So, yesterday he admitted to me he was depressed (which he would NEVER do and thinks depression is a joke). Then he admitted to me that he gets high in order to fall asleep. Which I already assumed both. Yesterday I was kind of stern with him before he admitted all that and he wasn’t mean/didn’t fight back. Also, he told me how he walked out of his job because he got into a fight with his boss (the one he slept with). I feel that I am handling the situation well since I do suffer from depression, but I don’t know how to handle him getting high for sleep situation. I do not support that, but as of right now I support him so I feel I should not put in my opinion until he asks for it.
@KD spent the day working out with my friend and stuff to keep her off my mind! Still missing her a lot.
@ellie Best to do now is just be the listener! I cant really advise you ok the depressimg part though
@Mj I think I’m doing the right thing just by listening. When he told me he got into a fight with that boss, I had so much to say but I didn’t… And I’m proud of myself… I have so much to say now but I won’t. I know how it feels to be depressed. By me attacking him as of now will make him feel as if he has no one. That’s the last thing he needs.
I just got his letter, and honestly I can finally say that I’m giving up. In the letter he wrote how much he cared for me and how his feeling was always sincere, he said that he never had before a strong bond like this with anyone else, thanked me for everything I’ve done for him, and said he knows how much he hurt me, also that he hopes we’ll stay good friends and keep in touch.
I know we planned to meet up and we are keep talking, but I can see now that all he really wants is to stay friends with me and nothing more, I guess his feeling for me are really gone.
I really don’t know what to do anymore, I think the letter was a bad idea, I’m thinking to stop contact with him and delete him from my facebook, I can’t keep up like this, I’m so devastated right now.
I don’t want to do something I’ll regret later because I’m too emotional right now, what do you guys think I should do?
@Oshi, I think you just need to relax and think things through before you do anything drastic.
@Oshi I agree with ellie. Don’t do anything based on feelings that you have right at this moment in time. Remember he still may not be willing to admit that he has feelings there. It wasn’t a bad letter that you got from him, remember you said that to me and my letter was very similar to yours! You can’t feel someone’s emotion in a letter, so you don’t know how he was saying it.
I think the next step would be to try and get some sort of false friendship going, if you feel you can. And then you can see how it goes from there.
That is what I’m hoping to do eventually.
@Oshi, if you think you can do this, false friendship IS the way to go.
Definitely. Get to build a bond up with him again, hang out as friends and see what happens with it. I will try and do that but I have to be prepared that it still might not turn out the way I wanted, but I need time to be prepared for that. If you can do it, it would be a good thing to do.
Yep definitely wait til your mind is clear. I think no matter how bad it seems friendship is still a start.
@Oshi, my ex and I decided to to be friends and now we are all over each other all the time. We aren’t dating and we still consider ourselves friends, but we say “I love you” and kiss all of the time. Just try a false friendship.
Thank you guys! I really appreciate your advises, you’re right, and I know I shouldn’t do anything based of my feelings I have right now.
KD in your situation he wasn’t ready to meet yet, which shows that he still has feelings for you and it’s hard for him to deal with them, but I’m thinking that the fact my ex is willing to meet after this letter could be just because he feels guilty for leaving me.
He wrote that he knows how much he hurt me, but felt like he had to share his feelings and his decision with me.
I just don’t want to get hurt again, I feel like getting him back through a false friendship will only remind me how he didn’t fight for me and it will make me feel like I’m trying to manipulate him to get back together.
I’m afraid that it won’t turn out the way I want and I’ll get hurt again, I know I have nothing to lose but I’m asking myself if I should really keep trying or just give up already.
@oshi I wont exactly say ‘manipulate’ but to a certain extent you will have to play some mind games if you want to get him back
@Mj: Thanks, and yeah I know that I make it sound like that but I’m just tired of these games anymore.
I guess the situation is not so bad as it seems, I have nothing to lose but I’m afraid to have false hopes.
Well I guess now the thing is that, are you willing to stop contact 'permanently’or are you happy having him as just your friend?
@oshi I think you need to take a few days to yourself coz you’re feeling very emotional. Get some clarity, and then make a decision what you want to do 
we are all here x
@Mj: I don’t know. I want to stay by his side but I don’t want to get hurt.
Next week we are supposed to meet, so should I be the one to initiate conversations with him or should I wait for him to initiate?
Thank you guys
In my case when I called my ex to meet up she couldn’t make it so we didn’t have anything planned, so I intend to call again tomorrow. Well that’s cause I know she most probably wouldn’t initiate a conversation.
I think you should wait a while more!
@Mj: I think he wouldn’t initiate a conversation but he said he’ll let me know when he can meet up next week, if he wasn’t interested in meeting me he could have just said that he’s busy or something, so I guess I should stay positive, it’s hard but I just can’t give up, not until I’ve tried everything I can.
When are you planning on giving her the letter?