I’ve been in tears this afternoon because I actually feel quite disrespected. I’m not just some slut who you can talk to like that and no woman should be anyway. I’m the woman who he was with for nearly two years and I’m the person that loved him so much it drove me mad. A male friend thinks he’s a lost cause especially now cause it looks like thats all he wants from me :(. I’m right back to square one right now because of how disrespected I feel. Like I am nothing more than just an easy lay for him now
Yeah, all of my friends have pretty much given up on me because I keep pursuing her. They tell me that I can do better and that she is no good for me, mind you that these are mutual friends and they see both sides…
You have to not contact him until you guys meet up, even if he messages you, just ignore it, go into the meet with an open mind… If he even remotely goes into the topic of just casual sex, don’t say anything to him, just pay your tab, get up and walk out… Maybe then he’ll get the point, the last thing you want to do is get into an argument and start falling into old habits again!!
Well I’ve figured if he messages me normally then I’ll chat but I’m leaving the contact to him. However if he messages me sexually I will simply say “I don’t want to put a damper on things for you but please give me a little more respect, I’m not just anyone I’m your ex gf, the woman that loved you for almost 2 years” something like that and I will say the same if he meets up in person. However I don’t think he will have as much courage to say it to my face. He could have been drinking again last night as I know he had a late start at work today.
JAM its weird ! I went into our messages again and he saw my last message last night which most likely pissed him off as i was shutting him down for sex, but it says “seen” tonight so he’s obviously gone into the chat again tonight.
Be careful though… If you say that to him the conversation “will” become argumentative and may lead into more than just an argument about said topic…
You don’t want to put yourself potentially into that situation…
But shouldn’t he know that I deserve respect and that me asking for that is simple and being quite respectful to him ? Also what do you think about him going into the chat thing quite often case the seen time keeps changing
He’s a guy so… For the most part they are dumb when it comes to knowing how and when to say things… Believe me, I know…
Along the line, he noticed that you were making an effort to get him back, because of this, he thinks that he can throw out this idea of hooking up with you and that you would jump on it… Literally… Because you are still looking for that connection with him…
Let it settle down for a little bit… He’s looking at your conversation in the hopes that somewhere in there he can find a clue as to how he should approach things…
Well JAM I have had a terrible night I was burned badly by a supposed friend and just wanted someone to talk to so I started talking to him, he hurt me in saying some things but also gave some good advice. However talking to him about it probably wasn’t a good thing. We then moved on and were joking around and stuff and he turned it sexual but not as bad as other times and i pretty much told him i couldn’t do the sex thing as i can’t detach myself and pretty much admitted i still have feelings. He took it relatively well and said he still cares in a way but can detach himself from sex cause he’s so horny apparently. Probably have fucked everything but I wasn’t going to just lie I had to tell him the truth, I didn’t say I still love you just that its too hard for me to be that woman and that I still care about him. Stupid I know I’ve probably fucked it and we won’t go for coffee next week or have drinks but I can’t hold it in anymore. What this friend did to me today really hurt and all i wanted was a hug from him. I said I miss your cuddles at the end of the convo and he’s like “miss them too”. I’m an idiot
Lol… Sounds like me every Saturday Night/Sunday morning… Yeah, I keep digging my hole deeper every weekend, just because I know she’s out running the streets and I’m just sitting here driving myself crazy about it all… Ahhhhh… Yeah, it sounds as if we are both pretty much toast… Now that he really knows how you feel, expect the barrage of text’s and IM’s to continue… He’ll use the fact that you still have feelings for him to his advantage. Now you have to worry about him “acting” like he wants to work things out, because he knows that’s what you want to hear… When all he’s trying to do is get you to have sex with him… It just adds another wrinkle to an already upsetting situation… I’m sorry…
He Knows how worked up I can get though especially if he now reflects on how I was last year too now that he knows how i feel. I didn’t overtly come out with it but I said I still care and have feelings which is why its difficult for me to get involved. He sort of insinuated the same bt said he can detach more. I’m fucked now at getting him back but at some point he had to be told
