Hahah lord I hope you’re right. I’m definitely not going to give into the sex thing unless there is commitment. And he also said last night when I said his spurred behaviour was odd he was like “well I figured I wouldn’t leave it two weeks to talk to each other agakn” so hopefully that’s positive. I’m keen to meet him for coffee after his interview. I lead him on a bit flirting and stuff but never directly said anythjng directly dirty lol but he thought I was and im like haha whoops
Great job… You are doing good!! Do you feel better now at least?
Because you should!!
Hahah I still don’t know how I feel. I’ll feel better if he gives me more of an indication rather than dirty messaging me while he’d drunk. But he is willing to meet me after his interview which is promising I think
Sitting at a bar currently, I know that the ex is not home… You know how I know? nearby friends on FB… She’s somewhere close to me, more than likely at a “Friends” house… Well, that’s what she will say of course… I just want it to be over… One way or the other… I can’t keep holding on…
I’m sorry JAM, you are similar to me, I used to drive past my exes semi regularly, I haven’t done it in 2 weeks since i’ve moved though. Do you think perhaps a if you make a list writing all the negatives about her it might help ?
What do you suggest about my ex and how to handle things ? How long do you think it will take for things to progress forward if that a tally could happen ? As long as he doesn’t use me like it appears haha.
Well JAM another interesting development, last night when the ex was begging me to come over and drink and have sex pretty much i deflected and said nah lets have drinks together at my new place with your roomie and my roomie thinking to wouldn’t eventuate and not in a double date situation either. Well he messaged me tonight saying yeah my roomie is keen to have drinks he’ll even cook for us all too. I was quite surprised and he suggested sometime after his career interview. It then led into a convo where we just had a joke around and stuff till he headed off to bed.
I don’t know… I can write a list of things down that are negative and at this point it would be a long list…
I found her car after I left the bar lastnight it was parked at another bar and stayed there the entire night. So, I know that she went home and stayed the night at this guys house… It’s the same guy that last weekend she told me was just a “friend”
What does she have to lose at this point, just say… Yes, I’m seeing this guy… Why lie about it?
If I were you, I’d progress slowly… Maybe send an open invite to him for “lunch” something that is not at night or involves drinking etc. Maybe even suggest meeting up so that you can see the dog a park or something.
Nothing that will give him the impression that you’ll possibly be hooking up afterwards…
Well firstly she may not being doing anything with him, just like how I was overthinking my ex being with someone. And if she is doesn’t that make you angrier, that she really doesn’t have that much respect, if she’s hanging round your old haunts she isn’t making it easy.
Well he and I have that coffee in a week after his interview and then we were gonna have drinks after then. And i understand your concern but if he’s also looking for a hookup with me he’s going to a lot of effort with it by planning drinks with our friends and in a couple weeks too. Cause once again last night he initiated the conversation just after we had talked the night before and then he messaged me again. And he said he was so full from dinner but he was like “if i wasn’t so full i’d flirt” lol. I don’t know why he’d want to flirt
Ehhh… I went and had lunch at the place next to where she left her car. Then the guy I expected that she went home with dropped her off at her car at uhhhhh around noon… So, she spent the night with him… (14hrs)
Believe it or not though, I actually feel better about it… As weird as it sounds, I have always wanted the situation to be black or white, I hate living in the grey… Now I can live my life, I have been worried about what I do could possibly impact our reconciliation which I really don’t have to worry about anymore…
I’m going to write the final letter in the next couple of weeks as a way to finally move on…
You are doing great… Keep it low keyed and you should be fine… Your goal is to get him to fall in love with you again. Not just sex!!
Oh so you saw them, thats very weird. Did they kiss each other goodbye ? She may have just needed to sober up before driving home. And JAM you shouldn’t have been worried about things you do to affect the break up she broke up with you and just as she can go out with men you can go and do whatever you want and if that affects you relationship then screw her haha.
