LA-
I’m sorry for how you feel and I actually don’t know how to help because I’m the same But I do hope you can get better!
Steve-
Thank you so much for your comment again!
I haven’t read all the comments here because of my exam on next Monday. I have another one on Aug 31st. But I’ll go through the stories here next week And after August I’ll start to study Relationship Rewind. My school starts at the end of August and career season is coming so hopefully time will go faster for me! Get distracted! Can’t think about him all the time!
I think I should restrict myself for Facebook for a while… Maybe just use it to upload photos to show I’m doing great
And everyone else here in this post -
Hi I hope everyone is having a great night (or morning wherever you are!)
I have a feeling you will get a response soon. It’s good to have some positive thinking and lets hope for the best. Just relax and don’t let it drag you down.
Today I officially ended first month of NC!!! One more to go (maybe two - still haven’t decided).
I feel bit stronger and more confident. But the feeling of missing him terribly doesn’t go away that easy. I think that the part where ‘you have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you’ it’s the hardest…I feel I will need 3 more additional months just for this part…
I have a feeling I will too. And I’m ready for whatever her response maybe.
Congrats! It’s hard to get through one whole month of no contact. Take all the time you need. Time heals everything.
Today is one of those days…I don’t have much to do much stay home in my room. Friends are out of town and family won’t be home till tonight. I don’t know what to do with myself. This can be bad becuase if I let it get out of hand I’ll start thinking of my ex. So far it hasn’t gotten out of control and I plan to keep it that way. Just have to keep myself busy with something.
Julia,
I know how you feel. Always keep in mind that i am here. We are here for you. I hope you do get your ex back. I hope he realizes that you are good for him. Stay strong if you think you need more time then take it. I wish you all the best.
Hey Daniel
How are you doing? I got some upsetting news today. I think my ex has moved on already. Remember when I told you it was his birthday and I didn’t text him cause of the NC?? We’ll my brother( who was friends with him and who does not live here) texted him without me knowing.He said that I donno what happened with you too, and frankly I am a bit upset with you but you were once my friend and happy birthday. And my ex replied that I love you so much man but let’s leave it at that and let it be over with a good memory.
I was all whaaaaaaaat? What part of it was a good memory??? You talked to my brother 5 months ago, told him to convince me to get on board with the marriage. You got engaged to me then disappeared without even talkin to my family or explaining yourself. You just gave some lame excuse to everyone including me, his own family and our friends about how it’s for my sake and you did it for me?
I feel like he has moved on during the last 2 months of our friendship. Cause he was so destroyed and upset back then and later he told his mom that I felt that way cause I was trying to accept the fact that we don’t work( which is a ridiculous excuse cause if we don’t work how come we lasted 10 years without anything bad?)
I just donno if he’s a jerk?or it’s that gig thing or what? Please help me guys
Morvarid,
Your ex only acted based on what he feels. He is also processing the breakup. But he is mentallyand emotionally prepared for this. Thats why he is acting like that. Hes been thinking about breaking up for a long time now its not an overnight decision. It couldve been months or years who knows. I feel your pain. You Are ao used to being togther maybe its timw for a break and find your own identity in the process of NC. Maybe he comes back and i hope he does after sometime. Hope for the best but expect the worst. Im here for you, we are here for you. Stay strong. The problem is with him not with you. His behavior is a reflection of himself. Chin up! Avoid overthinking.
I feel like in the last two months he was trying to move on with me around. And there was a girl who flirted with him and she was kind of a bad girl and she was one of the reasons we argued about. I think he even used her as a rebound when I was around. And that why he is so calm and distant right now. He couldn’t make it one day without me for 10 years but it’s almost two months and all he says to everyone is that this relationship is over
Daniel I’m not sure if I should contact him after the NC. He is completely changed and he’s so different from the guy I knew for 10 years. Do you think it might be the gig thing?
One more thing, first week of the break up we were arguing on the phone and he himself told me that the guy you used to know is dead and I’m back to who I was before you. Of course I don’t get it.
I’m not comfortable with contacting him in anyy way. Letter, text or etc. I feel like of done my part. And I don’t think contacting him would do any good. Cause even his parents talked to him and he just said that I know she( me)is the perfect girl…bla bla bla, but it doesn’t work and my decision is final. Again, I donno if it’s the consistency thing Kevin talked about or not?? And even if it is, how could I get through his defense mechanism ???
