Yeah, when you’re the one chasing the other that’s how it comes off… Because they think, hey this person is chasing me. So they think, well… If this person is chasing me, then obviously they understand that they were the ones that screwed everything up…
You can’t let his social media stuff get to you. He’s doing the same thing that I have been telling you to do… I guarantee when you are posting your stuff, he is just as upset about it as you are now. Remember this was the whole point, to get a reaction and prove to the other person that you are doing fine, if not better than you were before… Don’t let him see that it affects you…
I haven’t been fully chasing him though. I’m sure he would know i still care and that he would know I can’t just be “friends” with him and watch him date other people. Which I’m sure he’s already doing. I really think he probably is fine and there;s nothing i can do. And despite everything he’s done to me I still want a relationship with him even though he won’t even give me that chance ! I don’t know what else to do. I’m a weak person nd I can’t just walk away cause if I do that then I know he’ll be gone for good
I’m crying still like we’ve just broken up but its been 6 weeks. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I don’t want to sit here knowing he’s seeing other people and I’m just sitting here being so pathetic waiting for a man i will never get back
Join the club… Everybody here is pretty much in the same boat, waiting for something that may or may not happen…
I guess it’s just how/if we get through it that matters…
The ex was just on the local news because of the extreme weather we have been having here… Apparently she looked like a hobo, because she is sick, I haven’t seen it yet… Can’t wait though, lol…
@JAM818@kayjay I have no idea what to do. I just want to walk away i have no chance. I’m fairly sure he’ll be meeting with at least one of the tinder sluts or something or maybe even the 20 year old from his work. I just want to walk away now
Lol that should be funny. I have to go to work now and I can’t really feel up to it. I feel like i did when we first broke up. Still so sad and missing him despite all the wrong he’s done. Because of all the negative things he’s done will he even realise and then possibly come back ?
You are making so much progress now… Where is this negativity coming from? You’ve met up with him, he’s obviously got more feelings for you than the “just friends” crap he said to you… You are closer than you have been in the past few weeks of getting him back!! Don’t get down right now, take it one day at a time and pull yourself together… You got this!!
Just seeing him post on facebook and stuff. Even though we weren’t friends last time we were broken up he didn’t post like this like everything is ok. And sure it might be for show for me but I feel like it isn’t. I just really feel like I dony actually stand a chance. While everything he’s done seem like positive moves towards me I don’t think they actually are. It more seems like since we haven’t really talked since then that he’s gotten his pick me up and I’ve made him feel better that he’s gone back out there with his friends and chatting to these sluts and stuff. I haven’t said anhthing to him and probably won’t but it’s making me angry
Don’t let it get to you like this… Yes, he said lets be friends… I still have that feeling that he is doing this to get a reaction from you or to try and make it look like he’s doing fine, but… He isn’t…
For example, my ex and I are done. About 5hrs ago she changed her cover photo on FB… It’s a picture that I drew 6yrs ago. Something I used to enjoy, but fell off from doing when I joined the corporate world… It was with her paperwork that she picked up the other day at the house. What does it mean? Nothing… Can I read into more than I should and create a positive/negative meaning behind it based on my mood… Certainly…
The point is that based on your mood, you can interpret things differently and push them to one end or the other. So, stay positive take in everything you see as a potentially good thing…
Yeah I’ve been in a very negative place after trying to sort out our flights that we had booked together and nothing is just working out. He’s left me with this big mess to sort out cause of him and its so painful and even though he caused it i have to clean it up.
How do we know he’s not fine though ? I doubt he uploads these things with the intention of getting to me. Men don’t do things like that do they ? I know I do but I’m a woman and thats a natural thing for a woman to do i think haha. I do think he’s snap chatting other women and stuff cause the photo he uploaded to fb was a saved version of a snapchat. I could tell. It doesn’t look like he will be reaching out to me anytime soon but I was thinking in a week and a half when he has his new career change interview that I could ask to meet him for coffee afterwards to chat about how it went. As he knew I was his biggest supporter and also took the time this last meeting to tell me exactly when it is and more details of what he needs to do to get into this career. He may well say no but I thought it would be a good time. Bond over something I know he’s passionate about and that he knew I was very supportive of ?
Hell… I was doing that all of the time and I’m a guy!! You say that he is a pretty smart guy though, so… Make sure that you remember that when thinking about these things. In a post I made a long time ago, I mentioned the fact that is anybody worried that their ex is on this site as well, not necessarily on the message boards but has read the material… So, you need to assume that you are both using the same “Playbook” things that you read that were designed to help you like the “no contact” or using “social media” or even from the relationship rewind portion of creating a “false friendship” all of these fit currently to your situation… My ex is super smart as well and I see all of these things above, in what she has done…
I gave FB a rest though, I shut my account down on Sunday and re-opened it on Wednesday, I had to though because there is a person that I’ve been trying to hire for my company that the only way I have any contact with him is through IM… But I haven’t checked in, posted anything or liked anything since I’ve been back on, which I’m sure she has noticed…
Keep your head up, don’t let your heart override your intelligence…
Perhaps he’s posting these things for my benefit as I haven’t seen any new women like any of the posts and when we were first broken up and not friends on Facebook he only shared two things, but now he’s slightly more active and posted a couple photos, though they aren’t selfies. And lol i wish but I don’t think my ex is on these message boards or looking up websites to try and get me back, I think most people on here are the dumpees not the dumpers.
