Is it over or is he freaking out?

[Dopierk]

Also, side note… how do you nicely tell a guy you are no longer interested in going on a date with them?

I started talking to this guy the other day online, I mostly was just looking to boost my confidence by going on a date, but he’s really starting to irritate me and honestly I don’t think we have anything in common the more I learn about him…

He’s making me miss my ex even more. Not good. How do I kindly decline?

[mosis]

Honestly with guys there is no nice way to delcline lol he s prolly looking for a small emotional connection with a big physical hook up, just have to say you aren’t ready or you aren’t interested because you have too much going on, anything you say will make him stop but not go away unless you. Are SUPER rude

[Ras217]

You’re right, @dopierk. I’m going to just “be” and see what happens next. : )

And yes, like I said… Try to remain positive. When he does respond (which he will) you’ll naturally feel at ease and positive. And he’ll remember all the awesome things about you.

How to decline a date: be honest. I know it sucks being honest sometimes cause you don’t want to hurt his feelings, but it’s the best policy. In the end if the person is honest you feel more respect from them.

I might be in the same situation… that guy I went out with a few days after my ex and I broke up asked me out a few days ago (this was before I was back with the ex).

My guy still can’t believe I went out with someone right away. Ha. Oops.

[Tsgereda88]

Please help me

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months, his only 22 and very stubborn, I am also his first girlfriend and I am 27 years old.

The only time we ever get into a fight and start having problems is when I get drunk, he is not a drinker and I am I don’t drink every day but when I do I can pretty much drink half a bottle of vodka straight. Which leads me to fight with him and say very hurtful things to him, such as I’ve done better then you, I can do so much better then you, you’ve got no job, no car I have more then you etc. his reaction in the past was to walk away and he won’t talk to me unless I reach out ( the longest we went with out talking or seeing eachother is 3-4 days.)

This time , he handled it differently, he ripped a birthday card he got for me and I through a promise ring he got me in his face he picked it up and put it in his pocket and refused to give it back.

The next day he sent me this message.

Thank you for all the time we spent together, believing in me, motivate me, and kept pushing me to be a better person.
I have learnt a lot just in 4months that I have been around you with unforgettable memories
Thx for loving me for who am and what I have
Thx for always be there for me anytime when I needed you
Thx for making me laugh
And I know you really loved me, BUT now it has come to an end of everything I felt the same way but you ain’t the type girl that I would live with for the rest of my life, four months it is a long time to study someone and actually even tell if she or he is the right person for you
Well now I have realised you ain’t one and there’s no point of wasting my time or yours on something that is gonna end anytime in the future , TRUST ME with that attitude and behaviour of yours, you need more than a luck to succeed in your life!
I can do sooooo much better, there’s so many fish in the sea.
Delete me in your life and you will be soo dumb if you talk to me again, go find yourself a Man that can actually pull up with your bullshit , good luck on that too.
Am moving on from now and I will never turn back and I hope I don’t miss you coz it will be the biggest turn off ever✌?️✌?✌?

I will drop your watch sometime next week✌️

So I didn’t reply at all I guess you can say I started the NC rule right away.

2 days after he sent that message he blocked me on Facebook( which by the way is set public)…. 3 days after blocking me on Facebook , he blocked me on snapchat.

I have not called or texted him since he sent me that message, it has been a week now.

His friend , sent me a friends request on Facebook , which I didn’t accept( not sure if my ex is trying to snoop but his pride won’t let him show his friend he still cares)’ oh it might be just his friend.

2 days after his friend tried to add me on Facebook , he sends me a snapchat add/follow.

I poste pretty sexy snapchats so I thought, I’ll just accept his friends on there so they can go running to him and show him how happy and hot I am (which my ex talks about all the time whilst describing me he says I look like a celebrity haha whatever that means )

Did I make a mistake by accepting them on snapchat, is the NC rule for his friends as well?? Please help me

P.s I still got all my stuff at my exes house not much but a few items.

[Dopierk]

Hi,

NC is just for the person you were in a relationship with. You should wait until after NC to get your stuff back from your ex. Try and breathe and let NC heal you. It will get better. I can tell you that much.

[Dopierk]

How would I go about contacting him about returning his t shirts/asking for a short, casual meet up?

[cindyyw]

@Dopierk
Just say you was cleaning up ur room and so help him to pack his thing up too. Dont let him know you purposely wanted to pack up all his things. He may think that you was really move on.

Just some casual talk like *can we meet up someday so I able to return your belonging to you*

[mosis]

hey @dopierk did you end up talking to him yet or still giving it time?

[mosis]

@cindyyw you prolly didn’t make a mistake accepting him, just isn’t safe emotionally i guess if you get caught up too deep in the show him what he lost game and start making mistakes

[Ras217]

Yes, we need an update!

As far as asking for the stuff back…. make it casual. I’d say something like “hey I was going through some stuff and found this and this of yours. Do you want to grab lunch and I’ll bring the stuff with?” Something light but to the point.

Let us know!

[mosis]

My ex messaged me about some money i owed her (she helped me pay for a ticket during the summer) i didn’t reply to it right away cuz i was sticking to not talking while i was on vacation. But she text our mutual friend of ours mad about me not responding because she thought i blocked her number. Which he said she also was mad about that too because he told her “idk he hasn’t talked to anybody since he left really” Ended up texting her back 2 days later just saying ill send her and her son some money this week for christmas gifts. her replies was very short though nothing i tried to really read into. Just “ok” and “Thank You”. Still on no contact though, not expecting any serious convos until my birthday prolly.

