Mondays are the worst. I just want her to contact me. I keep checking social media of her friends which I know is not helping, but im desperate for a sign. Every photo she is in shows her so happy and smiling. With friends at football game or at a casino. It makes me regret breaking up so much.
I’ve read so many forum posts about getting back together. How ex’s realize and do it weeks or months later. I guess I am holding onto hope and thinking it will happen. I wish kevin had advice for what to do if the friendly reminder fails.
But if her pattern holds she will contact me in the next few days. She has each week for the past 7 weeks. One positive i guess, she’s not indifferent.
You should also look happy and smiling in all your pictures. But stop the stalking and try to be happy without her. It’s amazing that you don’t break nc and she still texts you! But, she also has to forgive you for breaking up with her in the first place and that takes time…
Hey,
I know we had similar situations… both of our ex’s are in a rebound. at least youve heard from yours. it might be good to know that she still feels the need to reach out to you. but then again, maybe its not - if she only talks about her new bf… thats got to be very painful. i texted my ex on her birthday and never even got a response back… but at least I know its over and dont have negative and hurtful reminders of her all the time.
What i came to realize is that sometimes in a broken up relationship… Hope can be a bad thing. It causes you to hold on even when things look horrible and doesn’t allow you to move on with your life. i keep reminding myself all the time - hope isnt enough to hold on to the “what if she comes back” scenario.
break ups are horrible and it really sucks in every single way.
Yeah she has contacted me a lot since the break up. Some of it was okay (neutral at best) and some of it was very negative. Her last message is running through my head “Sorry for being so bitter towards you in the end”…THE END. That right there is closure on her part. Not being bitter “lately” or “recently”, but “the end”. the end of our relationship? The end of our communication?
she’s blocked on social media, so she can’t see me and I can’t see her…(unless I look at her friends). Maybe I need someone to change my passwords and not tell me them.
just want to know the next step here…reach out? keep up NC? fear is a motherf*cker and is driving my thought process. Do I have a chance? Do I blow it by acting like I don’t care? Am I helping my chances by doing nothing since she has a boyfriend now?
I guess the best advice is to focus on myself, which means NC, and whatever happens will happen.
I thought I was stronger than this. 2 weeks of full NC for me, but a little while ago I made the decision to unblock my ex on facebook based on reading some advice that blocking shows instability and weakness. I only hear what I want to hear apparently… bad idea on my part.
she has been posting like crazy these past two weeks. her and her friends. her and her boyfriend. obviously none of it to make me jealous or anything- she was blocked. just her being happy and moving on. i feel like I’m back to square one. all messed up. i blame myself for ending it and not thinking straight 8 weeks ago. i promised myself I was done shedding tears for her, but that’s not true.
I want her to suffer. why does she get off scot-free? I was so polite and cordial after the b/u. she was awful to me. i deserve so much better, but i still love her. i’m stuck and paralyzed with this pain and fear and she is out having a great time. I lost my best friend because of her. And I lost her because of her. I really want to write her a nasty letter or email. She doesn’t get to hurt me and then write a half-assed apology weeks later.
My ex is in a rebound and I don’t think a letter would do anything other than make me look weak in her eyes. Unless they are reaching out in a positive way, it doesn’t really make sense. They are cold and bitter now. Almost like they forget they ever loved us.
Ever since I texted my ex happy birthday and never heard back I fell back into a little slump: thinking about her more often, and waking up in the middle of the night with anxiety.
up and down. the hardest part has been not re-reading emails or checking facebook (i had a friend change my passwords so i can no longer even check). I am glad how i handled the break up, after initially begging, i stopped and never showed I wanted her back (even if she guessed i wanted her back). I never called her names or anything. I can at least feel good about that. i have no expectations of her contacting me again. its been a week since she sent me any messages. If she does ever reach I am going to be very clear with her- i don’t want to be friends. I want you has a lover and girlfriend, if you can’t do that right now then okay I am going to do my own thing. best of luck.
So its been almost two weeks since my ex contacted me. I spent the weekend in Nashville TN and I got to talk with mother, brother-in-law, and sister about my ex. This was really the first time in 8 weeks that I was able to speak in person about the break up. Overall it felt good to share and get their side of it. I was able to see a lot of the crazy things I justified during the relationship that were not healthy and that deep down I knew did not make her for me. My family also got a bad vibe from her based on comments she had made about my family and how she acted around me. To hear them say she is not a good person and she is crazy and that I dodged a train wreck helped a lot.
I’ve been better these past days, thinking about her a lot less. I’ve felt this must be where she is or was emotionally, kind of numb and thinking to the future. BUT I do still miss her and its not easy to hold those two feelings at once
I also still have a lot of pent up anger towards her. Specifically for what she did post break up- her rebound situation and her hate towards me and nasty messages. I told my family if she contacts me again I would respond, but they strongly argued against doing that. I’m still undecided on that front, but I expect her to contact me again, why else apologize to me?
Let another month pass and you may not want her at all anymore. You are doing well, and yes, I do believe that you deserve an apology but instead of waiting for it, I suggest that you forgive her and forgive yourself. It’ll make you feel better. Work on lessening that anger. Anger only hurts you. I know you miss her and probably still want her back, but maybe she wasn’t good enough for you as your family stated. Sometimes, we are blinded by love and infatuation.
You are already getting better, why not just continue nc?
thats good, just keep focusing on you. unfortunately its a roller coaster ride but you will becoming stronger from this and will become a better you. as time passes you will miss her less and less. do you still want her back?
aamls- it’s a tough question to answer which shows how far i’ve come from nervously planning on contacting her to win her back weeks ago. Part of me does and part of me does not. I think I want closure more than anything. Enough random texts from her whether they are angry or apologetic.
Bguarino, if you are already thinking that you don’t want her back than that’s a sign that you shouldn’t ignore. But it’s possible that you need more answers from her…or is it that you want her to apologize? Think about it, what is it that you want?
It’s constant up and down. I remember bad times and good times. I see reminders everywhere but I don’t react as strongly. I want her to contact me again above all else. To know she is still thinking of me. I want the chance to respond- either another attempt to get back or for closure.
I’m planning a move across the country for a fresh start. Its exciting and scary, the only doubt I have is “what if she” wants to see me, talk (I’d lose my work phone and current cell#), get back together, whatever. Stuff that couldn’t happen if I moved.
