Will I ever in any way get her back?

reconciliation
1

I’ll do a short summary.
-We broke up (she broke up with me) during winter break last year.
-Got together everything started to be perfect.
-I cheated with another girl while being complete drunk.
-Told girlfriend, she got mad.
-We made up and got back together again.
-I lived at her place for 2 months with her mom during summer vacation, was never any space between us.
-We fought almost every single day, even when we went on vacation to a different country, we’d still fight.
-We hang around almost 24/7 each and everyday, went to the same school and class.
-She moved schools, told me she wanted me but not when other girls wanted me and I couldn’t stay away from other girls. REALLY JEALOUS ex.
-We tried it a bit again, for one day we met up and it was really bad/good chemistry. We fought a lot, but things did get better during the late hours, we kissed but then I told her I should go home and she agreed (during the weekends I always stayed over) this was weird for me so I reacted negative. This blew off everything…
-I started making her jealous and she did the same. I started adding girls etc on facebook and she started to follow boys on instagram.
-I begged so much almost for 3 weeks and tried to convince her to stay, even wrote her a 8 page letter declaring my stupid love for her gave her a expensive ring and everything.
-She didn’t reply my letter, did NC for a week.
-She removed our instagram pictures together, but did keep one or three pictures of us hanging around but with other people, the ones she had of my face or as a couple picture she removed. I got frustrated and broke NC and asked her if we could talk on facebook, she ignored it.

-Next day (yesterday 17 september) I buy flowers and candy the ones that she likes, went over to her house and tried to apologize. She was stupid mad, and yelled at me and said I was being pathetic and all. I stayed calm and didn’t say anything stupid. Only said that I was doing it because I were really sorry and genuinely cared about her. She told me it was over and that I should move on etc, and that she had said she needed 4 weeks alone but I didn’t give it to her and that I was pathetic. SHE HAS NOT TOLD ME THIS, at all. She did want peace and space but she didn’t give me any exact amount of days, and I thought I should fight for her… I told her I’m not trying to win her back, I’m just saying sorry etc and that we can be friends. She said I don’t believe you, and that I know we can’t be friends now. And that friends don’t give each other flowers… She REFUSED to take the flowers and candy etc. She got even more upset and mad. She said “Do I have to kiss another boy to make you realize it’s over?” and I was like, that’s up to you and she said “Well okay” and then she mumbled “might do it then”. She was being a real bitch honestly like “Do I have to tell you it’s over and that you should move on in three different languages?” and I said “Well that language would be cool, try it” then she kind off smiled and laughed for a second. The whole conversation she was FURIOUS and really was mean. So her mother stepped in and started to talk with me instead.

Had almost a 20 minute long conversation with her mom, she told me that she just needed space and that I should really think about myself instead. That she has started to be socialized with girls from her school and that she was doing good. (Which isn’t entirely true, because I know she has been miserable too, and maybe she still is). She told me that she goes to school most of the days and that after the vacation we had together she just completely changed when she got back. And that she has said she doesn’t want anything to do with boys now, that she would wait until she is 25 years and completely healthy before she even decides to get with another boy. And that she didn’t want to talk to anyone of why she broke up with me, she hasn’t said to her family that I had cheated etc… But she will probably tell them in the future… Anyways her mother felt sorry for me and told me I should just contact her after 3 months and that she’s sure things will get better by then. AND that I should just think of this as a teenage love and try to move on. LOL?

She has a sickness which has a lot of negative symptoms, like when she get stressed out she starts to think negatively etc. It’s called “chronic fatigue syndrome” and I think she has started to get sick again… Anyways that’s not the point.

Have I lost her forever? Or can I get her back?.. Remember, we fought a lot, and she started to hate me. Wasn’t completely my fault, but most of it was. I tried to apologize but it only made her go further away from me.

She’s still in a relationship with me on facebook… And she hasn’t deleted the 3 pictures on instagram which is associated with us.She deleted all the ones we had together though, the ones we kissed and our “1 year” and “2 year” anniversary picture together.

We were together for 2 years… We were in a distance relationship with each other for 1 year before I moved to her town and started at the same class as her and we started to hang around 24/7, no friends, no hobbies, just us all the time… This really fucked up our relationship… BUT we did really love each other for a long time, honestly. We loved each other so much.

If there is anything you wonder about my relationship please ask me, I’ll answer everything, and please… Is there any chance of getting her back?

2

One more thing. She was my first everything as well as I was her first everything.
First serious relationship and stuff, you all get the idea. We met when we were 16 and now we both are 18. She had told me that the “SPARK” was gone and that she didn’t have any boyfriend and girlfriend love for me anymore lol. She felt like I was her brother and she was my “mother/sister”. But that was weeks before the BIG last fight. And we did have sex one time after I cheated. ONE TIME, but there were no like… I don’t know, there wasn’t any chemistry, and she sensed that too.

3

It’s been like on and off since before summer vacation started. And during the 2 months of summer vacation everything went to hell, I was a moody psycho and didn’t appreciate anything, I really made it hard for her… And I did really hurt her, a lot… I basically made her hate me… I’m so stupid :frowning:

4

Should I do the steps and remove the relationship on facebook and our pictures on instagram?

5

She just removed the relationship…

6

anyone? please? @a.z ?