Are you and your ex getting more involved? @ras217

[Ras217]

@mosis The fact that she’s getting pissy that you’re not replying could actually be a good thing. 🙂 When you get back from vacation, do you have a plan?

My guy and I are definitely more involved. We saw each other Tuesday-Saturday. Things are back to the way they were. We had some very good talks Friday and Saturday night. I learned more about him and his past. It seems he’s acted in haste before. He said things with me are different tho and to not compare his past relationships with what we have. I know I am different. He says he can feel it and I can too. I’m letting him do most of the initiating. Feels good to have him “chase” me still, even tho we are back together. We aren’t spending thanksgiving together. Mostly because we both made separate plans with our families. That’s not weird, right? Haha.

All in all things are great. A small part of me fears he’ll “freak out” again but a big part of me feels this time is different. 🙂

[mosis]

thats so great 🙂 and how long did you go without talking again before all this?

I agree with him, because my ex and i was best friends she was really involved in my relationship before her, being the go to person to talk to. She compared the relationships ALOT and its hard to build anything with somebody shadow over you haha But he sounds like he is in the place he is suppose to be, you have to keep the chase and the “dating” even if you are technically together , sounds great 🙂 not spending thanksgiving together this year is actually a great move though haha Just to not move too fast jumping head first into it. Think if y’all are still good this time next year, or even other events in the future it’ll make it even more special. But he could very much go back into freak out mode, i don’t think he will personally but ya know its the gamble we make 🙂

and yeah idk her getting mad or still being mad slightly gets to me, but i just came back yesterday, and don’t really have any plans. Just sticking to not talking unless she reaches out, and working on me and stuff i have going on. Got her a gift (little key chain) because i used to get her a gift everytime i travel because i travel often, that i was going to send with the money but i kind of fee like its alittle much right now and the thought of me chasing her right now seems to not work and she will take it as me not being over the break up. So was thinking ill just hold off on it.

[cindyyw]

@Mosis @ras217 @dopierk

Sorry for posting here because I always read through ur guys comment and need some advice.

My story is here, I make it short, me and my ex know each other while we are in 14 years old and we couple in 15 years old for one year. The reason for breaking up was he is too playful. After highschool, In between we got 2 years didn’t see each other, didn’t even contact. But we bump to each other three year ago in university and so keep on contact after that. 2 years more ago we couple again and just break almost 2 month.

The reason that he wanted to break up is that he said I was too cuddle and sticky and controlling. I admit sometime I really over control. And he told his friend that he just need sometime to think and will find me back.

After break up I beg him for one month and now I keep the NC rule.

But now I figure out from someone that the main reason he break up with me is because he got another girl outside and they couple after our break up and the girl also just break up with his bf.

I texted my ex saying that

*Hey, hope things are well. Heard something and I jus wan to let u know that u are right. The breakup are definitely for the best. Wanted to say thanks for the all great time we spend together and I’ve learnt a lot in this relationship.

Your things I pack few week edy. See this two day when u are free come out for awhile and I pass it to you*

But three days after now he still haven replied.

I’m damn angry and sad right now. Should I call him and ask why he lie me and scold him up? How can I still win him back?

[Dopierk]

Hi Cindy,

I’m sorry to hear about your break up.

Unfortunately, calling him out on why he is behaving this way will only push him further away.

I would stick to NC if I were you and then reach out to him again in 30 or so days.

Ras, congrats. I’m thrilled for you. 🙂

Mosis, it’s a really good thing she was mad. It definitely still shows that she cares about you. I hope things get better around your birthday.

As for me… I don’t really have much of an update.

I sent my second text, the turkey inside joke. There was no response, like you know, and now I’m just waiting and trying to figure out what to say next, or if I should just fold and reach out to give back his stuff.

Either way I’m not texting him again until after Thanksgiving. I’m going out of state and he is going home to family. I’d be wasting my time texting him over a holiday weekend. My message would easily be overlooked.

I went on date tonight and it didn’t go so great. This pretty much sums up how I’m feeling:

The guy was really nice. He was very attractive, sweet, very much a gentleman. He will make some woman a very happy person one day. But not me. We had absolutely no chemistry and that’s the hard part.

The whole night just felt really forced. I know first dates are always kind of awkward, but we just didn’t seem to connect and I could tell he was feeling that same way too. It’s not easy for me to right away be myself to someone new, it takes me a little while to warm up to people. I’m an introvert. But just comparing it to my first date with my ex, our first date was so easy, so natural. Five minutes in, it felt like talking to an old friend. We just had this unspoken bond.

Once I got to my car tonight and started driving home, I started bawling my eyes out because it made me miss my ex even more.

I have never had such insane chemistry with someone like I did/do with my ex boyfriend.

I know there are plenty of guys out there and I am sure there are dozens of guys I’d have chemistry with like my ex, but it’s so hard to forget this one person. This one person that means SO much to me, this one person I want to be with more than anything.

Just feeling really down tonight. I know I’ll be fine without my ex. The last few days have actually been the most normal in a while in terms of feeling good. But I’m still not ready to let him go and I wish I didn’t have to…

[Author]

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