Mind looking at my new one?
https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/what-to-do-8/
After everything though… All the memories we shared… The connection… The love for each other and our families… Why would he do this to me?.. Why would he choose his boss (who obviously has no morals and is trashy) basically over me? Why did he say all of those horrible things? I just don’t understand any of this 
I just can’t believe after everything I’ve done to him, why he would treat me this way… I’m not giving in whatsoever. I’m doing this not only for me but to teach him he needs to treat people better or he will lose them. If we don’t get back together, we don’t. I am just so confused as to why he did all of that to me and now all of the sudden he “feels bad”,
its just a defense mechanism and he wants to make you mad and jealous
What is he defending?! I have stayed loyal to him since we broke up. I have given him everything. I have been my overly kind self. Constantly available to him. Everything! So why make me made and jealous if he already had me?
because its all a tactic. its stuck in his head. you may hate me for this but guys tend to show their emotion more and fight for something more when theres a break up more than a girl
@shelden21 I definitely dont hate you for that!! I need your strict honesty! And is that because they feel like since they have the girl there is no sense in fighting/trying but then when he loses her, then there is a reason to fight?
So when we broke up and started coming around again, he knew he already had me, so he took advantage of that and did whatever he felt like because I “wasn’t going anywhere”?
I read your story and you are doing absolutely awesome. the only thing I could tell you to change is to be less spiteful. Unblock his number and unblock him on social networks. Allow him to continue to call you. But this doesn't mean answer. This also does not mean use him to boost your ego. I can tell that your experience with non contact was more so directed at him and not so much for your benefit. Right now I am only about 3 days into no contact and my ex has used every excuse to try and get into contact with me. But I will not give her the benefit of having multiple significant others in her life, nor will I boost her ego by giving her attention.
You should continue no contact, but this time you should completely cut out any mutual friends and family friends that you and him share. You should also refrain from putting anything on social media and stay as low key as possible. He will begin to go insane because he will not know what you have been up to, what you look like at the moment, and how you feel towards him/ any other man.
And lastly. I want you to focus on yourself. Just by reading this I can tell you deserve a great man in your life, because loyal women are almost non- existent these days. You also know you have value, you just don't know how great your value is. During this no contact focus on your health (fitness, mental awareness of what you want, and hygiene), your financial stand point (if you don't have a car then buy one and get a well paying job), and most importantly start dating. Sadly to say, regardless of him calling you religiously I am almost 100 percent positive that he is going out with other females in attempts to fill your void. Start allowing men who you feel actually deserve you to prove that they can make you happy and that not all men are the same.
Trust me. As a young man I'm one of the few of my peers who value love and believe that one strong couple can't take on the world. So men who believe in love are not extinct. Find your happiness young woman.
@Tj That makes me feel better! I really am so much better compared to when we broke up. I was suicidal (not because of him but because of my illness) and then losing him made it worse. I have dedicated myself to therapy and my medications. I work out, go out with friends, and there is this one guy I am interested in but I don’t know how far that will go. This guy isn’t worth being a rebound. He is an incredible guy.
I guess it is just scary only because we were each others first loves and we were together for so long. We have so much together and it is insulting he threw me away.
I know he is with other girls. He talks openly to me about that. I know they aren’t up to my standards, but why waste your time with other girls if you still care for me and I am the “best thing that ever happened to him”? He used to always preach to his brothers that they need to go out and find someone like me. Everyone would always say I am too good for him. Especially with his background compared to mine.
For him, I just want to be the one that got away… I want him to see all that I have done for him and regret everything he did for me. As of right now, I don’t see us getting back together because I don’t want to. He would have to become himself again and maybe someday in the future he will and something may spark. It would just be nice to get some recognition and realization from him in the future though.
Okay. Once you cut off communication with him, completely, I want you to do at least one thing in your life that he will be aware of; then I want you to accomplish something that means something to yourself. One thing that may mean something to you is your body. As a woman , although I may not live it, but I know the insecurities you may feel about your body. Regardless of if you're as skinny as a toothpick or have the nicest bosom/rear (excuse me). Do something that will boost your confidence and make you feel as if you deserve someone better. Guys who aren't just physically attractive, but have something to offer.
