-
Posts
-
oh sorry to hear that @Dopierk :/ know trying to get over someone gives you the whole break up feeling and everything all over again.
At least you tried to go on a date! I haven’t been on any dates that gave me the comfortable kind of natural feeling i had with my ex either. Most aren’t awkward but it isn’t that lets talk all night connection.
Of course I’m all down for moving on, but if its something you really want the hail marry pass is still an option. Wouldn’t suggest it but you know throwing yourself out there on last time in the right way could really star up his emotions (in person). Good to not talk during the holiday, def will be overlooked or either of you might be too busy, and if emotions get thrown in the mix it’ll mess up your family time. Its okay to let yourself ball out and cry though so don’t feel bad about it 🙂 i wish you didn’t have to but its a release still. You could of course meet someone down the road who will give you those good feelings again but in the time being don’t feel bad about still wanting your ex back, especially since you aren’t in a new relationship or anything, just let this week pass. I think the next text should be something more direct. How long has it been since you’ve been in contact again? like 3 weeks?
@mosis – We had no contact for a week. Once he found out about my dog, he called me 1 week after we broke up. Then we saw each other two weeks after the breakup. Officially got back together 3 weeks after the break up. He told me he would have reached out either way, not just cause of the dog (he told me about a week after the break up he realized he wanted me back…). I know there’s no way to know, but curious to see how that would have went down…
He knew I was with another guy (date and hookup) during our little 1 week break. I finally got him to tell me he was with another woman too. Nothing crazy, just went out for a few drinks and they hooked up (no sex). Made me jealous, but I did the same thing… I wonder if that’s what made him realize his love for me? Being with another woman and knowing I was with another man? How does the male brain work? ha.
Also, I don’t think giving her the key chain is a bad idea! Is she the “gift giving” type? Meaning, does she like receiving gifts? Either way… wait til you get back from your vacation. No contact until then!
@dopierk – everything you’re feeling is definitely normal. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I don’t blame you. It’s okay to be sad right now. You need to cry it out NOW and you’ll feel better later. I’m surprised he didn’t message back, but need to focus on today and not the past. That’s so important (and also hard to do). One thing I learned is try not to have any expectations. You’ll be surprised how many good things come up when you don’t expect them to. Try to stay positive and you’ll send out good energy into the universe!!@Cindyyv – don’t reach out yet. Too soon. I agree with dopierk, calling him out will only push him away. Make him see you’re easy to lose. If he’s with another girl then you need to let him do that… she’s most likely a rebound. Focus on you!
@cindyyv yeah don’t reach out, trying to stop that relationship or talking negative to him about will likely make it last longer and add more value, unfortunately just have to wait it out. Sounds like typical advice but you really do have to let it go for awhile and focus on you, short term discomfort but it works much better than chasing, especially chasing a guy. Men def don’t react the same way to chasing as women, its more of an ego boost for him and makes you look bad.
@ras217 yeah she likes gifts, she is very into souvenirs and stuff like that but i got back from vacation few days ago little early because thanksgiving, finally replied to her about sending some money few days but that was it. Before i left to vacation i mentioned meeting up she said it was too soon, which i agree but i got caught up in the moment because we was having a good conversation. So on those bases i was trying to decide to just send the money with no strings attached with the gift or maybe if we talk and meet up later in December give it to her then mention i got it when i was in LA for her. She is still in a relationship, my friend is saying its not very serious relationship to her still mainly just doing it for company so I’m still having to wait that out and could take a few months. But since she has been in the relationship she still has been open talking, as long as he isn’t around. Sometimes when he is, so I’m not really feeling too threatened by itHi everyone,
I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving weekend.
it’s been two weeks since I texted him. I think I’m going to text him on Thursday this week, something more direct but friendly, something it will be impossible for him not to reply to.
I’m feeling SO MUCH BETTER THOUGH. I haven’t cried in like 5 days, which is like a record since we broke up. I think about him 10 times less than I did. I feel like I’m FINALLY in a good place.
If he doesn’t respond to this message, I’m telling him about the stuff of his I have, dropping it off with him and moving the hell on. I can’t do this to myself anymore. I want him back still, but I feel like this is it for me. If I don’t get some interest from him this week, I’m going back into NC permanently. At least I tried. The world is still standing. And I will find love one day.
@Dopierk how has it gone?
Hey guys… need someone to bring me back down to Earth.
Things with the BF have been great. Really great. And my anxiety has been slim to none this time around too.
