@ty10 I hope so!
@oshi think of what u said, if it’s out of character then your probebly thinking too much into it. We all do it! Listen to @ty10 he’s right
@jburg32 you have a point sometimes it’s make or break and your right. The fear of rejection is there!
Hi guys I’m really nervous about txt tomorrow, I know it’s daft as I want to know if she’s for real. How would be the best way to go about it?
Have you already asked her or mentioned it?
No I’m waiting till tommorow, she’s away at a festival at the moment.
When is she back?
Text her tomorrow asking how the festival/her weekend was. If she responds positively then have a conversation, drop in a question like ‘What are your plans for the week’ if she asks you the same mention the blues thing and ask if she wants to come.
Just read the situation, how responsive she is being and be cool! Good luck
Because I would wait until she is home and not so exhausted from the festival.
Tommorow at some point. I’m a bit worried, I know I shouldn’t be because like u said its make or break time, I need to ask for my own sanity. I’m thinking the worse but if she says no that’s it I’m going back to no contact till she reaches out to me!
It’s the risk any of us take when we ask someone out, being an ex it’s just a bit different. If she says a firm no then definitely return to NC until she reaches out but for something that is significant.
But be positive, everything I’ve read says you’ve got a great chance. Just take it slow and be cool! Hopefully this time tomorrow you’ll have an answer.
Well today’s the day, I’ll txt her later and see how I get on. But there’s something telling me I won’t get the answer I’m expecting. Not feeling good about it all
@Gingerone … I personally think you’re going around this totally the wrong way, but I wish you luck nonetheless.
@soildturd why how would you go about it!
@solidturd even
@Gingerone Jburg32 is right. We can’t wait for them forever. How long can we keep trying like this? You have to listen to your gut. Sometimes we just want an answer, even if it wouldn’t be what we want to hear. Just be cool about it and see how she responds. I wish you the best of luck!
Thank you guys! I appreciate your advises!
Sometimes we all tend to give advice but won’t follow it ourselves.
I guess I was right all along. I had this feeling inside that nothing might come out of it, that he just wants to be friends.
Yesterday he called me to arrange our meeting. We talked for a few minutes and then I realized that he’s not doing it because he wants me back as I thought.
The moment in our conversation when I realized it went something like this:
Him: Can I ask you something? (after asking me about tomorrow)
Me: Yes.
Him: My friend from work wanted to meet up tomorrow, but I told him that I’m meeting up with you. He said it’s weird that we are still hanging out as friends, Because we may get hurt. So I wanted to know what you think about it?
Me: What do YOU think about it?
Him: I don’t mind, that’s why I’m asking you.
Me: I wouldn’t mind about what my friends think of this. I think the fact that you are bringing this up is because it is bothering YOU.
Him: I haven’t thought about it until he said it. I do want to remain friends.
Me: We don’t HAVE to remain friends if you don’t want to.
Him: (I don’t remember exactly what he said but he kept talking about it and that we might get hurt)
Then I realized that I don’t want it to keep going so I said:" I don’t want to remain friends with you, your friend is right. There is no point in doing it. I thought about it and decided that we shouldn’t stay friends."
Him: Okay.
I can’t believe he said these things. If he was planning something again then he wouldn’t have bought it up this way. All the things he’s done lately meant noting. He might still care for me inside, but I guess he’s still not sure about what he wants. I decided to end this friendship with him because I’ve realized it’s going no where. It’s been 4 months and I just keep hoping every-time that something might change, but in reality it won’t.
Lol sorry for this long post! >_<
@Gingerone … well like I’ve said in many posts on this board, I would sit back and not contact the ex at all.
If she contacted me I’d assume she wants to meet up.
@SolidTurd Your way of thinking is right, but if the ex is contacting you it doesn’t always mean that they want you back.
I still think the plan of asking how her weekend is and meeting up during the week in @Gingerone case is right for him. It wasn’t a typical break-up and there is clearly feelings still there. Women often find it hard to make the first move but they’re on good terms and talking. No harm, no foul.
@Oshi that sounds rough, but if he doesn’t want anything more than freindship and you’re still hung up on him then it’s probably for the best. I think you should’ve said something along the lines of ‘I’d like to be friends one day in the future but I can’t be friends with someone that I still have feelings for right now’. That way would also kill hope of a relationship for you but will give him the time to realise if he actually wants you in his life.
I’ve actually made a big decision today. It’s nearly 10 weeks since we broke up and 50 days of NC - I’ve heard nothing from my ex. I weighed up trying to contact her but decided against it because our break up wasn’t as amicable as it could’ve been. Today I deleted her number and blocked her off social media, more to protect myself if anything. I’ve been checking in on her far too often and it’s not just healthy, it’s leading me to false conclusions too (partly due to finding she was on Tinder too).
I’m not sure if it was the right thing to do but it’s done now and I really need to start moving on with my life. If she wanted me in her life she’d contact me and I’ve heard nothing!
I agree my ex clearly still had feelings, came to hospital etc. yet she freaked out and went cold. She has to want it now and the only chance to do that is to be rational and treat everything as a test use us to be the ones you freak out at. Like last week.
But I stand by what I said we can’t put up with this crap forever
@oshi, I’m sorry to hear but you must put yourself first. Once your happy nothing else matters. If you feel things arnt right go back to no contact. Get your exams out of the way and try to enjoy yourself. From what you’ve told me on here, maybe it’s for the best. Sorry for sounding harsh. You seem like a great girl and if he can’t see that his loss.