Now; this period of NC can last anywhere between 21 days to how many it takes you to better yourself. The reason for this is because you won't be chasing this guy who is trying to have females on the side as her remains in contact with you; you will have him chasing you. Why? because he hasn't heard from you, hasn't seen you, and most importantly he doesn't know how good you're doing. Every ex's fear isn't only that their ex-significant other has moved on, but is that person doing better. Rather it be with somebody or on your own. And their is nothing more attractive than a female who does not need a man or is able to support herself while keeping her self esteem high. But don't become a you know what (female dog). Excuse me for my language but that will only push other guys away.
@Tj Thank you so much for the advice!
So if I began to act better, look better, and be independent he will realize it and become attractive again?
I’ve lost 20 pounds since we broke up (thank god!!). Now I am working on toning!
What is attractive in a girl? Looks and personality? Not for just an easy lay but for commitment material?
Not just for this situation but possible future guys!!
Be interesting. What makes you different? Over the course of your weight loss did you become a fitness enthusiast? Any man with an ounce of game will not talk about themselves. They will question you on your interest, your career, what you are studying, etc... Physically what makes a girl hot in my opinion is being in shape. I love working out, So whenever I see a slender, not too skinny, woman with an athletic body I am automatically turned on. But I am aware that females come in many varieties. Beauty has no shape or form. Therefore when you see it you must respect it. What are some physical attributes that your friends may compliment you on or even be jealous of? Use those to your advantage and prime them. But don't only focus on your best attributes; because what if a man isn't interested in that?
Mold yourself into an all around female. Begin to dress and do things like a woman! Throw away those Ugg boots that you may wear everyday and wear what is appropriate. Stop wearing leggings when you go out and wear a dress. And in my opinion, the only make up woman should use is eye liner. Instead of clogging your face up for an hour trying to impress another man who spent no more than 10 to 20 minutes preparing to meet a woman, make your beauty look effortless.
I will end this comment by giving you a reflection of what 'i have physically changed about myself. I stopped dressing to impress the male species, and are started dressing to attract people as a whole. I stopped dressing like a boy and started presenting myself as a man. I no longer wear sneakers unless I am going to the gym. I also don't wear t-shirts in public. I always wear wear button-ups, sweaters, and knitted coats. Boys these days fail to realize that dressing athletic does not impress women, it impresses other boys. And as a man, I am not impressed when I see a boy above the age of 18 in public wearing sneakers, jeans, and a hoodie. The only females that go for these boys are the ones who cheat, are looking to hook up, or have no self esteem. Women who are looking for relationships chase men.
@TJ I am definitely the kind of girl that looks for all of that apporpriate dressing in a man! Haha!
The only make up I wear is under eye concealer because of my dark circle due to allergies! It just makes me look more awake and not sick (even though I probably am! Haha!). And I also wear some mascara just to also make me look more awake. I don’t ever wear eye liner, mascara, blush, or all over the face foundation. I am very natural kind of person and I believe every single person is beautiful in their own way. I am constantly told I am gorgeous without make up or I don’t look any different, but I just use a little but of enhancement. My goal isn’t to take all of my make up and look like a totally different girl!! Haha!!
And what about personality wise?
Subject: Personality
Many females don't realize this but acting like a female dog or pushing guys away as is if they are better is not attractive. In fact if you could recall a time where you led a guy on, you were probably extremely nice and outgoing. That's what guys like. Smile as much as possible, be genuine, and spread energy. Guys are extremely attracted to women that want to be attractive. Meaning that if you are a welcoming person you will get more attention. Now, this does not mean go out of your way and talk to every guy. But when a man whom has potential approaches him do not shun him. Be open and he will fall right in.
@TJ So I guess I just be myself! Haha! I would never use a guy or lead him on! It just isn’t fair! Hopefully I can find someone who appreciates me for me, and not my ex… Yeah we had something special, but now I am just a piece of meat that he won’t just let go of.
@TJ I just want him to realize my worth…
He will realize at the same moment you realize and begin to reward yourself with someone who deserves you.
@TJ,Do you think I am doing the right thing?
Whatever your decision is will be the right thing to do. Your opinion is the only one that matters.
@TJ wow so true! I have been looking around to see if there might be any guy that is as good as him (he is a man, dresses properly and all) and whenever I see a guy in hoodies and stuff I am just “nah” right away. Quality guys are rare, really…