MET THE EX

Well your ex seems to be pretty public about her going out and meeting other men and if my ex were doing that that would help me hate him a lot quicker haha. But from what he’s indicated to me he just said he’s drinking a lot of beer, playing a lot of playstation and watching netflix like crazy.

I’m trying to forget about her like not to be nasty but if he wants to go after her then I guess I wasn’t as great as he said I was. What makes you think my situation is different to those who don’t get their exes back :/. I didn’t think he would offer friendship at all this time especially when he knew what the friendship meant to me last time and yet he still did

It’s his way of staying close to you, without putting himself out there emotionally…

The hug… Then the hug again… The consoling you, it just seems different… I thought that I had the same thing as you going, but I opened my mouth and did some crazy things that pushed her further away…

I’m just trying to advise you better than what I did… Because I know that I was close and ruined it all based upon my actions…

Are you trying to get him back? If you are why did you break it off in the first place? If you want him back go get him, he clearly still wants to be with you…why would he come over, hug you that way, even insist to spend the rest of the day with you if he has no interest…girl go get your man! Lol! There is nothing to see…go…get…him!

Yeah in his text after we met he said how hard it was and it was difficult to keep it together. I’m not happy he’s out there chatting to other women possibly doing more with them but i understand he’s entitled to I guess I would just like to know if he’s just trying to fill the void until he realises he does want to be with me. I’m not really a plan b kind of girl if his other options don’t work out.

So we’ve met up, I’ve sent him a cute text that in a way lets him know i’m thinking of him and now i’m just going to let him be. Do you think he will contact me himself in the next week or so ? Before I sent my text last week asking for my money back we hadn’t talked in 2 weeks and thats when he suggested the meet up. However in 2 weeks he has his interview so I know I will definitely send him a text wishing him well and would also like him to call me and tell me about it after but thats probably too much. Do you think waiting for him the next week is a good plan and that he might contact me ? Otherwise any other suggestions

Keep doing what you’re doing… Let it progress naturally if you force it upon him you’ll push him away like I did to my ex… I know you want it to hurry up, but time will fix everything…

Keep a positive attitude, and think positively that it will indeed work out for you… It’s not a matter of if, as much as it is a matter of when… Hold on to that and you’ll be fine…

I do believe not contacting him for some time will work. A week is honestly the minimum wait to me but i remember when my ex broke things off i got a message from him after a week of no contact. But because ive been broken up with i can tell you that if he still has feelings for you he would honestly just like to hear you say you want to try again instead of you sending things that remind him you care about him still…that is torture if he knows deep down he wants to be with you. Dont go back for another try if you dont see marriage, a third try to me is absurd if you broke up with him both times…whats stopping you from doing it again is something i would tell him before considering you a third chance. If you see a future with him then take him back before he gets common sense, at this moment he is vulnerable so anyone can help him feel better about things to get his mind off of you…if you want him, take him but make sure its not because youre jealous of him talking to other girls…he cant mope around waiting on you forever.

Hahah I wish I shared your positivity JAM but thanks so much for your help. Your ex is a fool haha you seem wonderful :slight_smile: I hope we both meet someone great soon enough. I sometimes wish I could meet a man that just makes me forget about my ex because he’s so wonderful. Lol not happening and even if Im on tinder I doubt it will happen on there. Lol when I saw my ex on there I matched him. But I delete it and then bring it back then delete it again I don’t know what I wsnt haha. Hopefully this next week and so on I’ll be on my exes mind after our meeting this week

Yeah, I hear that from everybody else as well… They say that she’ll regret all of it eventually and these are all women. But she is so strong minded and stubborn. Even if she wants to be back she’ll stick by her decision…

Even though I have opportunities to move on, I keep ignoring them just due to the fact I don’t want to have any regrets later on…

Well you and I seem like the kind of people to not go out there and slut it up even though we think that may help us or whatever. I think its good we’re not out there advertising ourselves like our exes as in the long run we will be better off emotionally when it comes to a future relationship as we have let ourselves deal with the emotions even though it sucks and seems never ending right haha.

Also if you were a girl and my ex added you and most of the photos over the last year and a half have been tagged by me or uploaded by him and have me in them would that be confronting to you as a new lady. Cause obviously we women are big stalkers haha. I know i did that when i got together with him but there was barely any trace of his ex on there.

I would be more concerned if he actually removed himself from being tagged in photo’s… Because that would mean that he’s trying to cover up or hide the fact that he was with you…

I always expected my ex to do that. But I know that she doesn’t really care what other people think… She would just explain it off as it’s her past and has nothing to do with the now or the future…

Yeah I don’t know if my ex is just not the type of guy to remove all the photos of his past till he’s truly moved on as he had a few with his ex still on there but nothing major like us. He still has all the main photos from our trip away last year and the only photos on his instagram were because i was in them pretty much and they’re still up. I don’t know if it actually means anything though ? I deleted photos of him last year but only profile pics which had him in them I still kept our travel photos up. I also have just relised the photo he has as his profile pic now is one i took and tagged of him from our overseas trip last year.

