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Thanks mosis. 🙂
He’s definitely still learning the balance. Sounds to me, past girlfriends couldn’t handle his work/traveling. I may be the first. But he has a tiiiiiny bit of adjustments for me. Trick is he’s not gonna learn by me bitching at him. It’s gotta come from him. Any tips to help him learn how to balance?
Ever heard of the book Quantum Love? I’m reading it now. Google
It! Could help us all. Haha.I mean I can’t say exactly because I don’t fully know his character. But I think the best route is to vocally support his work efforts and talk about work more for awhile and see how he reacts to that. He will likely be excited to come to you to talk about it and him more often and that will lead to the open line of communication where you can drop your request for the things you want him to do more but not coming off as nagging or attacking and I’m sure he will reply to that positive. But yea bitching will def make work look more appealing and you less likely, we tend to run away from what’s causing us stress and work will eventually do that for him haha
Ras, so you never see your bf during the week at all?
Yea, I texted him last night and we talked back and forth a few hours. I think everything is better. The booty call is in the past. I doubt I’ll see him this weekend because of Valentine’s but that’s ok.
Not always, the past few weeks, he’s reeeeeally been working hard during the week. He’s a business man, ya know? Owns all his own businesses and has 3 of them going. I get it… it just means that I need to fill my time with stuff that I’m passionate about.
I like mosis’s idea and just 100% support him. Men don’t want to feel like they are being scolded or they HAVE to do something. The key is to guide them in by being happy and fun. 😀
I’m glad things are better!!! Valentine’s is a hallmark holiday anyway. 😉
Same BS as before. He reacts so quickly. He started the convo with “when we talked about timelines” (about a month ago at a wedding). Ummm… the only thing we talked about was that I had NO timeline and just wanted to be happy. Basically he said he’s not ready for a long term thing. Makes no sense.
We were together a year. He was already in a long term relationship and NEVER pressured him. Ever. I don’t believe in ultimatums.
So what did you do after that? I mean it’s only hours later I’m guessing you haven’t talked yet. It sounds like a bs excuse to me, and like he isn’t being honest about the real reason. Especially since it’s right at valentines where people who aren’t really into a relationship often break it off, because they are expected to show a higher level of affection and the pressure of faking it weighs down. But the excuse is bs and it sounds like he just doesn’t wanna say the truth. I also agree ultimatums are kind of relationship killers
I was in complete shock. He didn’t really show me any signs. Even tho I was feeling off this last week. I chalked it up to me overthinking. When really I was right. Towards the end of the breakup I got angry. Told him he was a liar and he never loved me. The last thing he said was that he cares for me so deeply but it just isn’t the right time for him.
An hour before we were out shopping cause he wanted to buy me a coffee maker and magic bullet for my birthday. And everything was fine.
He was engaged once and broke it off a month before the wedding. And he’s told me he broke up with someone else twice before.
Just sounds like he has a lot Of personal issues, which was pretty apparent with the whole work situation but if you are willing to work it out no one can really tell you other wise. But it sounds like he has a lot of personal issues to deal with and its up to you to choose if you are willing to keep yourself hooked on the line or not. You could do the usual don’t contact, give space, all that. But it isn’t really normal behavior for a guy to keep doing that and getting cold feet all the time with multiple people just shows he hasn’t done much changing over the years, or hasn’t been hit with the right motive. Are you going to try to talk it out with him or what was it you had planned next? I imagine you don’t really have a plan and still soaking it all in
I don’t expect he’ll be back this time. But a small part of me still hopes. Which is bad because I’m showing him that it’s okay to come and go. The second things start feel good/settled he bolts.
I don’t know what there is to talk about? Besides one closure convo but even then… Not sure if that would help.
All I want is to erase everything and move forward. It’s so hard for me to think positive right now. I thought he was the one. Hard for me to picture having the love for him for someone else. Makes me sick that he’s gone.
Yea I don’t think he would be back, if he did it wouldn’t be any time soon. Maybe if you cross paths in the future.
But the best course really is to move forward, and it won’t be easy for a long time of course to get the image out of your head he’s the one but it isn’t healthy. You really deserve someone who knows they want to be with you and doesn’t make you feel like you can be cut off at any moment.
I wouldn’t even waist the time on a closure conversation because it’ll do more harm than good. And you basically have the closure you need, you know how he really is and his nature and you gotta decide if you can live with that or not.
If you really want to move on its best to start getting rid of the reminders of him, your heart and mind won’t catch up till later but the physical reminders will just keep you stuck
How come you think he wouldn’t be back?
It’s so hard for me to grasp what’s actually happening. He was crying and talking about how he reacts so quickly. It’s clear to me he’s afraid of something. I don’t what though.
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