Hey everyone! Umm…yeah so I my ex sent me a text last night. It’s 4AM now and for someone reason I decided wake up and check my messages. She said
“JON AND I BROKE UP” (I added the caps for effect).
Umm yeah wow. A little bit in shock. Two days ago I told her to only contact me if they broke up, and now they broke up…
Have to admit it’s a little strange. I almost do not believe her, but I want to believe her. Also very happy and scared right now.
Lol.
Congratz man! You dominated the post-relationship power struggle!
Now, you need to have a little bit of poker face. Don’t show your hand. Let her chase you. Well, she has to after all the shit she put you through. But anyway. You already know what to do. Be compassionate towards her. Say you’re sorry to hear that etc. But don’t fall into any of her traps. She will often ask you if there is any girl, if you love her etc. Say that past relationship is over and you guys are in a new place now. Just hangout, make conversation. She will eventually open up the idea of getting back together or let her actions speak for herself. RR says for the guy, sex should be the ultimate goal after a couple of dates to put the relationship back in Bliss stage so take care of that. Haha.
great news congrats 
now you have a choice if you want her back or not. keep it up your doing great.
So we’ve been texting this morning. She said they broke up because she had doubts and they both agreed it was not meant to be (typical rebound description). She also said he wasn’t romantic, didn’t consider her, and was selfish (my opposite).
She said she misses me and wants to see me.
I told her my previous invite to hangout still stands.
She said “this weekend?” Then “do you think it’s a good idea?”
I said the past is the past and I’d love to hangout.
Her- have you changed for the better? I’m nervous (had to hold my tongue because what did I wrong exactly?)
Me: I don’t think I can answer that, only you can decide. Why nervous?
Her: I don’t know we’ve been thru a lot.
I guess I just keep playing it cool. Try to make a date for this weekend. Right?
im so excited for you, your so lucky. anyways yes make a date with her. and if you still want her try to keep her this time. lol. do something that you know she will love. like they say think outside the box. good luck and keep us posted.
well we are meeting for a drink in a few hours. I tried to get her to come over for dinner, but she lives 1.5 hours away. details right? Going to meet her halfway. Wish me luck!
Lol @ “have you changed for the better? I’m nervous”
Good luck!
So it went well. We had a few drinks and some food. She talked a lot about this guy she just broke up with. How it was rushed, she couldn’t commit to him, he wasn’t the nicest to her, etc. I was getting a little tired of her complaining about the guy she jumped to after me.
I asked her what she wanted, did she want to just friends? She said yeah. I said I can’t be just friends with you. I want you and desire you, and that I am okay with hanging out and having fun, but not just friends. She said that’s fine.
She mentioned a lot how she wants to be alone right now. That she’s jumped from guy to guy way too much. I said that is probably for the best.
She also talked about coming over this weekend. Watching a movie together. Getting pedicure together again (yes I did that was pretty good actually). Just positive things to do together. She also dropped hints of going to a football or hockey game.
Towards the end of the night she was leaning close to me, laughing, talking. Good body language. However, no good night kiss, but we did hug twice.
wow sounds like you had a good time. im so happy and excited for you. I wish i had some outcome, lol keep it up. question so after everything said and done you still want her back? how do you
idk why it sent ugh lol *how do you feel about everything happening in general?
This is exciting! I am very happy for you.
Feels good but honestly just as nervous as starting NC. I mean we said our goodnights via text, and it’s another waiting game. I don’t want to reach out first, but she is the kind of girl who likes attention. She specifically complained the last guy never talked to her during the week and more or less used her for the weekend. I was never one to do that, but I can wait a day or two to contact her right?
yes let her look for you to not just a one way streak.
on and off texts this morning. Made plans to see each other on Friday. so far so good.
im so happy for you 
I hope everything goes well for you. keep us posted.
so we texted pretty much all day it was light and fun and flirty, but then at some point I mentioned cooking because she loved it when I cooked.so she said yay cooking I want to do that again and I said should take a class might be fun not referring to us specifically but maybe just her.
