Will I ever in any way get her back?

reconciliation
21

I honestly and truly do not think you are too late at all. I think personally that following this plan? I think you have a shot. And I am not just saying that. I think it will throw her for a complete loop. Your challenge is in following the plan. Who cares what you ‘did’ - you have a new chance to start today. NC with her or her family - you know what to do b/c its’ all written down for us. Trust me, I am going through the same thing - exactly -I have followed the plan for 21 days and still no contact. It’s excruciating - painful - awful - ugh! I get it!!!

You really owe it to yourself to follow the plan! You will be a much better boyfriend to her when you do get her back. I would really not talk to her family either - just follow the gameplan. You CAN do this!!!

You never know until you try!

22

Here was my own question about my situation, please let me know! https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/mailing-belongings/#post-8100

23

Your post gave me some hope… I hope that she realizes that I truly loved her but that I just had a fucked up 2 month period… And I hope that she will contact me soon. She is still mad at me, so maybe when she has calmed down she will regret her decision and try to talk with me? Because I didn’t get mad at her or anything even though that she shouted at my face telling me a lot of shit the day I tried to make up for her… It felt like she really meant what she said though so yeah, I don’t know… NC is the only thing I can do… She hasn’t deleted me off facebook yet, nor snapchat or instagram… Maybe she wants to keep tabs on me? And see what I’m up too? I can use this to my advantage, but it can backfire if I do it stupidly… THIS IS A GAME OF CHESS. Honestly hate the games girls sometime play…

24

This is why I think you have a chance. When someone is mad (aka her) and you are calling/texting, it gives her this sense of control (trust me, I am a woman and it’s true). So, she knows you are in her back pocket and it will make her extend this whole long breakup.

So, now you are going to follow through on NC but you really need to do it with her WHOLE family - literally do NOT answer your phone. If I can do this? YOU can do this (trust me).

So, you literally do the NC - you follow the plan - but you do everything in your power to focus on YOU. I think you are like the ideal person for Kevin’s plan - you just have to somehow find the strength to follow it. You want to be a strong guy in general - you really have to do this!

She WILL contact you at some point but where you have to stay is THE PLAN - Kevin’s plan. Do not respond to her. If anyone asks you about her be pleasant and cool- ‘we went our separate ways’.

You need to do this for yourself. When you start to focus on YOU, your confidence will go up too - and I am telling you, she is going to come a runnin’.

The key will be too not talking about her at all to anyone where it can get back to her.

You want this girl back? This is how you do it.

25

Omg! I’ll do exactly as you say :)! 2nd day of NC, I’ll just focus on myself and not talk about her at all to anyone!

26

I’m telling you- she will come running. It may not be the first two weeks but she will come back. I’m a girl. I can close to guarantee it. If you are asked about her? Be calm- cool. If she knows you are doing this to get her back, she will keep at it.

27

Here are all the links I’ve written about her on this forum I think

https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/break-up-after-2-years-help-me-please/

After reading both of those threads and this thread you still have hope for my case?

28

Yes I do. You have to follow Kevin’s plan though to the letter. Absolutely yes!!

29

Okay thank you soooo much! :smiley: I’ll keep you updated on progress! This really means a lot, I got a lot of hope from you today! Thank you!

30

I’m losing hope… This is so hard… I should try to move on, but I want her so much that it hurts, and I only think about if she really wants me back too… She still hasn’t done anything to get rid of me on social media, what does this indicate? I’m just so sad, I want her back as fast as possible and I’m so afraid that she will find someone else…

31

Well instead of being a sad idiotic loser, I went to my hometown went out with a friend and I went to play bowling and “pool billiard” or whatever it’s called. I did lay out a picture on snapchat on mystory. And guess what, she looked at it hah. I think she keeps me on social media too keep tabs on me and see if I hang around with other girls. I didn’t do anything wrong did I? I used social media to my advantage, and she still looked at my snapchat to see what I was doing. I won’t get my hopes up about anything, but it does still mean something doesn’t it?

