I hope you are all doing. From what everyone has posted here I think the 13th day after starting NC is probably the worst It is just an observation though. My 13th day was the hardest. Lately I have not kept track of my NC and started to continue with my life and daily routine.
With a bit of snooping around I have observed that she has been seeking comfort from a friend (guy friend). This guy friend is supposed to be a mutual friend (more hers); but he really dislikes me hanging out with her out of jealousy. She however has no feelings for him. With a bit of over thinking I do fear that she is encouraged to keep the break up by her peers.
Today I did feel like breaking NC as I felt what if she is missing me now but with time she would move on. As in by the time the NC period has ended she would no longer miss me. I have not broken it though. I am sticking to what I started, unless I receive a proper assured signal from her.
Even once the NC period is over, what should I do? She reached out to me once which is ignored; will she reach out again? If she doesnāt should I make the move? I am going to use this time to prepare myself emotionally. I am not needy for her but I do miss her and her company.
Once after you cross 50% of your planned NC period, things would get much easier.
I have been thinking the same way as you. My ex gf texted me last monday but I have ignored it. I am hoping that she does not think that I do not care about her and have moved on. But in way this is the point of NC. It is supposed to give them that thought.
People always want they the donāt have or canāt have. You must be something that your bf canāt have.
My ex is the type to accept and move on so I have to be really care on what I do.
Day 10 NC, tommorow 11.
I almost broke it on friday, i wrote a text but deleted in and didnt send it. today one mutual friend was here and started talking how he was joking yesterday night when they were drinking, he said we wont be together anymore etcā¦ but he also said that he is hanging with them so much so he can forget and get over meā¦ and lol i was mad at them, they keep informing him about me, that im sad and that i hope to be together again and blah blahā¦
So okay, today i almost broke the NC againā¦ every two days I want to give in and break the NCā¦So instead i update my FB status and write everything I want to say to him or how i feel. ofc i put the status visible only to me. i hate it, i hate that i am the only person who cant talk to him and i am the only person that actually KNOWS his real him, and actually really cares for his well being and if he is at peace and doing fine and is happyā¦ this NCā¦ the only good thing here is that i no longer expect him to write anything to me ā¦ if he would write me i would probably respond. I am just scared so scared that when the NC is over he will totally loose any interest of me being around him, or that he will be used that i am no longer along his sideā¦
I do read a lot of articles about NC. Some of them said its actually depends on you. If you are totally fine with all this breakup situation and you are totally fine if she has someone else and you are totally improve yourself in positive way, you can break your NC. Because you cAn fully handle your emotion level no matter what. If you are fine during 19 days, you can break it. There is a lot of articles said its fine to do till 21 days. If you are not ready, then you have to continue your nc.
Yes i do understand. Thank you so much. Right now i try mybest to inprove as much as i can. Its really hard to see him with someone else till now. Its almost 8 weeks they been together. I know i cant have him right away. I just hope I have time to create friendship with him and have chance to be close with him again. I miss hum so much. I do feel you.
So here it goes, Iāve been doing NC indefinitely but today I stalked over my exās profile account and found out it was on public (before it was on private) then I looked over her tweets nothing much going on but one thing I hvae noticed is that all the tweets that we shared or the tweets that she tweeted to me before were all deleted. Honetly, I know I shouldnt be affected but it still stings like hell!
Is it really over for us? Does she really get rid of me? What do you guys think? Please any response will do.
Okay, i am not proud of this but every now and then when emotions getting the best of me I go stalk her profile (I know its quite obsessive of me to do this) and its just recent that she deleted every tweets that we have made. FYI its been 7 months since the break up.
Guys, im going downhill again. Im losing hope already. Please help. Thank you.
Hey everyone I am on day 17 of nc, I actually started this before seeig this website, so had done maybe 11 days or more. I am finding it ok, well hard because we have been in a long distance relationship for 6 months not seeing each other at all because of being in different countries after my visa expired and I came home to save money before we started a life together. He kissed a girl and broke up with me and they have been in a relationship since that day of the kiss which is like 19 days now.
I think its a rebound relationship because there was no gap between me and him breaking up and him starting his relationship with her. She is 7 years younger than him and fairly different to me and no plan for the future and they have both being studying in Australia and will return to their home countries and he is already planning to go to hers for Christmas getting a visa etc, moving fast (another rebound symptom).
