Hi everyone, I haven’t been on for a while but I need some advice. Me and my ex started txting again a few days back then out of the blue she said she had been thinking about me a lot recently. I gave it no second thought and continued to txt a few txt’s later she again said
‘you’ve been appearing in my mind a lot and in my dreams, I even said ur name out loud one morning recently in my sleep then realised lol’
I just find it strange she repeated it twice. What do u think it means? Or am I over thinking it ?
Not overthinking… She misses you I guess. Not sure if she is looking for a sign you didn’t lose feelings for her or what… Don’t just give her safety and/or ego boost or she will disappear again
@kaila thanks for your input. It’s been nearly 4 months now, with hardly no contact bar a few txts now and again. I’m just wondering why she would say it. I’ve been getting on with things changed my life around for the better.
Maybe she is missing me but, I miss her. Is this my chance to show her ive changed or do i just play it cool
Met once when I had to pick up final bill statments to get the deposit back on our old flat (bills were in her name)
But when we met up you could tell the chemistry was still there, we were laughing and joking. She kept smiling and when I asked why she kept smiling it was as if she was all shy. She also complimented me on how I looked. I had lost two stone through eating healthy and working out.
Then we had no contact till the other day. She had started to like my facebook and instagram photos (I had been going hiking a lot up the mountains) she even commented on a friends photo of me (we were on a night out and I was smartly dressed) that it was a Lovely photo.
You talk about others’ advice… You give solid advice yourself.
@Ginerone
The same thing with my ex and I. The chemistry was amazing. It was fun and light again. We joke, and connected again…or so I thought. You can read my latest post, but essentially…I’m sure I was used as a comfort blanket while my ex was going behind my back and developing something new with someone new…for the second time. Needless to say, we’re through for good now.
Kaila hit the nail on the head. Be careful. You don’t want to comfort her to give her the ego boost she needs to drift toward others…or just make it through the day alone.
I agree with Kaila, she misses you might be sending some signs to see if you still have the same feeling … she might waiting for you now to say something she said you on her mind, she even call your name :)… best of luck … keep us updated
I’m just going to play it cool. She txt me again last night. She sent me a photo of some street art (she knows I’m into street art) with the words ‘seen this thought of u x’
Contact between us has increased a lot in the last few days. But I don’t won’t to think there’s more to it. She might just want to be friends, but with the things she’s saying sound different. She’s off on holiday with her mum soon (her mum always liked me) so in a few weeks o so I might ask her out for coffee/beer/bite to eat to see how it go’s! But at the moment I don’t think I should get too excited. Play it cool.
What do you guys think?
@Labound I was with this girl 6 years. I no she’s not that type of girl. I’ll read your post now. Thanks for your input!
aww thanks LAbound to be honest, I learned the most from atea, you, california and patrick
@Gingerone LAbounds was 9 years and still she did this to him. But of course it might not happen to you.
I think you should keep it cool, don’t answer too quickly or anything. Don’t say anything to give her safety or boost her ego. And yes, I think in a few weeks you can see try that. But I think that if she keeps it like this, she might ask you out before you do Meanwhile keep doing your things, have fun, be happy
My plan is to play it cool, and continue to work on myself. I’m so much happier now than I was a few weeks back. Getting in shape has helped me and given me focus.
@labound oh sorry I jumped to conclusions, hope everything works out for u.
Hey Gingerone, I haven’t been here for a while myself. Sounds to me that she misses you. I don’t think she would have said that if she doesn’t have feelings for you. I think she has but still it’s not enough to get your hopes up at the moment. I believe that if she’s interested again then she would start sending you more clear signs. Maybe she’s trying to figure out if you still have feelings for her. However I think you shouldn’t tell her about your feelings yet and keep playing it cool and see how it goes.
I know this because I’m currently in the same situation with my ex. After I’ve stopped trying and initiating suddenly he began initiating himself. At first it was just texting but now he calls me often and even offered to meet up! And it’s all coming from him! I feel better myself these days and I’m trying not to overthink and analyze his behavior. That’s why I think you should wait. If she’s initiating then it’s definitely a good sign. I say play it cool and wait for her to initiate most of the conversations. How did you respond to her text?
I just ignored it and continuied to txt her about other things. Then she did it again a few days later then I again didn’t mention it. Then she sent me a photo saying seen this thought of you. Im not sure what to think I’m just playing it cool. She did mention that she would like to meet up after she comes back from her holiday with her mum. So we’ll see not going to get my hopes up
@Gingerone I think it’s good that you just ignored it and didn’t mention it.
That’s great! You should remain positive because it seems like you are on the right path!
Thanks @oshi, if I’m honest I’m not sure what to think. I’ll have more of an idea if/when we meet up. I did find it strange that she mentioned it twice. And to say that she was dreaming of me, and even shouting my name out during her dreams does make me think. Last time we meet I could tell that the chemistry was still there, and the reason she didn’t want to meet up for coffee/hike was because she would find it hard to resist, like they say out of sight out of mind.
I’m not going to get too excited by all this as I could still be nothing. I’m going to continue to work on myself and enjoy life. The bad days are nearly all gone now I hardly ever get upset by the breakup. I just continue to better myself.
So @oshi tell me more about your situation. How are you getting on these days?
@Gingerone … This is just a guess/feeling, but to me she’s reaching out.
The basis of me saying this is the assumption that SHE contacted you first.
If she did, I’m almost 90% sure she’s implicitly A)Telling you she misses you and B)Is gauging your feelings.
In your place I would’ve said “Hey it’s nice to hear from you, I love to get together. When are you free?”.
It’s straight to the point, it tells her you’re interested and it’ll effectively put her on the spot in a “take it or leave it” situation.
If she’s looking for an ego boost and says “No, I’m too busy” just say “Well that’s a shame let me know when your schedule eases up” and go No Contact again.
IF she tells you when she’s free, you just set up a date at NIGHT.
Let me know how it goes, I’m interested in this one!
@solidturd I contacted her, I knew her dad was getting some test results around that time. He hasn’t been well and I wanted to show some support and also we hadn’t been in contact for weeks. But she was liking a lot of my photos on facebook and instagram. Even comenting on one of my friends pics of me alone that it was a lovely photo. It got me intreged so I waited a week or two before txting as not to make it look Obvious. But what she said took me by suprise!
@Gingerone I somewhat agree with SolidTurd, however I still think that the meeting idea should come from her, unless you’re pretty sure that she won’t decline your offer. She should feel like it’s her idea to meet up. Maybe you can try talking with her about some place nice or bring up this topic casually and see how she responds, but without asking her directly. That why you’ll see if she’s interested. besides that if she keeps contacting you then it’s already a good sign especially with all these things she said.
It’s good that you are focusing on yourself and I’m glad that you feel better, keep doing what you’re doing. You have nothing to lose!
@Gingerone As for me I’m trying to focus on myself and move forward. I feel better as well but sometimes still have those bad days. It’s funny that just when I’m thinking about moving on with my life and feeling like I made up my mind then he contacts me lol.
He began calling me every 5-6 days. I’m not sure what to think of it really. The fact that he’s doing it is great but it just makes me all confused again. I have some exams coming up so I can’t let myself thinking about him much. We agreed to meet up after I finish my exams, so I guess I just have to wait and see how it goes.