Trying not to be insecure right now but I feel emotional.
I’m getting a procedure done tomorrow on my cervix. Standard procedure but nervous.
The BF and I spent all day (and weekend) together and he left around 5 to do laundry. And we talked about having dinner together. We said maybe we’d order in, then decided to just make food I already have.
He said he’d call when he was outside… Then 2 min later asked if I was okay with him staying at his place tonight so he could get an early start.He was pretty open about it. Said he wasn’t ditching me but when we were talking earlier about a friend who “felt like a loser” cause he didn’t have a job, he said it reminded him he needs to kickstart his job and be the best he can be. So he said he just wanted to get some work done and get an early start.
He said he’d call me later tonight, tomorrow AM and wants me to call him before my procedure tomorrow. Said he loved me.
I can’t help but feel sad now. Wondering he ever planned to come back over. If it is just about work. Is he doubting us? Help!!!
I WILL say I’m really working to control my anxiety. And I’m doing a great job. But right now I feel myself slipping!
Mosis, …no. I don’t know what to say to him. ideas??
Ras, I think you are just nervous about your procedure and freaking yourself out. Just take a deep breath and relax. Maybe he just needs some space tonight, you guys just spent the whole weekend together. Don’t over think this. It sounds like you guys are doing fine.
I think you’re right, @dopierk. Thank you. I know he has a tendency to change his mind a lot…. he told me last night when he says he’s gonna do something, he’s gonna do it. Sometimes I get scared he’ll change his mind about us again.
What is the last communication you’ve had with your ex?? Maybe just be open with him and ask if you guys can get together. Tell him you have some of his things and you’d like to see him.
Yea, you’re going to have to let the past go. You can’t live in fear that he is going to break up with you again. You’ll feel insecure and awful all the time.
The last communication we had was still the stupid turkey text I sent last month. It’s been about 22 days. Crazy. I’ve been out of town for Thanksgiving and I’ve been dealing with some really difficult personal situations, so I had to put texting him on the back burner for a while. I didn’t need the added stress of communicating with him.
I really would love to text him and tell him I have his stuff and see if we can meet up. But I fear that will scare him even further away. I just don’t know. I wish there was a way I could accidentally run into him. I feel way more confident talking to him in person that via text. But I don’t know how to make this happen.
You’re right. We’ve broken up twice. Towards the end of the first breakup I was extremely anxious. However my anxiety was real because I knew things seemed off. Which they were, hence the second break up. But that’s no way to live. What’s the point of being with him if I’m always anxious? This time around I’m much more grounded. A part of because I’m stronger but also by the way he’s acting. I just hope this sticks. For good this time.
Did you guys ever talk on the phone? What about calling him? Calling is almost as good as seeing someone in person. Txts can be impersonal. I’m sorry you’ve been going through so much. I know how that feels. You’re going to get through this no matter what tho!!
I wish you guys the best!
We did talk on the phone occasionally. But he really hates talking on the phone. So, he would really hate it if I called him out of the blue. I’ll just try and think of a good, harmless text. I’ll post it tomorrow and maybe you can give me some feedback?
It’s been a really tough second half of 2015. Break up, major sickness and lots of other personal issues. I’m just really ready for 2016.
dang 22 days, time is flying so fast its crazy. I don’t know if its just being in an emotional state makes 1 month feel like one week sometimes because you are kind of mental stuck in a place and time. But idk it sounds like texting is the option even though its little more impressionable maybe something simple would work, let us know what you come up with 🙂
and @Ras217 def would suggest working on letting the past go, as it is difficult but you have another chance you have to try really hard and view it as something new not using the past as a reference point because it’ll just continue to put you in a place of fear and he will eventually noticed that and possibly start questioning things. Maybe just do the keep it open and honest route since y’all are actually together 🙂 its fair thought to feel anxious but you either choose to be in fear or to be happy so go with happy and give yourself a gamble again letting the guard down little bit
What about this?
“Hey, I heard on the radio Blink 182 is coming out with a new album in 2016. You must be so excited right now. I hope you are doing well.”
I’m not sure about the wording of this but I think this is something he could respond to. He loves this band and this news just dropped today.
I think that sounds fine 🙂 the only other thing i guess considering is stuff like smileys or exclamations in the sentence. like
Hey, I heard on the radio Blink 182 is coming out with a new album in 2016. You must be so excited right now 🙂 . I hope you are doing well.
but i think in general thats a good conversational text i hope her replies to it!
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.