but how can she be enjoy being a single life., if she had some intimacy with that guy she’s dating.,( actually,this guy have some advantage because they are classmates and they see each everyday in school and there house are near so the guy always pick her up to go to school and bring her home after school) do i need to confront her with that and clarify things?., or i should keep it and just focus on my positive changes in my life and act as friend for her?

[a.z]

Don’t overanalyze her words.just be cool and act like friends.i don’t think if she’ll ask your idea about that guy.but even if she does,just be cool.never say anything bad about him and be positive.

You should definitely focuz on your positive changes and act like friends.
Don’t rush things and also don’t continue the falsefriendship for a long time.
You should do your best during 3 months.and its ok to meet her once a month.

[Author]

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