JAM I feel wonderful, he said today was like being with a different me, obviously still the same but different. I have no idea how I was different though I was just being natural in the moment you know. And he asked me out on a date and he’s calling it a date for next week too and we’re seeing how we go. I’m just pleased about this other little slut from his work haha. I was so worried yet of everyone including his good friends he wanted me by his side today.
Yeah I now how you feel being with them just takes yu back to how natural it is to be with them and then you’re left with that empty feeling afterwards. Look at my ex today though he was all over my kissing me just brief touches here and there. She’s obviously struggling perhaps she just needs more time regarding it. I remember reading int all my exes signs but I sort of just let him be and let him do most of the reaching but not 100% and stuff.
It’s just difficult because I know that she is torn between standing by her decision to be where she is currently at and the thought of working things out… So, I have that feeling of wanting to reach out to her about trying to work things out but I know from past experience it’s just going to push her in the other direction… Then I think to myself because of what happened the other night that it’s different from the other things that I have misinterpreted during the split and that she may be looking for me to make the effort to try this time… Just confused…
Hey JAM, sorry i have’t been on very behind with my work at the moment and things have been going great with my ex. We spent the night together last night and he told me how there was no one else haha just me and it felt great We’re just hanging out having fun. Definitely not defined yet so we haven’t talked about anything serious just kinda set boundaries on how often we should start off seeing each other and stuff haha.
I’m shocked at things turning around I’m sure you can experience exactly the same as me. And I sure hope so you seem great and we’ve been going through some of the same stuff. Have things changed on your end at all ?
That’s really good to hear… just make sure that this time, you both make a better effort to communicate effectively, yelling, screaming and arguing are not going to help. You need to sit down and talk about things in calm and rational manner… When you get to the point where you feel yourself getting ready to lose control, I want you to think about everything you have been through in the past few weeks and how bad things were for you… Use this to keep yourself on track…
We have not talked about that night, we have exchanged a couple of texts. But nothing major… I’m picking her son up tomorrow for his last day of school for summer vacation. He’s going to stay with me for a day maybe two… We will see… like I said though I don’t want to just dive in… it will push her away… I believe it will at least…
Well I think living apart will help us and he knows that too and knows how great I’m feeling at this new place :D. But yeah friends helped me realise some things, like one of them really hurt me a couple weeks ago so I realised that I’ve put my trust in the wrong people (friends) and not the right people (my ex) cause I was jealous and crazy though he gave me no reason too. Hopefully if and when things become official we’ll sit down and have that talk and the arguing will obviously come up and we’ll try and set specific things in place to prevent that. Just before we broke up we had a major argument and for once I actually felt resolved, however a few days later it was over which caught me off guard.
Well you seeing her son is also a step forward isn’t it ? You went from no contact with her or her son for a few weeks there to now this. Things can change around in a day its crazy. I think no contact is not the way to go, but limited contact is effective especially if you make your communications meaningful. Have you read Toronto love doctor ? She has some great articles and insights on there
I’ll look it up and give it a read. When we met up the other night she said that her son has been asking about me everyday… Along with everything else as well, like how lonely she was etc. I invited her out lastnight but she declined because she had a doctors appointment this morning with a long day at work ahead of her. She text me today to make sure that the plan was that I would still be picking up her son tomorrow. We exchanged a couple of texts along with conversation about how her Dr’s appointment went… Just trying to keep any communication open at this point…
I’m not a pro at getting my ex back so just take everything I say with a grain of salt haha. But yeah I don’t think us getting back together was all me , I sort of had a feeling when he ended it he would regret it but it still took a lot. I think what pushed it along for him was me just being there for him. Despite all my shit I put it aside for him. However I can’t tell really what you have done to her to make her break up with yu or then how you may rectify that.
We basically just drifted apart, I spent a lot of time with my job and basically didn’t put the time in to us or pay her enough attention etc. She told me that she felt as if we needed some time apart, I agreed…
She has a lot of pride and is very stubborn… I know she wants things to work out… But I know that it will be difficult for her to abandon her original decision to leave… One day at a time I guess…
Well JAM i think i’ve fucked it up already. Sorry I haven’t been on here just trying to stay n the moment you know how it is. Things went well I slept with him last week and we had a sleepover had breakfast together and hung out for a while. We then talked regularly through fb chat and stuff and we had a date organised for tuesday just gone and he was going to cancel it because of money. I said I would pay for tickets and then when we went it was great he said i looked lovely and he bought all the food we had brought to us in the cinema. Then when we got home we had another sleepover and I slept with him again. It was great, we have very good chemistry. Then yesterday morning was the morning after and we slept together again before hanging out and watching a couple movies before he went to work. But I feel it got a bit awkward I’m not really sure how but it did a little bit. We did however both fall asleep during one of the movies with me in his lap. I then left as he had to get ready for work and its now 24 hours later and I haven’t heard from him. I know we don’t need to be in constant contact but I just feel like a booty call and have had a couple of cries. Not sure if I’m overreacting. We also have a date planned this saturday, planned by me of course and i’m cooking him dinner and have some lingerie as well. I’m so stupid i just let myself fall back in and I’m the only one trying once again. I just wanted to show him I value him and do different things and now well i feel like shit. What do you think ? I don’t want to say anything so soon because it is so soon but I don’t know dude I never thought he might use me, even his slutty friend didn’t sleep with his ex gf because he knew it was wrong and yet here my ex is doing it to me, surely if the slutty friend knew better my ex would to ? I don’t know I’m just trying to justify aren’t i ?
