Well to my suprise she replied. She asked where I’d seen her and I said outside such and such pub (we used to go there a lot together) I also said she looked good. To which she replied thanks ?
Well to my suprise she replied. She asked where I’d seen her and I said outside such and such pub (we used to go there a lot together) I also said she looked good. To which she replied ‘thanks ? Ye it felt weird actually kept thinking of u x’
So Ye how knows I feel a bit better about it all now if I’m honest
All wasn’t lost then, she may have gone out for a drink with that guy but she’s still responding and got you on the brain!.Wait until after the weekend to contact her again. Ask about the weekend and drop in the blues thing, if you get a positive response then ask her to join you.
Out of interest, after doing NC was it her that contacted you or vice versa?
I was strange after no contact because we still had bills etc to sort out from our old place. But it was her that got in contact first saying she had recived the final bills.
I just recived a picture txt msg off her A while back with the words remember these? Referring to some food we ate ate at this festival she’s at today. We went together last year and had an amazing time. So I’m thinking by her sending this she’s obiasly thinking of me.
She’s been telling me a lot recently that she’s been thinking about me in way way or another!
Look I am going to have people disagree with me here and say it’s bad advice.
But this is after an intense weekend of therapy.
Sit down take your ex out of you mind completely. Then write down exactly what you need from a relationship. Really listen to yourself and write down what you like what you need. Then relax the word her or partner. Example I wish my partner would make me happy. Replace her with your name.
You then come up with what you need not looking for.
Then if your ex can accept you for your messy self, go get it. Your doing your brain on with these games. Cut the shit now, I get nc and the process. However she is leading you on, just think if you was single and girl was doing what she was doing. You would play it cool and ask them out.
Sorry guys but I have to be honest and say what I have learnt this weekend.
I fear that your seeking her because your not really happy with your self and you feel like you need her, not want.
@Gingerone lines of communication are open, that is great news for you! I’d stick with your plan of action before you sent that text today… ask her how her weekend was on Monday and slip in about doing the thing you mentioned this week. If she gives a positive response then I’d suggest that things will turn out well if you play your cards right.
However, I’d remember this would be a new relationship so you can’t go 0-60 just like that. Take things slow, don’t come over needy/obsessive and judging from what’s been put on here there’s a good chance for reconciliation.
@Gingerone It sounds positive! I agree with ty10. You should take things slow for now. Wait a few days and then mention this blues night and according to her response decide what to do. If she said again that she’s thinking about you then it’s a really good thing! But why did she say that it felt weird? Did she mean it’s weird that you saw her or weird that she keeps thinking about you while going out with other people? Anyway you should stay positive because she’s definitely thinking about you! 
Ye I hope so, and the thought of Her txting me pictures from the festival today must be good I hope.
@oshi I think she ment felt weird being in a bar we went often together and even took her mum for drinks when she came down to vist.
I’m hoping its positive, I’m playing it slow and cool.
Thanks for all your input guys.
Hi guys thanks for all your help and advice over the last few days helped me a lot.
I’m trying to stay positive on my situation.
My only question is ‘why do you think she keeps telling me she’s thinking of me’ I know it’s a stupid question to ask but do u think she wants me to ask her out and by continuing to say this I might or might it be something less.
@oshi how are your exams going? All going well I hope
@ty10 thank you for your advice it’s been good.
@jburg32 everyone’s situation is diffrent. That’s what makes it difficult.
I know but come on take control of your life.
Today my ex reached out after I did no contact, you know what I took control. She said she has some bits of mine to return do I want her to leave them with her tower reception.
So I said hey I am good blah blah, why don’t we just grab a coffee and I can pick the stuff up then. After a bit of back and forth because she is “busy” this week. I just said cool let me know what suits you.
All the while, knowing whatever her answer is, that it doesn’t matter. If she says no I tried.
So cut the shit mate ask her, she is giving signals a hell of a lot more positive than others on here.
Just ask her outright, I am in town this week. Why don’t we catch up over coffee about the weekend or something.
It not healthy dragging stuff out trust me, last week was the darkest place I have been for a while.
However it’s times like this where you rise up be a man, cut the crap and think I need to know. If it’s a no move on, be happy with you. If it’s a yes take it from there.
There we will be people who disagree, but I see it in here me included. We give in to this game, if it’s been going on over two months forget them. Take control of your life not the situation.
@Gingerone I personally think there are a few ways of looking at this. Personally, I do think there’s a good chance of reconciliation if you take it slow and the signs you are getting are genuine.
It’s several months down the line since the BU and the bad feelings which we all have after break ups have subsided, yet she still has you on her mind. She’s initiating contact with you and keeping it going too - just look at the texts you received yesterday. It’s hard to gauge how she really feels until you meet in person, body language is often a huge giveaway.
However, you shouldn’t get too far ahead of yourself because all ex’s miss each other if the relationship didn’t end badly. My ex from uni who broke it off with me due to distance (she was at the other end of the country and it would’ve never worked) messaged me a few months after our break up with ‘this reminded me of you, miss you’ and tried a couple of more times. I wasn’t too fussed about her as I was into someone new and realised pretty early on that she must be a bit lonely and may have being looking to have her ego stroked.
