Hello all!
@KD1988 I think hes again kinda playing mind games with you, sounds like as if hes trying to push you to push him about saying somethings to him cuz of his pride after knowing that you’re doing just fine I dont know and doing it without you realize…just stay strong. Why dont they just man up and accept whether they still have the feelings…maaann
@pineappleblue When did he say that not to fight for him and move on ? Was it when you did meet up 2 days after the break up ?
@malinda Yes it was then! The two days after… Haven’t heard from him since…
@kd1988 yes definitely a write off!
‘‘He’s saying he feels like I’m trying to justify us getting back together, that he’s glad I’m ok and I’ve sorted myself out but that doesn’t change his feelings. I haven’t said anything about us getting back together just that I wouldn’t rule it out!’’
I might be wrong maybe but this is weird,as if hes playing…don’t let this make you feel upset, it might be cuz of he still has feelings and denying inside or trying to make you feel you’re pushing him or something else I don’t know but most important dont get into it too much cuz you’re doing good @KD1988
@pineappleblue you’re really cool, you have that such patience. Does he know you met up with his mother for a coffee and I wonder if his mother talked to him about you after that…
@malinda I don’t know what game he is trying to play here at all. It’s really hurting though today. I’m trying to be strong and think of the best case scenario but it is hard today!
I’m starting nc again from today. No more messages, if he messages me, which im not sure he will, then I’ll see what he says before I decide whether to reply or not!
@malinda thanks! I don’t know where the patience has come from… I’m not normally! Haha!
I don’t imagine so as she won’t have seen him… She may have text him but i doubt it!
Maybe I was afraid of losing him forever if I didn’t anwer his texts emails and calls so I have ended no contact before I got what I really wanted him to do but I should have taken risk and gone until the end but it was my mistake getting back to him without having what I really wanted and these happened twice but anyway in the end things happened as how it should be. So try to be determined about what you really want in your own way
And patience is also the key, I was very impatient. They like to see us determined and strong in fact and this will make them feel sort of weak so they will end up coming back crawling if they truly love you… Its funny though I’m aware of all these but yet failed, saying things is the easiest, the real thing is putting them in action
We should all listen to our own advice really… It’s not easy though! Easy to say when it’s not our own situation!
Really wish he had been in touch! I thought he would have by now, to at least see if I’m okay! It hurts that he hasn’t! I know his mum said its him trying not to hurt me but I don’t get how he can do it…
Yes that is what I was also wondering about. It seems like theres something missing
How have you reacted when he said about the break up ?
@malinda @pineappleblue I think a lot of it is to do with pride. It’s not that they don’t care, they just don’t want to be seen as showing us they do care. It’s hard to tell how they are really feeling but you know them better than anyone!
I agree it’s easier to give advice then put it into action, but I think from now on I have to, otherwise I am going to push him away so much he will never want to talk to me again!
He neither lets you go away nor accepting that he has the feelings and wanting to get back…he will be sure of his true feelings in time I guess so try to be patient but dont let him make you upset with his words or behaviors while in contact but if you cant help with it then for that NC would help @KD1988
When he initially said it I got upset and went into panic mode! I asked how long he’d felt like it (3 months) if there was someone else (of course not) and how he could go along with looking at houses (he didn’t answer - just put his head in his hands), so I said I thought we needed space, packed my bag and left! Then we didn’t speak for 24 hours, when I text him and he told me he needed to see me and we arranged to meet the day after… We met at a local park and sat in the car as it was very windy! I basically said I was there to listen to what he had to say and he repeated his reasons, he loved me but wasn’t in love with me, didn’t find me attractive anymore etc! He cried, I didnt, I said if he genuinely felt like that he’d done the right thing by telling me and that I loved him and would never hate him! I gave him a hug and he got out of the car and went home! That’s the long and short of it really… It was very amicable! He said he wanted me to kick and scream and shout at him but I said I wouldn’t do it coz he’d done nothing wrong, in reality I think he wanted me to make it easy for him to walk away, but I refused to do that!
@malinda it’s just brought up all the bad feelings I thought had gone. Very similar to @pineappleblue really. And the fact he bought it up again today means he still feels that way. That’s the bit that hurts. I think I have to do no contact, he needs to know I am not here and to be honest he needs to miss me a little bit!
@pineappleblue you handled that so well!!
He must have been on a guilt trip and you have reacted way cool and wise about his decision that reaction itself should made you attractive anyway and thats something most people not able to do in such situation, who knows even maybe he asked his mother to meet you up to see how you doing since he hasnt heard from you. Are you active on your fb
@kd1988 Thankyou! I’m really proud of how I handled it… I just don’t know how it will have influenced our outcome! I wish I could know…
Yes it hurts doesn’t it? No amount of positive thinking or changes can stop it hurting! 
and its not just an emotional hurt is it? Feels like your heart is heavy and aching in your chest! It’s true when they call it heartache!
@malinda yes I’m still on there and we’re still friends! Iv put a couple of bits on but not a lot to be honest… Haven’t really known what to put as most the time I’m thinking about the break up but I don’t want him to see that!
I dunno, maybe he did, I’m not sure to be honest! It didn’t seem that way but then again you just never know do you?
@pineappleblue absolutely!! It literally hurts your heart! That’s how I feel today. Bought up all those feelings of what went wrong and how he felt about me. I didn’t need any of that. I’m just trying to tell myself that he’s playing games because he isn’t certain what he wants right now