Natty, you are fine… Just relax. Yes, things escalated quickly, but don’t let that affect you. Stick with your plans and try to contain any in-securities that you may currently have. Unless for some reason you know that he purposely did things to get you into bed, you can’t just assume that you were used in this manor… He’s a guy and as I know, we are horrible at communicating and knowing how to do this effectively…
I’m doing fine, I met up with another girl this past Monday, we are making plans for a date next weekend… It may be time for me to move on… idk…
I’m coming to you with my insecurities but why do you think he’s barely communicating with me since we did all that. The movie was great and the night we spent together was wonderful as well. I’m worried I’ve just given in and given myself to him too quickly however I was leaving the serious talk until we moved forward more. He knows I have feelings and most women get emotionally attached when having sex so surely you would think of that. Is there anything about us moving forward and us having sex that would cause him t be awkward when communicating with me ? He texted me this afternoon when on break at work asking what was happening. It was kind of an awkward communication where we barely talked about anything and then we exchanged a few snapchat photos of us but he didn’t respond to my last message to him through that.
So nothing with your ex ? At least you’re actually getting out there though.
Yeah, nothing with the ex… She had saw that I was at the hospital on Sunday… So, she text me on Monday to see if everything was alright. I responded with a yeah everything is good, my daughter had an asthma problem but everything is fine… That’s the last communication I’ve had with her though…
If you feel as if he’s not putting in the effort, then you need to back it down a notch. No communication etc. make him chase you basically, not the other way around… Maybe this will show you what he truly wants and give you a better understanding of where you’re at. I know that it may be difficult considering how things have escalated recently. But it should help to figure out what is happening…
I met up with a friend lastnight who really wants to see my ex and I back together, she was hoping to convince me to keep trying… But, I’m not sure how much longer I could keep doing that because it’s driving me crazy…
Yeah I know how you feel about continuing on. Even though it might not be the case I’m in tears cause I really do feel used by my ex. I don’t think he has any of intention getting back together with me he was just really horny. I just feeling really stupid I didn’t think he would ever do this to me but I got suckered back in
Like I said earlier, shut it down… Don’t reach out to him, no how are you doing, what are you doing… Etc. That’s going to be the only way to determine if that’s in fact what he did… If he has genuine intent in trying to work things out with you even in the slightest he will contact you. If not… Then unfortunately that may have been what he planned to do all along… Sorry Natty…
Well he did text me yesterday but it wasn’t much of a conversation. I just feel like I’m back to square one and that I’m such a pushover that can be easily manipulated cause all I am now is sex. I think we still have dinner plans tomorrow however that was at my initiative and i will probably end up having sex with him again but then that will be the last time. I can’t believe i did this to myself and I’ve made myself feel like shit. He did the same thing last year came to me saying he missed me then a week later was like oh I’m not really feeling it. This seems very much like that situation.
Well JAM, I’m not actually sure if dinner is still on tomorrow I’m going to leave it to him to see if he initiates. He probably thinks he’s getting free sex tomorrow which is fair but not anymore. I’m not going to have sex with him tomorrow or for a while now. However I feel that its not going to go positively but I’ve sort of narrowed down what I’m going to say. Just that I’m confused about his behaviours and that I have feelings for him. And I may or may not add that I feel used and whilst that may not have been his intention that is the case. However I’ve felt like its done once again. Nothing I can do now :(. People say I’m more attractive than him and hence why he may have said such things to get me into bed cause he could have had an easy fuck but she probably wouldn’t have been at my level (this is others saying this lol) but its just like why would you go to your ex. Sure its familiar and you know how to please them but especially with someone like me i get pretty attached its so fuckign stupid of him
I wish JAM I’m feeling terrible. I had quite a few cries yesterday. Dinner is supposed to be tonight but we’ll see if it goes ahead, I’m not going to message him until late this afternoon to see if he initiates and how much he really cares about this dinner cause i think all he thinks it is is easy sex from me. I can’t believe he would do this to me, why do you think he would ? Also what do you think of my plan above ?
It all goes back to what I had said before. Your ex is fairly intelligent, he understands what it would take to put himself in the best position… Have the dinner… Push him out the door afterwards… Then see where it goes… Even though this is similar to the last break up you can’t categorize it as such, if you do… It will take the same path as before… “YOU” need to choose the path… Don’t let it choose you!!
and we’re seeing how we go. I’m just pleased about this other little slut from his work haha. I was so worried yet of everyone including his good friends he wanted me by his side today.
but why do you think he’s barely communicating with me since we did all that. The movie was great and the night we spent together was wonderful as well. I’m worried I’ve just given in and given myself to him too quickly however I was leaving the serious talk until we moved forward more. He knows I have feelings and most women get emotionally attached when having sex so surely you would think of that. Is there anything about us moving forward and us having sex that would cause him t be awkward when communicating with me ? He texted me this afternoon when on break at work asking what was happening. It was kind of an awkward communication where we barely talked about anything and then we exchanged a few snapchat photos of us but he didn’t respond to my last message to him through that.