I just feel sad about him dating her (she was my friend) and hoping they will break up but not sure when it will happen. Its only 19 days they have been together, he has deactivated his fb, he posts no photoās of her to his instagram but she has been posting a number of the 2 of them and he ālikesā them. He has been distant from his family and not telling them everything but they know about the girl ans they are very angry with him and what he is doing to me. Everyone says this is not him, not his normal behaviour. Think the distance and missing me then uni stress and this girl hanging around has created the situation plus we argued a couple times.
I am thinking we are at the death doors stage and wonder what to do after the 30 days no contact, especially if they are still dating? ???
I have heard she doesnāt have money to go to Ecuador so think it would be hard for there relationship to continue but I still worry and worry in case he still doesnāt want me despite us having a great relationship and him messaging me lovely messageās right up until the night before the break up.
Advice needed from people and Kevin if possible please
I am not sure how ready I am to contact her again; tbh I doubt I ever will be. I started panicking a bit yesterday and the only two places I open up are here (this forum) and to a friend who lives several thousand miles away.
I still feel broken even though she broke up with me exactly 2 months ago from today. Another hit to my life is that this all occurred in a very tough period; I have just moved cities (same city as my ex; I basically moved for her) and started a new job. Some might says its actually a good time but when you lack thick friends around the timing is hard. People always want what they donāt have. You cannot have freedom and belonging; its one or the other. So far I feel like I do not belong anywhere yet but I am still trying. I do still relapse but the duration of it is much shorter.
I keep feeling like I might have missed an opportunity with her by having ignored the text at the same time I doubt it would have happened then either. My ex is going to start her exams today and it ends tomorrow. From then she would be free to hangout with the new guy (I think they are casually dating) even more. My ex suggested to have a movie night and set the location to be a cafe but that guy insisted to watch it in his roomā¦I am not sure what is going to happen then. If they do get physical I do not know if she will ever come back to me or I can ever be with her.
I do not know where I stand in an emotional level but I do want to get back with my ex. I miss her and love her a lot.
I was thinking of deleting some posts I have made before about/to/with my ex just to I dont remove some memories of her. Do you guys think it looks bitter on my side? Anyway, as I was about to delete I read all of it and damn it still makes me smile and happy and at the same time sad knowing that those were the days and now weāre not together. I donāt know if I want to delete it or not. Its the only reminder of the good times that we had and knowing that what happened between us is real.
@Nell: yes they are, i am not just angry im furious, honestly. I told them its not fairā¦ they are sticking with him so he can forget about my existence,we all know he still loves meā¦but they want to help him get over cause they are sure he wont be with me anymore-as he saidā¦ they dont care that he actually also feels bad just that hes good at hiding it and iā¦ just cant sigh. yesterday i played along with our mutual friends, and seemed positive and talked about everything else, just not him. and then one friend sended me a text that i tried hard, and thats good and to keep it up and we will get along great. Pfft i ask them to tell me if he is doing okay and so, and they tell him im hoping to get back togetherā¦ day 11ā¦ its getting harder and easier at same time. i wanna convince myself we are both better off without each other - but my gut is telling me its not true. he and i are justā¦ perfect match if heād only saw our differences as a+ and not -.
Yah 12 days of Nc is still early and they been together like almost 8 weeks now. Sigh. Im so upset they still look good and so happy. Im targeting to contact my nc soon im so nervous
Maybe u can short your nc till 21 days only? Hows your day? Is there any interesting and new hapen on u? Maybe u can update a bit in social media. Is she contact u anything?
Thanks for replying immediately. Itās been 7 months since the break up and I am still not moving on honestly speaking. I donāt know what else to do. I am doing an indefinite NC and it is really really hard and sad.
@athens: oh wow, 7 months ago and youāre still tryingā¦ that means u truly love herā¦ how long have you been following the NC? Btw i do the same, about reading our conversations and memorizing everything, it makes me smile and remember the good times and then remember that these are over and im totally miserable thenā¦ it would be best if i dont delete the text, but i keep on reading them which isnt a good ideaā¦ i know how u feel about thisā¦ it hurtsā¦
I probably say yes, I really do love her. Sometimes I think Iām being stupid loving her because you know I have assessed our relationship but even though there are a lot bad things I still want to be with her. Itās been 5 months since the last I contacted her. Originally, I planned on doing a 3 month NC but I havenāt bounce back yet so right now itās indefinite Iām not really sure if I will ever break the NC since I donāt know how to do it. Well, I deleted the text messages because there are bad memories I could still find there. And yeah, itās nice to read them back again because youāll start to feel the love you two shared but when youāre done reading itāll hit you really really hard and know that it is over.
