Will I ever in any way get her back?

Breakup Help reconciliation
81

-You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.(3 months in your situation)
22 days of NC currently.

-You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
I’m perfectly capable of doing everyday stuff, I eat right, I haven’t trained in a while though since I’ve been busy making connections with old friends, but I look healthy. And I’m happy.

-You have made a few positive changes in your life.
I’ve changed a lot, I don’t argue with anyone anymore, I don’t get angry, I respect peoples opinions, made some new connections, made connections with old friends and I’ve fixed my problems with the family which was a HUGE thing when I were together with my ex, abusive parents etc. And now all of that is settled.

-You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
I’m 100% sure this is a good idea, and it isn’t because I miss her or anything, I know the pros and cons, and I still want her.

-You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
I’ve talked to random girls, gotten a confidence boost, and I’m meeting some girl and her friends today not really attractive ones, but it’s only to make new friends etc.

-You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
-You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.
I’ve accepted the break-up and I know there isn’t that big of a chance to get her back, I’m pretty sure that I will be capable of handling it. But I still have hope, and I believe in myself and I know that I’m a total different guy, this isn’t my ego talking. This is true facts that other people has commented on too. Not in a million years would I just completely go up and start talking with random girls. I was in a state of “indifference” mind and I’m sure I can put the same game on when I meet up my ex. When she sees the new me I’m sure she’ll want to open up, and if she doesn’t then life goes on and there is nothing to do about it.

As for contact Vanessa, I’m not sure if today is a great day to contact her. Because I literally don’t know anything, if she wants to talk with me or not. I’m afraid that she will tell her mom that I have contacted her which might make things worse. There is no possible way to just “bump” into her or anything so it will be difficult getting contact with her if she doesn’t agree on meeting up… And it’s 22th day of NC so I might want to wait for 8 more days.

82

watching your progress is inspiring. i hope everything works out for you.

83

Hi good replies!
Now we need a proper way to contact her, I am worried about she will tell her mom too, but I believe if she wants to give this relationship a chance she won’t tell her mom who won’t support her:)
That’s why she needs mor time I think…to reset herself after brainwash…
Do u still remember what’s ur advantage for her? Make full use of it, I am sure she will miss it during NC:)

Good luck ! Keep us updated !

84

My advantages? Hmm, that I can make her smile I guess and laugh. She also loved my hair and cardigan sweaters. We still have each other on facebook. The thing is that I think it kind off set her off when I started unfollowing her on instagram, and then also deleting her on snapchat. Should I re-add her and re-follow?

85

@a.z any tips on what I should do next or how to contact her?

86

Anyone?

87

hey just text her at night, “i went to /saw /listened XX music XX that remind me of u”

88

You said you could make her laugh ,say something funny

89

Isn’t really that easy to make her laugh when I don’t know how she feels about me… It’s like almost every single fucking time she gets really sick she starts to act like this… EVERYTIME she has gotten sick she has done something like this. The drama, the fighting, almost exactly the same… I was going through some of the text in my notebook from march, and I realized that she has acted like this before, but then I acted in a whole different way, and things didn’t go as bad as this. I didn’t beg or anything, didn’t write her a long letter. I did give her roses and gifts, and even after that she had doubts, I got her back though. And things went smoothly until the cheating happened. Then everything went south. I love her, and I still want her back even after all of this. But I seriously hope that she can admit her mistakes too, or else I’m sure nothing good will come out of a reconciliation.

90

did she really apologize for her dramatic crazy thing?
yeah you are right maybe the cheat thing make things hard…
she probably thought the cheat thing is not comparable with her behaviour at all …
I think you can plan a since convo after get back together.
take things slowly, make her back is the first step…
during the NC she might realized her immature action…

91

*sincere conversation

92

Yes, she did apologize and she told me she wasn’t thinking clearly because she was sick and stressed etc. Yes, I also believe that the NC benefit us both, but should I wait for more than 30 days of NC? Since her mom told me to contact her after 3 months… I’ve changed, and I’m now the guy that I used to be, the one that everyone wanted to talk with and just enjoy their time with. Confidence is back, social skills are back and I know how good I actually am. However my love for her hasn’t died, I want her back but I do want to things slowly, but where am I supposed to start the step to reconciliation ?

93

That’s it. She fucking followed another guy on instagram and I’ve had enough of this shit, I honestly don’t think she does deserve me. I hope her heart gets broken into pieces, she isn’t worth the effort. She’s talking to other boys on hot or not and everything and I should just deal with this?

94

she apologized which is good, the crazy action needs time to change…

I think 45days is better than 30days…cuz the cheat thing hurts…
just re-add her on facebook or what…then see what’s her response, try to contact her after 2 days…what do you think?

ps:I was like your ex…could you help me about my story ?:stuck_out_tongue:

95

hey followed on other guy is definitely normal…

she probably still feel hurt from the break up, I also followed other guy and now I still love my ex, we can’t judge it over this, we don’t know others feeling or what are they thinking in heart deeply.

on the other hand, she has all rights all over the world ,so do you you.
compare to the cheat the chat on the media is nothing!
even my ex had s*x with girl I still love him. love is complex.

96

The only social media I have her on is facebook, she hasn’t deleted me or anything. I might contact her tonight

97

Anyone have any advice? I went out at a club last night fucking hated it. I can’t seem to find girls attractive at all, it’s like they’re just “there” I feel so indifference about other girls that it is scary… I honestly believe my ex is the love of my life… I want her back and NC is almost done…

98

contact her on facebook, follow the plan

99

I’m thinking about contacting her today, it’s 25 days of NC though, should I wait for 5 more days or contact her tonight? And any advice on what I should write?

100

wait 5 more days, coz she probably start to miss u after 3 weeks of NC,
u can say something funny to her or just ask her how are you doing recently, but Kevin in the article said “I went to XX ,XX remind me of you.”
you know her, avoid the past and try to make her out for a coffee if she reply you.
good luck !keep us updated !