I’ve read somewhere that ex’s who text you saying they miss you is often a way of lazy communication and actually having said ego stroked. In a sense they want to know if you’re still on the hook in case nothing better comes along. An ex who really wants you back will be decisive, make the first move and make progress to right the issues of the past relationship so you can move forward. The only issue with that thinking is that it often relates to men who are the dumpers and not women. Men are always expected to make the first move whereas women often stick with their decisions and even if they show their ex that they miss them, they expect the man to make the first move due to social convention/tradition. It really is a tough one to call when it comes to female dumpers.
My advice would be to stick with the plan you mentioned the other day. Message her about her weekend tomorrow, see how she responds and if the conversation flows. If it does drop in the blues thing and see if she wants to come. Takes things slow, be objective and the only way you will be able to see how she really feels is through her body language.
@ty10 last time we met up I could tell the chemistry was still there, she couldn’t stop smiling and we laughed and joked about like old time.
And after all these txt’s recently I’m kinda hoping that she agrees to come to this blues event.
All I can do is ask her and find out.
Like I said I honestly believe you have a really good chance from her actions. If there is still chemistry between the two of you that proves it.
I’m guessing your break up was a relatively amicable and mature one?
Our break up was the strangest one ive ever had. We broke up once where she moved out, and within hrs she was back crying saying she wanted to make a go of it.
We stayed together and things were getting better till I got a new job and was away for a while. I was under some stress and to be fair I was hard to be around even though she tried her best (after time apart I can now see this)
We broke up but still were living together for a few weeks were things were not very diffrent only thing I slept on the couch untill she asked me back into the bed. She continued to spoon me. It was like we never broke up. Then she moved out and I did no contact till she contacted me over bills. I kept no contact going then sent my letter. To which I had no reply. We met up to sort bills and she was amazed at how I was looking (lost 3 stone) been working out and eating healthy. We would txt every now and again. Then contact was more frequent. Then we met up again. Both times we’ve met up she has this smile on her face, we chat and laugh like old times. Then she started txting me that she was thinking of me dreaming of me etc and now where at this point here now. So there it is in short @ty10 confusing from the start lol
@Gingerone I genuinely think there is a chance here. However you wouldn’t know her true feelings until you see her in person again. Stick to your plan! I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!
I really need a guy’s opinion on this. Maybe I’m overthinking but I’m just so confused and I don’t know what I should do anymore.
I’m not on facebook often, but yesterday I logged on and saw some new posts from my ex. Two days ago my ex posted on facebook something like “What a great weekend!”. And later his friend posted a picture of all of them having fun in a bar. And on the same time my ex and his friend added a girl on facebook, and today my ex “liked” her profile picture.
Now I know it sounds stupid but I know him and he’s not the type of guy that would hit on someone in a bar. Ever since I knew him he was always shy and closed. He even told me once that he thinks it’s stupid too. And this girl he added is really not his type at all! I know I might be over thinking but it just hurts seeing him acting like this and the next day calling me and sending me videos of cute kittens and asking me to meet up and getting my hopes up when he actually doesn’t even interested in me. Tomorrow is our meeting and I don’t know if I should or even want to see him anymore. He’s been hurting me so much these last few months and I’m really trying to move on with my life but it’s hard when he’s keeping me in the middle like this.
I would appreciate if you can give me your opinion on this.
Oshi take a step back and look at this rationally.
He has gone out with friends, which is fine. He has added a girl in face book so did his friend.
Which probably means they just met some cool people.
Stop overthinking, there is no reason why you should not want to meet him. He hadn’t done anything wrong, you have hurt yourself with the over thinking. Not the action.
We have all been there God knows I have, at the end of the day you’re both single as well.
@Jburg32 Ever since my friend told me he might have someone else then I’m worried about this. It’s obviously fine that he’s hanging out with his friends. But he never add girls he doesn’t know. I’m feeling like I’m tired from all of this. Everyone says that he might want something again but he keeps confusing me with his behavior. I’m just worried because I don’t want to get hurt again. On our meeting he may seem all warm like he’s interested but then I realize that he’s just being “friendly”.
@oshi remember what you told me on fri, don’t jump to conclusions. Try and relax I know it’s easier said than done. But it could well be nothing, like u said u know him well and if he’s not the type of guy to do this then he probebly still ain’t. Were all prone to overthinking. You need to think what’s best for u! Try and focus on yourself!
The both of you are really at the point where you should ask now. But I don’t think either of you want the not sure your don’t know answer. Realistically how long can you keep trying to please the other person or worry about them being annoyed.
Wow @gingerone that’s a weird one… but as @Oshi says you have a great chance. Stick to the plan, take it slow and don’t put too much pressure on her or yourself.
@Oshi - We’re all guilty of reading too much into things. Just take things a day at a time. I’m the same checking upon my ex’s social media. I got paranoid the other week and ended up deleting whatsapp because I kept seeing when she was online. On the other hand it was that paranoia that ledmeto find out she was on tinder days after breaking up with me… so all I can say is you know your ex and stay calm.