I understand and I have not deleted my exās picture or the conversations. The more recent ones were deleted due to phone issue but I have all our conversations from the very beginning. What I have done is made back ups of it and stored it in my computer. This way I do not reminisce to much in the past. I still have all her pictures in my phone and sometimes I accidentally end up going through it in search of something else. I need to move that too. If things do not go well (hopefully it does); it would still be nice to look back and remember this time.
Also personally I believe that you need differences and similarities. As similarities brings people together and differences makes us interesting for each other.
@aryyan
Today my day has been a bit tough. I am afraid of the things that could happen from mid-week when they get some more free time. I have been going out a lot and just trying to enjoy myself. I refrained from posting anything because I did not want to give her the satisfaction of knowing my whereabouts and etc. I normally do not post anything online anyways. She has tried to contact me once last monday. I will have to wait and see about what to do.
Hey Everyone,
I feel weak again with the desperation to wanting to contact her again. This is result of the fear that she might actually do something with the new guy. I resisting from doing anything and going to hold myself down.
Also where is everyone from or living? country only.
@athens: wow 5months since you contacted her last? well this is probably good, she will maybe totally forget about the bad things and when you contact her , if you do, it might go smoothly for you toā¦ and start on newā¦ you are strong willed which is great, but it has to be panful you keep her in her head everyday and dont get anything from her or you cant give anything to herā¦ all you do is resist the urge to not text herā¦ youāve done great till now, keep it up. and when you are ready contact her, if u really wish to have her back you will end the nc when uāre readyā¦ and you need to start talking something interesting and soā¦and not mention ur previous relationship
@martin: yeah i feel youā¦ i still have videos of him snoring haha lmao, and i have his pictures on phone and on computerā¦ and fb messages and i go read them and ā¦uhhh i feel lovely reading themā¦ it makes me nostlagic and sad. but i at least know he wasnt always unhappy with me /under stress cause of meā¦
hey, fight off the urge to text her ! its hard i know, but really if she has a new guy atm, she needs to realize this isnt working and if you text her now you will only make her go further awayā¦ she needs to see you can be ok without herā¦ i jnderstand it is hardā¦ but still, you need to give urself time and herā¦ so she will miss you, eventually she will remember you and the places she will go to, where u used to be togetherā¦ i believe in you and you can resist the urgeā¦ just really dont give up !
Martin I am from Slovenia and you?
i wanted to delete all, but i couldnt delete the ones where he wrote he loves me and a heart and the ones we were joking aroundā¦ and the last text he sended me on decmeber 3th which was; we will see eachother tomorrow so we end our story, i cant anymoreā¦" sigh this text kills meā¦ and i hope he deleted all of our textes cause we had issues in betwen and i wasā¦ ohmy i dont even want to think about what iāve written to him at some times and some pointsā¦ if he goes reading them im sure he passes by all the good texts and reads the ones that made him go away, so he would have bad memories about meā¦ or idkā¦ i have a new phone and i just putted some texts from SIM card to my new phoneā¦ about 10. only from him ā¦ so i can read before i go to sleep when he said good night,i love you.<3 :* and the morning text when i woke up when a text made my day : <3 or i miss you <3ā¦ sigh and this is goneā¦ all of this is gone now. we all need to stay strong, focus on yourselves , try to be happy without them,while hoping we get another chance to be happy with them again
I also had some back ups of her picture and other conversations we had. Thereās this saying that let go of the things we canāt control because it will only control us something like that. I feel that you should stop you know thinking about your ex and this guy.
@ Tami420
Thank you for your words. I really felt strong by the things youāve said. And yeah I hope that every thing that has happened and all the wrong (creepy) things I have done will be removed from her. But knowing her, she has this kind of attitude where she always try to bring everything from the past when sheās mad or whenever weāre arguing. Even though weāve settled some of it she will still mention it. I just do hope sheāll change and will give us another chance
It is just an observation though. My 13th day was the hardest. Lately I have not kept track of my NC and started to continue with my life and daily routine.