32

No,you did nothing wrong.Yeah,thats a good sign but don’t try to overanalyze it.You are doing well just keep it up and try to enjoy being single.

33

I don’t know how to enjoy being single when I want HER. If she finds out I’m talking to other girls etc I’m pretty sure I won’t have a chance in hell to get her back. But I’m also afraid that she’s talking to other boys, or already is on the merge of haven moved on and will soon date someone else… These negative thoughts are fucking up my head, her girlfriends are party animals… So I’m not sure what will happen :confused:

34

a.z

Remember that I’m the one who cheated. I want to show her that I regret it, and that I regret acting like a child and completely think only of myself after that I cheated and she accepted me back. I was acting like a child and I completely destroyed her within 2 months during the summer vacation… You know the story… And for 3 weeks even though I begged her, and I told her I wasn’t talking to other girls she couldn’t believe me… Even told her I had deleted the girl she wanted me to stop talking to on facebook but I had forgotten that I had deleted her so she said I lied… And she got mad… That was 2 weeks ago. I should give her time YES, I agree. But I shouldn’t like show her that I’m enjoying the single life… Do you think that she is doing this to hurt me?

35

Honestly I feel like there is no hope at all… She watches my snapchats on mystory but I think that’s just because she wants to know what I’m up too.

Should I make her jealous in some way? I know that she has, or is moving on. And I should do something that can attract her too me! Why hasn’t she deleted me on facebook, or instagram or snapchat for that matter? Is it because she thinks it’s immature or because she wants to see what I’m doing? Everyone is saying that being “MAD” is a good sign, but it doesn’t seem like it… She was furious the last time I talked to her… I’m on my 5th day of NC and this just keeps getting harder and harder. Is it when I move on that she comes back? What am I supposed to do? I don’t want to make her jealous, because then she will probably think that I’m still the one who cheated on her and that will just make my chances less wouldn’t it?

I won’t bump into her, that will be impossible, and we have no mutual friends, so how is it possible to attract her back to me?..

What I don’t get is that she hasn’t started following other guys on instagram or anything, I’m not sure if she talks to other boys on facebook or not… I’m just so confused, I want her back… Should I follow some girls on instagram? This could backfire couldn’t it? I know for a fact that she hates ONE girl that I kissed before I met her, should I follow her on instagram? I JUST NEED ADVICES, I’m honestly hopeless atm…

I want to seem like an Alpha which I were before, but I don’t want her to think that I’m dating other girls already, because that will blow my chances off…

36

Well some new updates…

2 days ago a random girl added me on facebook, she is in the same class as my ex. And I’ve only met that girl ONCE in my entire life with some couple friends last year.
She added me and I asked who she was and if I have had met her before, she said yes and that I’ve met her last year with a couple of friends. We discussed how we met and with whom and what happened etc. When I stopped answering her, my ex liked 2 of that girls pictures on instagram, started to follow her and even liked her picture on facebook… This is how the conversation went:

Me- "Hi, do I know you?"

Her- “Hahahahha I’ve met you once but besides that no”

Me- “Oh hah, okey. Where did you meet me? You know Simon? (Simon is a mutual friend on facebook)”

Her- “I am 'Jamie’s best friend (the girl that added me first but that I didn’t accept until the girl I was talking to added me). She knows ‘Simon’. We met last year at burger king with a couple of my and your friends.
That time my friend kicked you and hit you”

Me- “Ohyea! That’s true! I remember that, don’t have a clue what her problem was! Such an awkward situation”

Her- “Hahahahaha I didn’t know what happened first, but it was hilarious. Do you remember me?”

Me- " Funny?.. I got really hurt, like seriously… She hit me in… With her knee… Without any reason. And yeah I remember you.