I’m anxious as to whether this is a good sign, but he’s involving a friend that likes me and I’m sure if the other friend who hates me knew he’d have something to say and I’m sure my ex would then back out of it so it appears he doesn’t know. But I am not a plan b just cause he can’t get a root haha. I’ll be interested to see how he reacts when he sees me next week I just dyed the bottom half of my hair turquoise so its going brown to turquoise its actually really cool lol.
I didn’t see anything really… I left before she got there but then when I was sitting at the traffic light I looked back and her car was pulling out… With him behind her… Which was super fast considering that I just left, so… I can’t be sure… I know that when we were first together we would sit in the car for hours because we couldn’t let each other go…
So idk…
Don’t worry about the “friend” I believe that you rate above them at this point… 
keep making the changes… This will keep him interested in more than just “sex” remember 1 day at a time…
Well then thats a positive if she left immediately after ?
And all i see on fb is my ex tagging this douchy friend in a lot of posts and stuff. Makes me anxious that he’s just toying with me and soon he will up and leave again because he has gotten his fix.
That’s why you make him fall even more in love with you… Right now he loves you, but more so lusting after you… Don’t let him get his fix, keep giving him just enough… Make him work for “anything” your attention, your conversation, your presence… Everything…
No word from him today, as to be expected though we have communicated a lot over the last two days haha at his initiative ! Very nervous to see if it all happens and if so how things play out. I already have a super cute outfit planned for next weeks coffee date which he hasn’t ever seen me in before really. Really hope these are all signs !
At the airport again, getting ready to catch a flight…
I’m expecting while I’m gone this week that the Ex will be by to pick up the remainder of her things. It still gets to me every minute how things went and how they ended of course. Just on the drive up to the airport today triggers memories of how I would miss my flights because it was so difficult for me to leave her because I wanted to be with her every minute I could. As the years passed it became easier which is not a good sign of course…
Things were never really “Bad” between us we just drifted apart, which is even more difficult for me because it would seem to be an easy fix and I would expect that she would want the same, but we know that this isn’t the case…
Today I begin the letter writing process which I expect will take awhile, I literally have given myself a two week window, I plan on giving it to her on the 22nd along with depositing 2K into her account…
After that, maybe there will be some closure…
You are doing good Natty… I remember a few short weeks ago it seemed as if the roles were reversed for us… Maybe one day, things will improve on my end…
Her taking her stuff might be good for you though no more painful reminders right in your face and the money are you sure about that ?
Haha JAM our roles could easily reverse and there is no sure thing that my ex is missing me and wants to get back together. I do hope the coffee and particularly drinks with his friend go ahead. If I look good in his friends eyes that night that could help things even further. I want to message my ex as I feel he has been doing most of the reaching, do you suggest waiting a while ? Like tomorrow or the next day
Yeah, currently 3pages into the letter…
You can reach out to him and ask how his day was… Or, you can keep him chasing… Lol…
Lol lordy don’t make it too much of a mission for her to get through. I know with my ex when i’ve written personal things to him it makes it difficult for them to keep reading as the more they go on the harder it gets for them to keep reading so she could stop. Just a thought.
But I don’t want him to be like well fuck this she isn’t doing much i won’t bother anymore at all. I am now eagerly anticipating everything even though its like a week away :(. How to keep him hanging on. The other day when we chatted he said he didn’t want another two weeks to go by without chatting to one another which is like he was keeping track as it was almost 2 weeks since we had talked when we met up the other week. So it appears he’s open to keeping communication open
Yeah, I believe that it will be only one more page… Went quicker than I thought… the money is to help with not having anything anymore, since I’ve been basically been throwing her crap out and replacing it as the years have progressed…
Remember, keep things light and “non relationship-ish” basic topics… Etc…
ok just making sure that seems like a lot of money for sure.
And yeah I have been trying to lol. The other night when he messaged me about drinks he told me what he had for dinner and how he’s in a food coma and was like I would flirt but too full. Very random comment i thought. He’s got me hooked again I just want to talk !