7

Hey,
You should continue NC for 3-4 months and during this time you should make sure if you can have along healthy relationship together.
I totally understand you but its the only way you can increase your chances.
You should make sure if getting back with her is the best decision.
If you are unsure about her as a potential life partner, I’d recommend you write down (it’s important that you write it down) what you expect from your ideal life partner and what you expect from your relationship. Then compare it to her and your past relationship.
If you are absolutely sure that you will be good together, you should give it another try. If you want to give it another try, then you can contact her when NC ends.
I am not sure about it, but it could be that what you are feeling right now is just guilt. You feel guilty for throwing away a good relationship. And you feel like you owe it to yourself and her to give it another try. If that’s so, remember that you already tried.You tried to make it word and it didn’t.
Also you should know, it’s not all your fault. A good strong relationship doesn’t end like that.But its ok.Everyone makes mistake.You should forget everything about it and get yourself ready for a new start.concentrate on yourself and make positive changes in your life.

You might be confusing the connection and intimacy that comes with a long term relationship with love. If you start a new relationship, it’ll always pale in comparison to the old one. Simply because you can not reach that level of connection and intimacy in a short amount of time. Ask yourself, do you want your ex simply because you associate her with a long term relationship where you have a very high level of connection and intimacy.

The last thing that might affect your decision is the fear that you won’t be able to find a relationship as perfect as it was with her.Which isn’t true.No matter what happens,you will find love and a perfect relationship.

Think about everything and make your decision.but there’s a chance and as long as there is a chance i’m sure you would want to take it.
Don’t stalk her on social media and concentrate on yourself.You should learn to be happy without her in your life.Thats the first step.Continue NC and i will help you through your next steps.

Here’s a checklist for ending no contact.

-You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.(3 months in your situation)
-You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
-You have made a few positive changes in your life.
-You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
-You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
-You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
-You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.

Best of Luck

8

Honestly… A.z… Your comment made my eyes open. Thank you! I’ll do exactly as you’ve said, step by step.

Some few more questions;
Should I keep her on facebook? Or delete her?
If I do keep her, is it to soon to show that I’m doing good and hanging around with buddys etc?
Should I post snapchat pictures/videos on my “mystory” so she can see them?
And last… Should I delete every picture I have that reminds us of our relationship on instagram and unfollow her?
Should I also stay completely away from other girls if I do ever want her back?

Or should I just completely remove myself from social media?

9

You can use social media to show her that you are doing well.wait one week then upload photos that show you are having a good time without her on your life.but remember you are more important than her.if you can’t stop yourself from stalking her on fb,deactivate your account or unfriend her or unfollow her on instagram.

No,you are single now and you have all the rights in the world to do everything/hang out with everyone you want.but don’t use jealousy to get her back.it may backfire.you can upload photos with a group of people including males and new females.

10

Jealousy + to much time spend together was the reason we actually broke up… So I won’t make her jealous, I’ll just try to focus on myself. Okay, I’ll wait one week :)!
Do you think that she will find someone else soon? Kind of scared that it will happen…

11

EVEN IF she starts to see someone,its most probably a rebound and you don’t have to be worried about it.
But don’t try to understand what she is doing.Don’t stalk her and don’t ask anyone anything about her.

12

I don’t think she is the type of girl to move on so fast though… And if she does I’ll be crushed honestly, because I know she isn’t that type of a girl to be with someone else that fast, not even after 6 months will she be with someone else, unless she really loves him with all of her heart… Fuck just thinking about this crushes my hope…

Remember, I was her first, one and only true love…

13

Don’t think about anything negative.There is nothing you can do about it and it hasn’t happened yet.Focus on yourself,get yourself busy,go out and do anything that makes you feel better.

14

But do you think I have a chance to make her come back to me? If I change myself and really start focusing on myself and get happy again? I’ll do it anyways if she wants me or not, but I’d rather have her by my side than not having her there. And even if her mother said 3 months should I really do NC for that long?

15

Yes you do have a chance.There is a good chance she contacts you during this time.
For now,don’t think about anything,i will help you through your next steps.

16

I’ll try my best, but it is so hard trying to not think about her…
She’s really stubborn, and her whole family and friends support her breaking up with me, should I even keep my hopes up? Her friends and family mean a lot to her, so they can easily affect her decision… I really love this girl and I only want her… But I’m afraid that I have really thrown her off the cliff with all of my begging, being so needy, writing her a 8 page letter declaring my love and that I brought her roses plus candy that she didn’t even want to accept. She was so furious, is it a good sign that she was mad at me?.. And she called me pathetic etc…

17

Clear,
It’s clear that you need to follow through with NC for 30 days. You need to focus on yourself and your own life. Your emotions need to stabilize. Hang in there and deep breaths (0:

18

@lynnwrigley
I know… But I miss her so much, all the memories, everything… It’s so not like her to drop everything so fast… It’s like she completely changed. Everyone is saying that she is doing good though, like her mother told me she was sleeping well and everything. It seems like she seriously has gotten over me… And I don’t know anymore, it’s so hard and it hurts so much. I only want her, no matter what… But I feel like I pushed her way to far, like if I pushed her off the cliff…

19

I understand it’s hard - believe me (I am on day 21 of no contact)! You really need to give this a try though, you know? It’s the ONLY thing you haven’t tried!! Think about that!!!

What you tried wasn’t working so, try Kevin’s plan! I mean, that IS why we are all here right? I say that sincerely.

I understand it’s so hard though - the pain - the anxiety. I so so so get it. You will empower yourself though.

Kevin’s plan works! So, you have a plan in front of you that is proven to work. Why don’t you just try it? I would do NC with her mom too - her whole family. Just try - 30 days!

20

I guess you’re right, I don’t have any options at all… I’m just so afraid that she’ll move on, or that she has already moved on and that scares me really… She was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, she told me I was the one too… So hard knowing that 2 months destroyed a 2 year relationship… If I only had done NC right away before begging and doing all the stuff it would of made me more attractive and I’m sure she’d be with me again now…