Her- “She goes to martial arts. But yeah she kicked you, and then you got friends again, and then she kicked you again.
And then you went, and me and my bestfriend Jamie went home.
I heard you guys went to a party after that (big emoji smiley icon)”

Me- “She… Is crazy… Met her once after that episode and then she was nice towards me. Went to a party? No?” (We did go on a party, but I don’t even know HOW she figured that out or how she even thought about that now… I’ve only met this girl ONCE without my ex being around, NEVER talked to her again before now.)

Her- “She has a bit of mood swings yeah. She is nicer to girls than boys though.
Yes, you, simon and kevin went to a party?”

I didn’t talk to her after that… I’m almost 70% sure my EX is behind this… They go to the same class, they all of suddenly started to like each others pictures on instagram. AND my ex after 2 hrs I had the conversation with her friend, she changed her profile picture lol…
IS SHE BEHIND THIS? AND IF SO, why the hell is she doing this? Oh by the way, I went to a martial art class yesterday, and I put a picture on snapchat, and she viewed it straight away!

37

anyone?.. help?

38

is it possible to get any more advices?..

39

I want you listen to me, clear. And let this sink in: YES. As in, 100% YES SHE’S STILL INTERESTED.

Like most of us on these forums, I, too, am going through a breakup. Just happened yesterday. Not as bad as yours; my girl just seemed to lose interest because I rested on my laurels too much, so she apparently got bored and told me she’d moved on. Now, I’m sure even you would tell me that I have an amazing chance to get back with her if she eventually sees the new and improved me and realizes how she threw away a great partner.

I’m telling you this because imagine: I’m dying to hear back from her. Even a sign that she’s still interested. But you, dude, you CHEATED on her and did a bunch of stupid things. You admitted it yourself. But the fact that after all that, she STILL looks at your social media profiles? Possibly even stalking you through another friend?

My God, man, how can you be so blind as to not see how much this chick still digs you! :))) Seriously, it doesn’t make sense for her to keep tabs on you because she thinks you’re insecure/moved on/etc. Let me tell you, girls don’t work like that. Heck, people don’t work like that. If they truly think you’re immature or pathetic, why bother wasting their time trying to know what you’re up to? Ever think about that? No, she’s obviously keeping tabs because like Kevin said, at this point in the NC, she’s getting curious about why you’re not running up to her doorstep crying for forgiveness. She realizes she’s losing the power over you. Her ego’s getting crushed. If anything, SHE’S probably the one being immature right now.

So basically, I want you to keep up what you’re doing: continue the NC, continue to let her be curious, but NEVER draw attention to yourself. Just live your life. Think of it like this: the more you grow through this absence, the more you become a magnet to her. But it only works if you improve for YOURSELF; not because you just want to get with her again. You lucky, lucky dude. If I found out my ex was still checking my profile now, I’d be ecstatic, and my situation’s not even as bad as yours. You ought to be celebrating, man. :))

All joking aside, please, have faith and keep it up. You’re exhibiting typical breakup behavior in that you’re overanalyzing and making clearly illogical judgements on her actions. Take the word of us commenters who aren’t emotionally wrecked from this situation. Finish the three months (or even less, considering her very suspicious behavior) of NC and watch the magic happen. :wink:

40

@clear
You’re doing great you just need to keep up on the no contact and try working on yourself. It’s funny your guys’s relationship was almost just like mine and my ex. First of everything together. We were together for 2 years. Went way too serious had sleepovers 24/7 same school everything. So trust me I know how hard this is. I hurt everyday too and I wish I knew how to take the pain away.
But you need to just follow Kevin’s plan. It may look like there’s no hope some days but there is. Don’t get our hopes up but also if you really love her do not give up. You need to work on yourself and show her how happy and confident you are. Show her the guy she fell in love with at first. Go workout or do something good for yourself. You can do this. I agree with everything @a.z. And @lynnwrigley is saying!
If you could maybe please check out my threads and helpe out with some advise it would mean so much. Is crazy how similar out relationships were.
I understand how it’s so hard to believe that your ex seems perfectly fine how could they move on or be ok that fast? Cause my ex is doing the same thing.