Hello everyone,
Another morning that has kept me wondering. Wondering about whether she got the letter already or not. If she didn’t for sure by today.
Had an interview today, it went well. Helped get my mind off things. I’m feeling good and strong. There is another job that I applied for hope I get that one though. I’ll be visiting the company to meet the manager in person Monday.
That’s all for this morning for me
Congratulations on the interview LA!
Hi there LA
Good work on getting out to job interviews. I hope you hear from your Ex soon regarding the letter. To me that was the worst, not hearing from her after I delivered the letter and knowing if she read or not. I never did hear from her, but I know she read it. I hope you hear from her even if it is just a thank you but its over. That way you can settle in your heart that its time to move on. obviously the best outcome for you is that the letter strikes a cord in her heart and it is the beginning of something new in your life
Shinshinegirl - Day 5 Yay for you 
However I’m a little concern that you are watching daily videos of him. I know you were in a LDR and he said that during your break apart he would send you videos, but I think those videos aren’t helping either of you with getting on with your lives. I’m not saying you are not meant to be together but if he is requesting space to sort out his depression then he shouldn’t be sending you videos as that wont be helping you either. But can you just clarify that for me please
Steve-
Sorry for the confusion. Not a native speaker so please tolerate my grammar or expression issues :)(he’s American tho).
I’m in complete NC right now, no messaging/facebooking/video chatting whatsoever… He said “I love you so much but I need a break” last Monday and replied my email saying things about “being alone” on last Thursday, I replied his email on Sunday so yeah it’s official 5th day for me Aiming for at least one month because Dara told me that for him time may pass slower (since he’s working 14-16 hours per day)
Those videos were sent by him when we were still dating. Back then we would video chat every day and he would send me an extra video before he/I went to bed.
I couldn’t help watching those… I have been preparing for my exam next Monday so I didn’t get the time to transfer his pictures/videos out from my phone. I’m doing it after my exam for sure.
It’s just… Seeing his smiles and listening to his words in the videos make me so sad. Oh gosh we’re not dating anymore.
Thanks for the concern Steve, you’re really a nice person. Wish you a good night!
Hey Sunshinegirl - No problem, I remember that you weren’t a native speaker that’s why I thought I would clear things out. I still recommend for your own healing that you try your best not to keep watching his videos. Don’t delete them or do anything drastic like that. Just file them away as every time you watch them right now is reopening the fresh wounds on your heart and not allowing yourself to heal.
Focus on your exam as tough as that may seem
Sunshine,
I agree with Steve, I did that at first too and it only makes you hurt even more. I remember I looked at some old photos of my ex and I couldn’t contain myself. I was miserable the whole day. It’s better to put them away, it’s not becuase your trying to forget about your ex but it’s for your own healing. You’re still hurt from the break up and are just recovering. No need to open the wounds again. Be strong you’re doing great no need to revisit memories right now
Sunshine,
Going back on those memories would just hurt you badly. In my own experience. I havent checked our photos or anything that would remind me of my ex for many months now. Im noy checking it because im doing fine now and i dont wat to fet hurt again by checking it. Reminscing the past would just hinder your growth and healing. Wish you the best sunshine
LA,
Congrats on the interview! That is indeed great news and I hope you have a positive answer from the job and from your ex as well. Keep us updated
Sunshine,
I will have to agree with the guys on this. It’s pointless and it hurts even more to check videos and photos that remind you of your ex. Stay strong! You can do this!
Steve, LA, Daniel, Julia -
Thank you so much for your replies and I will follow what you said! You are amazing! I got emotional from time to time, so sometimes I would make bad decisions… i.e. watching those videos
I have another problem that I would love to ask for advice… My day was usually ok, but every morning when I opened my eyes (I don’t even need an alarm to wake up now, which is so strange because I used to sleep a ton), I couldn’t help but those memories and the fact that we’re not dating anymore just kept haunting in my head… And that made me sick and sad. Is there anything to do to make this easier?
Sunshine,
I know exactly what you mean! The first few days of NC I lost my appetite and I couldn’t sleep anymore. I would go to sleep around 12am and would wake up at 6am. This isn’t good because you’re not getting enough sleep. I even lost weight and that’s very difficult for me. Two things helped me. One seems obvious but it’s the truth: you have go get over your break up, I realized that the more focused on other things the less is think of the break up and after time I ended up recovering sleep and appetite.
Secondly, if it’s currently hard for you to focus your mind on something else dont fall asleep while thinking about your ex or the break up. Take a shower, read a book you like, have some tea before bed, you have to be relaxed before you fall asleep. Your brain is like a computer, you have to close every program open before you can shut it down for the day.
