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Ras217,
I’m so so to hear that he broke up with you again. 🙁 That’s devastating. How are you coping this week? Have you talked to him more this week?
If you need to vent, I’m here.
I’m definitely going through an extremely tough time. Maybe one of the toughest. I have so many questions. Did he ever see a future with me? Did he string me along? I have so much I want to say to him.
Today, I did something stupid, I went on his facebook and saw he removed all of our pictures from his timeline. Didn’t untag himself, just removed them so no one else can see them.
I’m so confused. hurt. shocked. ashamed.
Wow. I can’t believe him. I feel like he has commitment issues. And he doesn’t know how to work through problems…
How come you think he has commitment issues/doesn’t know how to work through problems? Just curious from a completely outside party. And it helps to hear other people say it.
I need to go no contact. It’s the only option. Right?
He texted me happy birthday yesterday… I just deleted it. Didn’t respond.
Well it’s just that you’ve broken up a few times now. He just seems to bolt when every things get hard.
Oh my gosh, yesterday was your birthday? I hope you were surround by friends and family yesterday and had a good day in spite of this.
Yeah, this was our third breakup in a year. He also bolts when things start to feel settled… every 3 months.
It was okay… had a great time with friends. But completely broke down when I got home.
How are you doing with your situation? Any words of wisdom?
Hey sorry i been super busy moving! but i was saying i don’t think he will come back i guess out of pride. Or hopefully he just decides he is done playing games with you because what he is doing SO FAR out of lines.
Don’t think it is anything you are even doing, Dopier is right, he has commitment issues. He likely wants the company of a relationship but not the responsibility to care about someone else and make those compromises. So the smallest problem he bolts, or if things are going TOO good he bolts. Which is clearly an issue with him, one that i don’t think you can fix. Or at least if you try it will take a lot of heart ache doing so.
Def go no contact.
Its easy for him to focus on work, and things of that nature, because its very binary unlike a relationship he has to put in time and effort to care about you, and i think you don’t demand very much at all but like she said its a commitment issue with him. And bringing up how he has basically screwed over another girl in the past i guess was his way of justifying it and trying to get you to understand thats just who or how he is.
Well it’s the beginning of week 2 and definitely not getting any easier.
I had a dream that he called me. Woke up feeling beyond excited.
All I want to do is call him. But I know I can’t. I wonder if he’s even thinking twice about me…
Two weeks flew by. I think you just have to remind yourself to have strength and the fact that as the time goes on the pain will get less and less if you just stick to it. You won’t forget him likely but you will be able to live with what’s happened and be able to make rational decisions. Just try to stay strong and for all things holy stay away from social media creeping it’s prolly the biggest killer as you know.
Well it’s been one week, but this is the start to week 2…
Yeah I was actually thinking about deactivating my Facebook. However I’m just staying off it either way.
So I know this sounds crazy… but I went and got my tarot cards read today. Not gonna lie the reading was extremely accurate.
She said…
He does love you and care about you. He can’t give you what you want because he’s troubled because of something from his childhood. She said he was “sick”.He was holding you back. You want to travel and explore. And could leave at the drop of a dime. He can’t.
Close the old doors. Deep down you knew something was bad.
You will meet a tall, dirty blonde, and blue eyed man in July.
Go out and dance with guys – you’re dancing off negative energy. Let them buy you drinks.
Be open to new things.
This is the year to get centered and find yourself.
Start enjoying yourself at work.
New transitions will be coming.Get out of your head.
Kinda crazy right? It made me feel better. But still missing him. However the anxiety isn’t as extreme right now…
Heyras217 how you dealing with everything?
I’ve been working with my ex again for about a week now. I’m Kinna wanting to ask her to hangout but idk. When I first came back last week she ignored me basically the first day. But we been really friendly lately and she hangs around with me off the clock a lot when she could just go home or go somewhere else in the work area so I’m Kinna getting mixed signals. She ask me a lot of details about my life even though she was basically ignoring me the past 4 months, but I don’t want to have a bunch of micro conversations rather just sit down somewhere and talk a few hours. But other than that it’s been cool , def think she is still in a relationship though
Hey mosis…. I’m not going to lie it’s been rough. A lot of confusion and wondering what went wrong. But I’ve been reading articles about commitment phobia and avoidant attachment. It all makes sense now and I know there’s nothing I did…
I was feeling upset because it had almost been a month since we broke up and I hadn’t heard from him. But he called me the other day. Left a voicemail. Was wondering how I was doing…… I didn’t answer. For a few reasons. I felt happy he called. Empowered too. But mad cause he thinks he can just walk in and out of my life at any time. I haven’t called him. Not sure if I will. What do you think I should do?
Sounds like your ex is trying to feel you out. Maybe she’s waiting for you to say something? Do you get the vibe she’s interested?
hey ras217 🙂
Yeah i feel you. Its pretty expected that you would go through that, its never easy. But you did great by not calling him. Even though its prolly great temptation to do so, i would suggest you continue to not talk to him, because it will relapse you. Would hate to see that happen because it sounds like it been rough but you are getting better and eventually come into a good place.
Also you are right, can’t let him continue to break your heart and think he can come in and out as he pleases like that. Thats his problem not yours, its only your problem it you enable him. Just keep doing what you are doing it sounds like you are coming to a good place 🙂 who knows you might not even want him eventually, or if you do you won’t NEED him and he might change seeing how strong you are with respecting yourself.
and with my ex, since i posted i through a party that she came too. basically everyone we work with. we had a lot of fun, and we talked for like 3 hours alone from 2-5, about life, our past relationship. She randomly told me during the convo she is happy with the guy she is with, who i know, we used to be friends. But i haven’t came onto her or anything. I have refused to talk about why I came back, and its kind of to wait it out and see if we workout. She said she only read that letter I sent her recently, the one i sent in December. She wanted to know if I still feel that way, and she generally keeps talking about how much she knows me. Like I said though I never talked about pursing a relationship with her.
She said she doesn’t want to text/call each other because she is afraid she will be attracted to me again. So she went out of town 4 days, and before that we hung out, just after work though not actually going out. But before she left out of town she asked me to hang around so we could eat lunch, and she brought her son. Feel like she brought him to see me, but it was really fun. The boy really missed me, gave me a bunch of hugs, we all ate together, and played around like playing chase and even wrestling on the ground haha But it got I guess emotional again for her because her son who is 3, kept asking if I could go home with them.
So all in all, I think there is def something there and she misses me and our connection but she is still in a relationship. I saw it on her face though while I was with her son she looked pretty spaced out in her thoughts, like hurt and confused. So I was thinking maybe when I see her again just ask her to talk? and let her know I’m not trying to get end her relationship and i just wanna be cool friends and respect that. Which is slightly true, I don’t wanna break the relationship so I can win, i rather do it right.
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