Ugh I hate this just going through our photos and I realise the great times we had and how much i miss him and stuff. Can I actually ever get him back :confused:

Yeah, when I search my Ex on Facebook… The first pic is the Facebook announcement with a picture of both of us that says “Just got engaged” I’m not sure why that’s the first one, because there are other things that happened afterwards… It’s just weird how Facebook organizes things… Because that was two years ago… Just makes it worse when you look at it… Lol…

My ex is not a real big Facebook person though… She’s a “like’r” she doesn’t and hasn’t posted anything on there since the split… Except for one photo that she used as her wallpaper of a picture she took in Niagara Falls when we lived in New York… She’ll occasionally respond to someone else’s posts but that’s rare as well…

You’ll get him back!! The most important thing is that you learn from the experience and that you work harder to make sure that things don’t ever go back to the way they were. I know that if this were ever the case for me, I would take every opportunity to ensure that things go the right way this time…

Hahaha ah yeah the liker’s hey. I’m a Facebook fiend its sad and gets in the way of my uni :stuck_out_tongue: . Oh gosh i know fb is liking to remind you of things you don’t want to remember these days hey. I’m expecting ne could pop up at the end of this month as my ex and I had a “met each other on this day” life event and so on.

Why can’t I share your positivity in our relationship. Maybe I’ve only told you the positive things and neglected how negative things in our relationship were :confused:

When you miss somebody and want to be with them you have a tendency to forget or trivialize the negative aspects of the relationship. Most of the time though when you look back on the bad things you start realize that they weren’t really as bad as you made them out to be… Little things that could be easily worked out, turn into big problems for no apparent reason…

Then you say to yourself what in the hell was I thinking all it would have taken was to say something different or listened more just some small thing that could have avoided this outcome…

When you look back on things, take an outsiders prospective on your situation and just look at yourself. One thing I realized was that most of the things I blamed her for were created by things I did or said to her. If I would have been a better communicator, I could have avoided almost all of my “perceived” problems I had with her…

Well it may be too late but at least you acknowledge what you did do to contribute to the failure. I don’t know if he ever will be able. Lol what is it with men using women as their scapegoats :stuck_out_tongue: . I have faith that my ex may one day see that again I wasn’t so bad but whether I’ll be around with be a different story. I can’t go on like this forever. I love him yes but not to the point to where i will sacrifice my well-being for him :confused:

Hey JAM I really am concerned about this 20 year old slut from his work. I know she was in a relationship up until the beginning of April but I can’t tell if she still is anymore. She seems to have a bit more similar taste with my ex than I do. I also see him on Facebook until the middle of the night on a work night which is odd for him, with me he would always be in bed at a reasonable hour.

Like I said though, you can’t put too much into this… Soon you’ll be making up scenarios (if you haven’t already) like, he’s on Facebook talking to this chick… Or doing something else, to tell you the truth your better off with him actually being on FB all night… You know why? Because that means he’s not “doing” anything (including said random 20yr old “Tart” lol) so, take the lesser of the two evils at this point…

@kayjay thanks for your reply :). I sadly did not actually break up with my ex this was the second time he broke up with me. We argued a lot in our relationship due to stressors in my life outside the relationship such as family and my job. I understand it got too much for him but he just broke it off again yet is giving mixed signals again and is on tinder with his profile saying “in need of a winter warmer, apply within”. That shit upset me a lot. i want to tell him how I feel but I feel that it will appear as an ultimatum as i can’t be just his friend and then he will walk away for good. But I’m struggling just to sit back. I don’t feel any better about life than I did 6 weeks ago when we broke up. Well thats an exaggeration I do, I have found a great new place to live :smiley:

@JAM818 I know its a good thing he’s on fb but tonight see he posted a photo of his mate cooking him a BBQ and my ex was holding a beer in the shot too. Posted it to Facebook saying he loved said friend. It just pissed me off it was weird he posted such a thing. Like it was a screenshot of a snapchat he sent probably to his tinder bitchez and then uploaded it to Facebook like he was having a good time. I’ve had a very bad day today. I found out changing my exes name on the flights to hawaii is going to be very expensive and difficult. My friend then hung out with me and said she hope my ex doesn’t come back because I seem happier and freer which is odd. I am trying to put on a good front but i still feel the same and its hurting. I’ve felt strongly about deleting him but i think by ding that it will push him out the door even more than already has happened.

While I was out of town this week, my ex was supposed to come by and pick up all of her things she left behind, which was seriously 40Boxes of stuff… When I got home last night I noticed that she had been by the place and picked up maybe 5 or 6 boxes and some important paperwork… But that was it… She just text me to see if I was out of town still and I told her no. But then I told her that I rented a large SUV for the next couple of days and she was welcome to use it so that she only had to make one trip, and that I would leave the house so that she could do it. She said that she wasn’t feeling well and that she would come by next week…

Arghhhhh… Just get the stuff already, It’s been 4months I’m tired of being reminded of everything when I walk through the door!!

Sorry, just ranting…

Lol kinda like my ex he hasn’t returned everything of mine but I’m sure thats just cause he’s a dumbass like that.

I myself am also pretty pissed off. Like I said my ex posted that photo on fb last night which firstly is odd and secondly annoys me because it looks like he’s doing just fine and shit while I’m here left dealing with this shit of him breaking up with me just after we booked a hawaii trip. I think of all the bad things he’s done to me throughout the breakup and how bad he’s still making me feel yet I still love him and want to be with him. Even though my friends say they hope he doesn’t come back to me. Even though lets be honest he won’t ever come back to me because by the looks of things he doesn’t need me he has the tinder sluts and his nasty ass friends. I literally don’t stand a chance at all and thats why I had a little breakdown last night because its so disappointing everything thats got down yet I can’t say anything to him cause it won’t make a difference I’m fully to blame in his eyes.