Not panicking enough to do something about it though!! He’s just really annoyed me. I’ve been so good and one conversation like that turns everything upside down! To me it’s simple, I had a problem that caused the break down of our relationship, I have fixed that problem and yet he won’t go back there again. Denial, I dunno what it is, stubbornness maybe. I almost wanna shake him and be like wtf is your problem just give me a chance! I need to just calm myself down!
He’s saying he feels like I’m trying to justify us getting back together, that he’s glad I’m ok and I’ve sorted myself out but that doesn’t change his feelings. I haven’t said anything about us getting back together just that I wouldn’t rule it out!
Take some breaths and think about all the positive things you’ve done!
Is this making you think twice about him and what you want? It’s back to that same thing of when one pushes and acts out then the other one pulls away, except he’s now doing it to you not the other way round!
I know in my heart I want us back together, because I know that we would be ok. It’s just confusing me and I’m getting upset about it. I feel like I’m back at square one again with all the hurt from when we first broke up!
Would it be to much to start NC again? It might do you some good?
I think that’s exactly what I need to do. For some reason he’s got it in his head im trying to push to get back, I really don’t know how he has got that because I’ve said nothing. But if that’s the case then nc is all I can do. I can’t risk him feeling pressured and obviously im doing something wrong!
Hrm sounds to me like maybe it’s him, not you! Perhaps he’s got his own issues to work on… Or maybe he’s just afraid? I’m sure he can see that you’ve improved yourself and everything but maybe he’s just not feeling safe enough at the moment, you know?
Really though, who knows, people are so complicated.
As for me I’ve just been out for a night out with some friends… And it was amazing! Had a great time 
We went out for dinner and out to the pub and we all stayed in a hotel together… And it was fun. It made me realise that actually, I can be happy without my Ex… Gives me hope that if things don’t work out that I can find happiness elsewhere.
But weirdly, I also feel a little guilty about going out and enjoying myself. I can’t help but wish I’d been out with her instead of my friends.
Also, although I’m trying my best not to, I’m still worrying about that letter I sent. Though I’m trying to remind myself that to not have expectations and not worry about what ifs etc etc. But now I’m also worrying that if she DOES start talking to me again, that I won’t be emotionally strong enough to be able to coax her back to me heh.
I guess I can’t win 
@annakis yeah it could be him. I was starting to think he still had feelings but was afraid of persuing them. But I dunno, what he said this morning kind of made me feel the complete opposite, that those feelings just aren’t there at all. I’m very confused. But still wondering why he wouldn’t be able to meet me if he didn’t have feelings still?
That’s good that you went out and had fun. No need to feel guilty for it at all. That’s what you should be doing as for the letter, I know it’s hard, but try your hardest not to dwell on it
I agree with @annakis I think he is afraid! He’s seen you do all these positive things and perhaps he feels he needs to make some positive changes to and he’s worried that you’ll move on in the meantime? I think your right, start NC again… I think it’s another liberating act on your part to show you can do it…
@annakis do not feel guilty for enjoying yourself! It is completely normal to wish she were there, as I imagine when you were together she would have been!
Do you not feel strong enough yet? Remember, just if she responds you don’t have to respond straightaway! Give yourself some time to think about how your going to deal with it… And you can’t do that until she comes back to you! Just try and stay positive until you know…
Yeah you’re right, and I did really have fun. I felt happy, I felt confident… Barely thought about her. But I can’t help but thinking man, I wish she’d been there, seen how happy and how confident I was…
And yeah I can see how you’d be confused… I am too to be honest. Maybe he doesn’t know what he wants yet either? Sometimes people get back together in a matter of weeks, but I think for a lot of us we’re probably in it for the long haul… Which sucks because I know personally I don’t want to wait, but it’s an advantage for us too because it gives us more time become better people and to think of ways we can make our new relationship with our Ex’s work…
I feel im kind of kidding myself a little bit that he’s feeling that way! It could be true but he could also genuinely be fine and not have any feelings. I just find that a little hard to believe!
Yes, no contact again. I’ve done it before I can do it again!
Argh I know I hate feeling that way. I want to believe that when she’s not with her new bf, my ex is sitting there thinking about me and wondering if she made the right decision. She said something along the lines of “If it’s meant to be, I’ll come back.” Which makes me think perhaps even as she broke up with me she was already unsure if it was the right thing… Perhaps she was leaving herself a way to come back if this new relationship didn’t work?
Which sucks because I don’t like thinking of myself as her backup plan, and if she DOES ever come back it’s going to take a lot of work from both her and me before I can get over the fact that she’s been with someone else all this time, but hey we’ll cross that bridge if we come to it…
But the thing is how can we really know how another person is feeling? For all I know she’s having a whale of a time without me, never thinks about me at all…
It’s annoying isn’t it, we’ll drive ourselves crazy thinking about it
It’s funny you said she said that as my ex told me to move on and not wait for him, that he didn’t think he’d change his mind! I told him I loved him with all I had and I would fight for him every day for the rest of my life but if he didn’t want me to i would let go! And he said he didn’t want me to fight for him anymore 
maybe I am fooling myself!
Aw see my ex said that to me but she also told me to stop fighting… I think she was talking about right there and then though, as in she wanted me to stop fighting her on her decision to break up. Makes sense really, she hates conflict and I don’t think she really knows how to deal with it.
Like I said, I do hope she realises what she’s lost and decides to come back, but it’s a littel scary thinking about how hard it’s going to be to trust her again… But if we’re both willing to work at it, I think it could be okay.
Thing is, I dunno if she is! Perhaps she just wants me gone from her life. Hrrrrm.
So difficult!
I’m bringing everyone down with ME today, I’m so sorry. I do think a lot of it is protection. And they are unsure as to what they want to do so have this defence up and it won’t come down until they know for sure!
Aww no you’re not bringing us down Don’t feel bad, we’re just all trying to support each other, aren’t we?
And yeah I think it is protection! Breaking up hurts them too and they’s scared of getting hurt again… So they put these defenses up to keep themselves from being hurt again.
I think my ex has just drummed it in his head that he’s not right for me. And can’t see past that at the moment.
I literally have no other option then to just stop, take a breath and start nc again…
Hrm I suppose so But if you stay consistent on working on yourself and becoming a better person, he can’t ignore it forever…
It’s disheartening when you hit a wall like this but don’t worry too much, there may be setbacks along the way but you can still get there It just might take a while sadly.
Don’t apologise! I was feeling this way out already today!
I just don’t understand that’s all! What we had was amazing, why is that not enough?
I really feel like I’m kidding myself and I should just get over myself and accept it! I don’t want to, I want him! So so bad and that’s what I’m afraid of, if I give up who is going to fight for us?
I know exactly how you are feeling. It’s not in my nature to give up on things, and he always told me it wasn’t in his either! That’s a load of bull.
I think we should just take some time, today is a write off, and pick ourselves back up again