Well, if you feel that he has some hidden feelings still, maybe the meet up will get them to the surface. You still have to stay positive, after the meet up maybe there will be a clearer picture of where he stands. Then you can make your choice from there…
Well, the ex is over at my place right now, taking the last of her things… 
thought that maybe I’d be able to have something there that would bring her back… But I guess not…
I don’t know JAM I’ve probably pushed him away by telling hom I still have feelings for him. I wasn’t pushy or said anything about getting back together just honestly told him why I couldn’t get back and have sex with him. We might not even meet
Up now cause he’s scared
About seeing me that I still have feelings
Fml. What can I do. I’m gonna go into no contact over the weekend unless he contacts me. He also said he misses
My cuddles after I said it haha probably means nothing
Like I said before, it changes the dynamic… Before he’s thinking that you are good without him… Now that he knows that you still have feelings for him, he may try to take advantage of that… So, now because your heart wants what it wants it will be difficult to differentiate whether his actions are truly honest or if he’s just messing with your head to get what he wants… Be careful…
Well yep I’ve fucked it haha he’s never going to come back now. I think in a way he would have already known however when I told him last night I wasn’t overtly direct about it I just said I still care about you and me having sex with you will be too difficult because as you know for women feelings get in the way. And if he tries to maniuplate my feelings for him into having sex with him I will make sure I’m careful, but I’ve truly stuff things up. However n there I didn’t push him back for the relationship at all !
Just continue doing your own thing, see if the meet up happens… If not, then I guess you know where he actually stood as far as his “implied” friendship was concerned… But that’s all you can really do at this point… I met a girl online lastnight, not from one of those stupid “Hook Up” sites either. We were texting each other really late last night and seemed to hit it off… I guess we’ll see where it goes.
I always have that feeling in the back of my mind that when I move on, the ex will pop back up with the suggestion of us working things out, which concerns me…
Its odd JAM i thought I would have pissed him off when talking to him about my issue with a friend the other night cause it would remind him of the same old drama with me. But last night he again messages me, it was pretty basic just saying how cold it was but I was already in bed when he sent it. And I’m sure he’ll turn that into something sexual too but its just like he wants to keep popping up or something ? Why do you think he’s continuing to send me random little messages like that ? Also I realised the other night when I was talking to him after I initiated it that he started work the next day super early and so he would have gotten less than 5 hours sleep yet he continued to stay up and talk to me.
And gosh JAM the same thing happened last year with my ex and I. I went on a date he raged then came back to me. I guess luckily for him I didn’t like my date too much haha. But she can’t get mad like mine did because its unfair in emotional abuse really so do what you want :).
Yeah, your ex is still lingering even though you shut him down, I would take that as a good sign actually… Maybe for him, he felt that “sex” would have sparked the feelings and emotions that would have kick started the relationship. Or, maybe he thinks that if he is there constantly on your mind that maybe the idea of casual sex will eventually start to sound more appealing… Who knows at this point…
I believe that my ex is definitely seeing this DB looking guy, which in the past is what she has always done… So, it should end just as well as the last ones…lol… I’ve been talking to this girl for the past couple of nights and it seems to be going well, coincidentally she only live about 1Mile away from me…
Yeah I wondered the same thing about sex except I responded to his random message about how cold it was then he was online for quite a while in the morning but didn’t respond to it and didn’t look at it till mid afternoon. He was offline for about 5 hours yesterday from the morning till the mid afternoon so I think he was out with the girl from his work which I think he’s keen on and might have sex with cause she looks like that type of girl. Then he went to his friends band at a bar last night the same band he linked her to so I also wonder if she went and if not did he hook up with someone. As he didn’t bother to look at my message for half a day or even respond.
I don’t know what a DB guy is haha. But yeah those apps are handy they link you to people nearby !