This is just what’s helped me in the past, hope it helps you too. Stay strong friend and good luck.
To everyone:
Thank you! I’m very excited with what’s happening in my life. I’ll be sure to update you guys
Sunshine,
All i can say is tough it up. That’s exactly what happened to me too. I always wake up earlier than usual without the need of an alarm. I am also a person that sleeps alot. Somehow it felt like your sleep is so shallow and not comfortable at all. Then when you wake up you niss the ex so bad and all thw memories comw flashing and it makes you feel down right at the start of the day. Very hard to overcome. I also lost apetite i lost alot of weight like 20lbs.
Id say go for a run or exercise right when you wake up so you avoid overthinking. I know how you feel and its not easy. But know that it will pass and time will heal it i assure you 100%. For now you have to go through it so stay strong. I am here for you. We are here for you! Goodluck! Stay strong!
Guys I am so blessed to have you all!
For now, only around 2 hours in the morning are pretty challenging, but the rest of the day is usually ok. Very thankful.
Now I will have to put all the energy I’ve got on my exam. Every time I think of him, I will just tell myself, the more independent I am, the closer I am to him. So right now, dive into books and succeed without him. Prove it.
Thanks again. I am almost tearful while reading your comments here. How lucky I am.
Everyone,
I need some help. I’m losing my cool. I know my ex had received my letter and the suspense is getting to me…it comes and goes. There’s times where I feel good whiteout her and times where I begin to think how we ever got here. I want to text her but I know that’s a big mistake. I’m trying really hard to get this off my head. This weekend is going to be hard. I just want to talk to her not to beg for her back but to know what her reaction would be. Based off that I’ll get ready to win her over or move on. This is killing me…I not good when it comes to waiting
Don’t contact her. Sometimes no response is better than a response. She didn’t tell you never write her again, right? hehe Just keep giving it time. And try to let go of expectations.
I personally don’t feel 30 days of NC was enough for me. I still have the expectations of getting back with my ex. He called me 32 days NC to catch up and I was happy for 2 days just to hear from him, but then for the rest of the week I started waking up every hour again. Sucks!
Thank you broken love,
Yes it’s true and I know it. It’s just that evey now and then I let my mind wonder and it begins to assume things and everything goes down hill. Good thing is that I only get this little panic moments evey now and then. Last for a little bit then I’m back on top of the world. It’s passed now so I’m back at 100%. Thanks again!
Hi Guys and Gurls
Sunshinegirl - I think you will find most people here had the same issue with sleeping. I know the first month after the breakup I didn’t get a decent night sleep and I would wake up in the middle of the night feeling depressed and extremely down. It still happens occasionally for me. I know last week there was a night when I woke up at 5am and I was just about in tears. I couldn’t get back to sleep until I had to get up for work. Its horrible and sucks big time. I agree with what others have said already. Do some exercise, drink some tea or read a book. Anything to take your mind of the situation. Even come on here and just write how you are feeling. We are all in the same situation and know exactly how you feel
L.A - I feel for you buddy, As you know same thing happen with me. I never got a response back from my letter. What was recommended to me at the time by others on this forum. Is wait a week and send her a text message that is related to her goals or something that will intrigue her. Don’t just send a message say “hey what’s up”. If you still don’t get a reply then you will have to do what I am doing. Go NC with the intentions of it being permanent and the possibility of never seeing my ex again. For myself if I still have feeling for her in Oct (her birthday) I may reach out to her. But for now I am out and trying to establish new friendship/relationship and getting on with my life. A life that is going to be happy without my Ex.
Day 44 of NC for myself and I’m feeling good. I went out with a couple of new mates last night to a sports bar to watch a game and it was good just getting out. My Ex came up in the topic of conversation and I got the feelings of missing her and what we had while we were discussing her. But it didn’t drag me down. At the end of the night I was normal and fine, which for myself is a lot of progress. Don’t know what the future holds for me and I still feel like my journey is one day at a time. But I’m feeling like I moving forward
LA,
This is da hard part. You should have been ready whatever reaction or if she would even react to the letter. Atleast the letter has served its purpose. If she has already read it it would make clear that you are reapecting her decision and that you are not going crazy anymore and that you respect the space between you two. Keep it together man
Thanks,
Im feeling now. Today i noticed something. There’s times when I’m at work and just think how miserable I am having to be stuck at work bottled up with all these feelings. But the truth is that work actually gets my mind off things if you focus on it. I know I won’t be receiving a respond anytime soon since it’s the weekend. And even then if I don’t get anything after that I’m ok with that. I just want to know what direction I’ll be taking…that’s the reason behind my frustration.