Morvarid,
Aceept the fact that people change. We are the same. Im not also comfortable contacting my ex in anyway. Its allright. Focus on moving on for now and being happy. You know your ex is right. 10yrs is a long time. Maybe you grew apart and you cant do anything about it because its your individual lives. You cant control him. We’re having a hard time because we cant accept the break up. So just accept it for now and focus on being happy on your own.
Daniel
Thank you so much. I just donno why it can’t bring myself to the point that I can kill that hope in my head. Cause honestly there no hope. He’s never gonna comeback. It’s been two months. I tried everything. Gym, friends,dates and a lot of other things ,haven’t heard a word from him, it’s like he’s enjoying himself but I still cry every day like it just happened today
Morvarid,
Put it like this. If you dont want something,would you try it and try to like it or force yourself to like it? You wouldnt right? Thats how he feels. Its like the spark was gone for him. Hope can be terrible sometimea. Its like your holding on to something that you know wont comeback. Killing it would be great help.
Oops!! Because of some stupid settings I may have applied to Facebook, I got notifications of his updated status He just came from a wedding and he wrote “Tonight I witnessed the concrete acknowledgement of the most beautiful aspects of life. Congratulations, on your discovery of what it means to live, laugh, and love.”
I know I shouldn’t be obsessed with it but I couldn’t help! He barely gets “emotional” like this on Facebook and all I’m thinking is whether he’s thinking about me because the last wedding he attended was with me and it was perfect…
Plus 7th NC for me and I think I’m preparing well for the exam
Sunshinegirl,
Dont overthink it will drain you if you try to decipher all the small details. We dont know for sure if he is thinking of you because of a wedding. You will just get yourself paranoid. Just relax calm
Down, fix your fb settings so you cant see his updates.
48th day of NC and I am terribly missing the person. I get to wake up sad again, been dreaming about my ex for a week now and its not really helping me get over her.
Day 27 of NC…I am so glad that there is such a post when I am so desperate and want some advice and encouragement. Reading all of your post make me feel less lonely and give me hope that things will get better.
Really feel down today…my ex didn’t contact me during NC (I don’t know whether it’s a good thing or not…), but deep down I miss him and hope he will talk to me. We chat frequently before I applied NC.
Last sat he changed his facebook profile pic (I know I shouldn’t check it out…) and I guessed he just went to Disneyland with his new girlfriend. It sucks and all kinds of emotions came up…I felt so angry, sad, unfair, hopeless…
Actually I am still not sure if I wanna get back with him…but still I can’t suppress all those negative emotions. I am going to gym, busy at work, going out with friends…but still I lack confidence and feel like I can’t find anyone who love me anymore (I have been with my ex for more than 7 years and I feel like I really don’t know how to date anymore…)
What else you guys do in NC? please share anything you think it’s good, I really wanna get rid of these negative emotion and build up my confidence.
Mhyy,
When i was on NC my ex did not also made any contact with me. It’s not so bad as you think. The purpose of NC is for yourself. If he doesnt contact you the better so you can focus on yourself. Stay strong mhyy. I feel your struggle. I felt like that before also. Focus on being happy. I also came from a long term relationship of 4yrs and yes you are right. It feels like you dont know what love means outside of your previous relationship because you are so used to each other. But trust me it will only get better. So keep your chin up and hold on. There is hope in getting him back. And there is also hope in finding someone better. Goodluck!
i know how you feel. but i’m not so far along in NC compared to you. the worse is having a sweet dream about her and then waking up to reality
everyone
also, how do i count the days of my NC? do i start counting from the day i don’t contact/stalk her or the day i start working on myself? like some days i just don’t get closer to what i want to achieve in NC… also, what if i contacted a mutual friend to talk about her, but my ex doesn’t know?
thanks so much! you all are the only ones that i can talk to as i try to win her back…
But I do hope you can get better!
And after August I’ll start to study Relationship Rewind. My school starts at the end of August and career season is coming so hopefully time will go faster for me! Get distracted! Can’t think about him all the time!