Yeah I’ve read up a lot of the false friendship however I find it difficult to tell if he’s sincere about the friendship or not though ? In what situations do men ever actually remain friends with their ex ? Unless he’s just feeding that to me like other men cause he doesn’t want to hurt me more lol.
As a guy I actually have maintained a level of “Friendship” with all of my ex’s… Key word “level” if they called me or text me for advice, I’d give it to them and it would honest advice, because I have nothing riding on it, because I don’t ever plan on getting back with them… Is he friends with his other ex’s? That would be the first question…
My ex has become more active as well on Facebook… She hasn’t really posted anything in 2015 in the past two days, she has posted at least four times… Nothing crazy, but definitely more active…
Like the fact that she changed her background photo to something I drew etc. I’m just going to keep ignoring it, as I feel like she is fishing for a reaction from me… I’m staying home all weekend and not going anywhere, I find out that when I go out more often I tend to do more stupid things, like trying to contact her…
Guess where nice guys finish? I would say last, but the truth is… Just alone…
No he hasn’t but i think thats cause the first one cheated on him and the second one just left him with no reason why but he said if she ever needed his help he would probably be there for her. So I don’t think he’s been given much of a chance which makes me wonder if his offer of friendship is al there is to it. I fricking hate this. I can’t contact him until his interview for his new career which is in a week and a half and i will wish him well and see if he wants to grab a coffee afterwards. Here’s hoping right ?
And JAM my ex also appears to be a nice guy but he’s not finishing last atm . I am haha. But nah thats not the case though. I know i used to be into such douchy guys who were dickheads until i met my ex. Nothing like what i used to be attracted to. Changed me completely hey. So ignore your ex ! You can and will do better !
Yeah, my last two ex’s dated a bunch of douchey, cheating dirt bags… I treated them both well and did everything that I could, eventually I guess it just got boring for them… They needed that “drama” in their lives…
The fact that your ex has no actual “friendship” with his ex’s, should throw up a flag that it’s more than what it seems. Why you? Why all of a sudden? Like I’ve said in the past few messages, stay positive… He’s trying to get closer to you but one step at a time… You don’t ever just jump into the pool you test the waters first… That’s what he is doing…
Well guess who’s messaged me tonight. He’s drunk as well, but I don’t think he’s too drunk. He’s being inappropriate and stuff telling me he still jerks off to personal pics i sent him etc and said if i’m ever down to fuck to let him know. As far as i was aware sex was meaningful to him as he has only slept with like 5 people which isn’t many for men over here and for his age. I haven’t been encouraging it really just joking and stuff but I hope he’s not just using me here and stuff
Well that was an interesting convo, most of it was dirty and him asking me to come over and stuff. He said he was drunk but he only had 5 beers…not many if you ask me but he says he was tipsy. He sent me a photo of his pj pants lol cause he was excited about them and we arranged for coffee after his interview in over a week. I also complimented him on his physic and we had a couple jokes and stuff. A lot of it was about me coming over and him dirty talking me a lot and i said ok “friend” haha I told him it was confusing though and he took it pretty well. We also discussed a problem I’ve been having with a friend briefly but i sort of used it to prove me growing bit by bit and stuff not sure his thoughts however he was sympathetic and offered me a virtual hug haha. But yeah catching up for coffee wednesday week. I’m going to assume none of his tinder sluts were keen
You did a great job with that, even though I’m pretty sure that the thought of going over there crossed your mind a dozen times…
And so… The chase begins, the fact that you shut him down, but in a way that was not a complete let down for him… Means that he will probably be more open to small talk… So, I wouldn’t be surprised if you start to notice this happening here shortly.
I agree with you about how sex was something meaningful for your ex given the number of (5) that is how I am, right now I could probably knock out 5 in a weekend if I tried hard enough… But I can’t and won’t… It’s more about a connection then it is about the act…
I guess there are no real tinder sluts hanging out with him, now you can put that thought out of your head!! Like I said the million times before!!
I know it seems like a good thing cause you know how they say that when they’re drunk you’re the first thing on their mind even though i have no idea how 5 beers made him drunk. I thought it was odd he still looks at me when he’s doing stuff to himself like mate watch porn or something ? But I still have no idea, I don’t want it to be just that he was horny and I was his only option. This was the exact same shit he pulled last time though. He said exactly like this time “if you dtf let me know lol jokes probs too soon for the jokes” but does it actually mean anything that because he’s not a huge whore (like yourself) and he wants to sleep with me there’s more to the story or that he really was just horny and didn’t have anyone from tinder like he had hoped haha.
Yeah, if my ex ever asked for casual sex I would actually have to turn her down as shocking as that sounds coming from a guy. Just because it would mean more to me than just that and that’s how you feel as well. I’m sure… He misses you, and I don’t think that he was drunk, maybe buzzed enough to get up the courage to say what he did, in the hopes that your response wouldn’t be to slap him in the face…
He’s lonely and has lasted as long as possible keeping himself occupied and trying to keep his mind off of you… Right now he is sitting at home, thinking about you at this very moment (literally,lol) You will see that he’s going to be reaching out to you more often, don’t give in immediately keep him interested enough that he keeps chasing but don’t let him get to the finish line!! This will will build his interest in you… Because he’ll be thinking “wow” she really is better without me, I need to prove otherwise…
You are in a good spot right now, the energy has flipped… You are in control…
lol soz