she then said when we need take things slow and that we’re just friends
I responded by telling her you know where I stand I can’t just be friends with you I want to be your lover partner and best friend. she said right now that’s not what she’s looking for that things have to go slow and we’ll see where they go. I told her I’m fine with that but I’m not just going to be friends as long as we’re honest with each other will be fine
so then we were texting for like another 4 to 5 hours and everything’s been fine so we’re still on for Friday but now she’s taking the train to me after work which is great because now we’re driving down together for our date, err “hangout” lol
im so happy for you. keep it up, you’ll be together in no time.
So we’ve continued to text, saying our good nights and good mornings to each other all week. However, a little while ago she told me that she has been talking to Jon (her recent ex-bf) here and there, and that they are going to remain friends. It sounded like she wanted to test my reaction. So I asked if they are trying to work things out and she said no they know they can only be friends and she wants to be alone right now. I thanked her for telling me. She said “you’re my friend duh”.
How should I feel about this? I’ve already told her I am not going to just be her friend. And yet we are talking a lot, A LOT more than just friends would I think. As much as we did when were together. We also have a date tomorrow, ice skating, dinner, and a movie. Those are not “just friends” activities. Am I looking too much into her “friends” comments?
shes definately testing you. that would annoy me so much.
no one wants to be alone so shes lying to herself if she really thinks that. i think by saying she wants to be alone, really that means she wants to feel confident and excited about the person that shes going to be with. she doesnt want to force anything.
i would play it cool and act like you dont care. the mentality of “relationship or nothing” may push her away. she needs to feel like shes won you… like youre something worth fighting for; so dont make it too easy on her to get you back. you may even want to not text or call her after your date. and maybe even go out with friends on a night out… always appear busy even if you have to lie.
theres a dating method called " the cat string theory"… which relates alot to human behavior. a cat will play with a string you dangle in front of it and try to catch it but as soon as you give the cat the string… it no longer has any interest in it. You need to be the moving string.
two months after my ex broke up with me, she came back and we went on a series of dates. To me, this was my second chance to get her back. We went out on well planned dates and i tried so hard to make sure everything was perfect. But i pushed too hard by holding her hand all the time, kissing her, and being to available. i was desperate to get her back and she made very little time for me “because she was busy”. But when someone really wants to see you… they will always make time to see you. and i couldnt live in the “middle ground or gray area” of are we together or not - like you right now. I finally confronted her and she said the spark and chemistry was gone. The only time I really got her attention was when she thought she was losing her chance to get back together.note that this girl once told me that she thought i was her soulmate.
so learn a lesson from my mistakes… play it cool and let her come to you.
Yeah my original plan was to play it cool. However she told me that the guy she just left wasn’t attentive to her, and when her and I were dating we reached a point after a few months where I would get mad at her constantly texting all day (transferring anger from her constantly talking about my ex) so we stopped texting during the days pretty much. So now I’ve been really aware of communicating with her and she says she’s seen a big change and is happy about it.
However yesterday she called me and broke down. Saying she wasn’t happy with her life, didn’t want to lead me on, and that her friends are saying don’t get back with me. I told her all I could do is prove to them I’m not the same person, and that if we (her and I) want to work it out, then it’s between us not them. I also told her that if there was no chance of us getting back together, then I would walk away now. I eventually got her to stop crying and feel somewhat better, but it was a tense moment.
Then last night she invited me out for drinks with her and some friends after work. I accepted and it was a fun time. We sat next to each other, made small talk between just the two of us, complimented each other. Then afterwards she had to take a train home and I was driving so we parted ways. Via texts on the way home, I thanked her for inviting me and she said “yeah I want you to see my friends ”. I said “oh really?”. Then she says “yeah I believe in us, slowly”. So that made me feel good. I have a feeling she will be testing me, and having me meet all her friends again to show them- I’m different? Good for her? Something I guess.