the five step plan may not work sometimes (this is what I get for not re reading what I wrote) lol.ugh
Thanks. Yes I’m in deep NC now- all mutual friends unfollowed in Instagram. She is blocked in text, google, and all apps (including Facebook). I’ve never even addressed her new bf, just wished her the best each time she lashed out.
Its really over and I know that. No matter how conflicted or angry she is, or if she still has feelings for me, she won’t change her mind unless things go bad with the new guy. She so wants to be happy that she will endure almost anything if she thinks it will work. Goes back to her rough childhood and young adult years.
There is so much unprovoked anger in her messages. If I post a photo of myself and it draws that reaction from her, ending in threatening a restraining order, there are unresolved issues.
So at this point unless she calls me there is no way for her to reach me or me to see anything about her.
So I read Kevin’s 5 signs your ex still loves you and mine has shown 4 of 5 (all but drunk dialing).
How does this mix with her new boyfriend? I would like Kevin’s view…if possible. 
stay strong. your doing well. even if it takes longer for you, if you get her back at the end, its what matters. you can do this im starting to think that what you were saying to me was right. do you mind reading my latest posting. im so depressed, ugh this is so hard. 
I wish Kevin would read my story as well.
I think its definitely over. thanks
I’m just so mad at her and feel so awful about myself. I have no idea the reason for all her hateful words. It hurt so much I can’t even think about dating anyone else. Completely destroyed my confidence. It’s been 6 weeks since we broke up, and she won okay? When we fought that is how she would say it was over “you win you win”. Well this time she won. she moved on and found someone instantly. Why does she have to keep harassing me? Why add me to snapchat- either she was going to send me photos or see my photos that’s the f-ing point of that app. Why get so mad at a photo of me?
I thought I was okay thinking that she is showing emotion so it’s a good thing, there is hope, but she is so angry. How in the world could I ever take her back? Is that her goal to make me hate her so that it never happens?
So going on week 7 since BU and one full week of NC, no harassment from my ex.
I am trying to heal and move on. Had a therapy appt. over the weekend, was okay, didn’t help that much. Therapist called my ex crazy, but everyone on my side does. Last night I dreamed we were back together doing something together. During the dream I knew it wasn’t real but it felt good.
I know she was feeling guilty for what she did, how she officially ended it. Her last words were “I don’t want to feel bad” , then the next day " I no longer feel bad". Yeah as if I believe after 6 weeks if you feel bad one more day will change that.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she reaches out eventually. Either to hurt me or see where i stand. I’m not waiting on it, talking to a girl from a dating site, but taking it slow. Feels strange and I’m deathly afraid of ruining it by moving to slow, not showing enough interest, etc.
your doing so good for yourself. good for you. keep doing this. it’ll only make you feel better. keep going to the sessions it may or may not work but at least you’ll let your feelings out and you can get tips from a professional. if this one doesnt work then look for another one till you find one that helps you with your problem. dont worry about taking it slow with this girl. if this is what you need then do it. either she understands or hey theres others. do what feels right and screw everyone else. you got this and are doing great. be proud and stay strong.
Therapy won’t work in just one session. You have to establish a rapport with them first, get comfortable and then get some use of it. We won’t be of any good to our partners if we aren’t whole as an individual. So, work on yourself, try to do things that make you happy and actually go be happy. I am trying to do the same by traveling and forcing myself to just be out there.
You are a great guy, you deserve better. If she doesn’t understand your worth, it’s her fault.
Go on your dates and just have fun! What’s the worst that can happen?
she probably does still hurt and miss you deep inside (that would be the cause of the hurt) i think shell reach out to you eventually. ive been with some pretty stubborn women and all of them got in contact with me again sometime after our break ups. some of them my doing some of them their.
could you give me your opinion on my situation?
https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/so-i-broke-no-contact/
Should I try something like the magic letter in a few weeks?
how long has it been since you spoken to her? you need to be careful with the time frame.
Spoken words- 5 weeks. Last email or text from her was 8 days ago.
I am not really even thinking of doing it to try to get her back. I was curious what that letter even was based on someone else’s post, and just read about it.
I know she is hurting and cannot stand reminders of me right now. Not sure how the letter would effect her since they say to use it when the ex is “indifferent”. That’s mainly why I would send it, to see her reaction.
It might be slightly vindictive in doing that, but she has caused me a lot of pain. Killing her with kindness has been my strategy from day 1 and this seems like it would fit in.
if you think you should then by all means. but are you trying to get her back?
Give us a little update…about how you are feeling and how you think she’s doing…
I am still completely messed up inside. Cried like crazy on Monday after having a dream about her. But overall I am trying to distract myself. I have been going to crossfit, running (lost 15 lbs. so far), watching a lot of TV and movies to distract myself.
I’ve been texting a girl I met online for about a week. I told her today that I just left a relationship and need to take things slow. I was worried I was taking it too slow without telling her why. I mean how long can you just text right? I want to ask her out to do something, but each thing I think of reminds me of my ex since we did so much together and I put so much effort into our first dates. Anyways her reply was “you seem awesome” and to text her when I am over this girl.
How is my ex doing? A week ago she was angry, so angry at me over a photo. I know it was over more, and the photo was the trigger, but still. She really hurt me with her words. She was nothing but polite for a few weeks and then I sent the friendly reminder of me (part of the system) and it went downhill. It’s probably guilt on her part, but I think she is over me. She is focusing on the negative things after 7 weeks since I left her.
I know she is going to a casino this weekend with friends. I was originally invited and somehow still get access on facebook to the event. I don’t see her on the event because she is blocked, but the most recent update is that she might be going with her new bf (based on her friend’s comments). So in essesence I would be replaced if that happened. It doesn’t upset me. Just like her bragging about having sex with her bf didn’t hurt me. Her mean words about me as a person hurt because it shows she has no interest in being friends (after adding me to snapchat to be friends, makes zero sense).
Also two of her former roommates and friends have been commenting on and liking my instagram photos. I unfollowed her friends, but a few still follow me it seems. Means nothing because I doubt they have a clue what transpired in and since our break up.
thanks for asking Travel
I think you should give her a little more time to simmer. I don’t how long but long enough to remove all the negative feelings with the breakup and long enough to realize that the new bf is a rebound.
There’s hope as long as you want to still be with her.
Don’t worry about what her friends do, it really doesn’t matter.
She contacted me again. This time on an app called Viber, wifi calling and texting, that her and I used a few times when she traveled once. I didn’t even remember it was installed on my phone.
She said “Hey I just wanted to let you know that I dont hate you and I am not mad at you. Sorry for being so bitter towards you in the end. I downloaded this back for Jon because he is away and I saw that you were still on here”
I read those messages and uninstalled the app.
Good going. Just ignore that message and if getting messages from her is holding you back, just tell her to not do it. I wish I had told my ex when he contacted me, so that it would have been on my terms.
hey how is everything going with you?
Hanging in there. Feel stronger then get setbacks such as an occasional dream of my ex which causes me to wake up in a state of panic/sadness or her contacting me.
Still not ready to date, told a girl I was talking to I wasn’t ready because I don’t want to be that type of person. Coworker is trying to set me up with her very cute niece which has perked my interest/caught my attention/distracted me lol.
Trying to focus on myself, but it is hard with the weekend approaching. We used to spend weekends together 100% and even filling in small time slots with chores or the gym still leave huge gaps of loneliness.
At least she keeps contacting me, which means I am on her mind, and I’m keeping up NC and my distance. Logically I cannot believe she will stay with someone she met 1 week after our B/U. Eventually the newness will wear off and her anger at me will subside. The ball is in her court.
thanks for asking