Why is he doing this?

Long story, cut very short. My ex and I dated for 3 years. We broke up in October. For a couple months we barely talked. I took the break up really hard and also was dealing with issues at the time. He started to come around on the holidays. We got intamite once in a while. However he barely texted me and a that, so I know he was using me even though I knew he still had feelings for me (we were each others first loves). I never really gave up on him.

Then we started trying to be friends. But still didn’t text me as much. So I laid it on the line that he either takes things slow with me or leaves my life forever. He decided to take things slow. We did that for about a week in a half. He texted me all the time (wasn’t really flirtacious just contently) and he threw out one I love you.

Then he throws on me that he “just wants to be friends”. Well I never wanted to be his friend so I know he was doing that for himself. He then proceeded to tell me that he wants me to go out and date other people because I haven’t and how do I really know hhe’s the one if I have only been with one person. I agreed and respected his decision. He told me that he wants me in his future and he sees me in his future.

Well we are friends for a week, but on valentines day he just pushed my buttons (he wished me a happy valentines day but was with another girl that night). So I didn’t talk to him for an entire week. He called me twice that week and then texted me on a Friday and told me to act like an adult and text him back. Well I didn’t and then he called me hours later. I answered and then we texted a little after that and then he stopped. Well he found out I was at a party that night and texted me to get all my pictures and shit or he is burning them. I called him and we had a nice talk.

His cousin is my best friend, so we see each other. He texted me on Tuesday telling me to go home because her family needs a break. Well she went to her dad and told him that and he went to her mom and told her how dare he try to control his house and she needs to talk to him. Well she was on the edge anyways to confront him about me. So she finally did. She told me they had a nice talk. I called him later that evening and he answered “Don’t ever fucking talk to me again” I called him again because I was done with his crap and I have never stood up to him. His sister answers and said that he can’t come to the phone right now even though she was in the car with him and their parents. Then, he grabs the phone and tells me to never talk to him again. So I showed up at his house because we needed to end things for good in person.

Well when he came home, he chucked his left overs and shoved me because I told him we need to talk. I shoved him back (out of pure rage) and then we started screaming at each other. He told me I ruined his life, he wasted three years of his life, he wants me gone forever, I’m psycho, I need to go kill myself (I have a history with suicide), that when he told me he loved me it was because that’s what I wanted to hear, that he’s screwed 4 girls since we broke up, mocked me for personal issues, and how he doesn’t care what happens to me. Also, he and his boss slept together. Well coorprate found out and told them to never see each other again or they will get fired. Well, that’s who he was with on Valentines Day. Then he proceeded to tell me how she wrote “I love you” on a piece of paper and it is in his room.

So after that confrontation we said our goodbyes for good and I was in complete shock. I woke up the next morning with a text saying this :I am sorry about tonight. I have been running off 6 hours of sleep in 2 days… You know how that is. I just want you to know that I am very very disappointed in myself… We have to go separate ways. I wouldn’t ever hit you I was to aggressive to even lay my hands on you. I’m a shitty person for it and won’t live itdown. So again I’m sorry for everything I ruined in our lives and I’m glad you found someone better. If something would of happen to you id be there. I don’twant to end on bad terms. Today was one of the worst days of my life and again I’m not happy with my decision. It has happened and I can’t take it back but tolearn from it. Hope you will forgive me one day if not I understand. Hope you have a great life with everything! Don’t let anyone stop you from your dreams. Ifyou can remember anything from me let it be this… It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop at what you want to achieve. Have a great timewith everything you do and only surround yourself around happy go lucky people. Stay positive!Ps… I hope you don’t hate me."

I never responded. I got a text later saying “Pss. Let me know if you read this.” I never responded. Then that night I got a message request from him on Instagram. I denied the request. Well, I woke up this morning 18 canceled calls (blocked his number from calling), 1 missed call from a different number, and 1 text. He called me twice at 7:52 and I didn’t answer then he texted me at that same time and said “Okay I get it.” Then I got 15 more calls. 1 call from a random number. And then another call from his.

Why is he so desperate to contact me? After everything he said and did? After basically using me? After still seeing his boss? After saying "I just told you what you wanted to hear? After 4 months of putting me through this hellish roller coaster ride? Why is he trying to contact me?

You did a great job by not answering his call. Do a strict nc. And analyse your relationship and heal yourself from this break up. I understand it’s not going to be an easy task. We all are with you in this

May be he cannot accept that you’re not talking to him.
Maybe somewhere he still wants to be with you. Who knows. Just let it be.

He literally just called me again.

It is just so wrong. This whole situation is so unfair and wrong. I’m doing NC for my own health and sanity. Haha!

It just confuses me why he is so desperate to talk to me now? Its ridiculous!

Normally I give in and am really sweet to him but he screwed up so bad that I can’t even say “I love him”. That’s how bad it is.

I guess this is the reason why he is desperate to talk to you. You not being nice to him kinda messing with his head… keep this going

Even though nothing will make me give in not unless its an emergency, should I feel bad for ignoring him? I always feel bad if I don’t talk to someone. Also, if I shouldn’t feel bad for ignoring him, how can I make myself not feel as guilty?

Was it okay when he was hurting you so much with harsh words? Was it okay when he was most likely cheating on you? Was it okay he took you for granted and didnt value you?

I would only say let him learn a lesson this time. People only appreciate things for which they work hard to earn them. He did so much to hurt you and neglected your feelings. My ex did the same thing. I know we both love them but would it be right to again throw ourselves to them and let them screw our feelings again? Answer is NO!
if they even want to talk to us, they gotta earn it.
I am in no way settling for any less. I ll get what i deserve. You should do this too.
I feel low so many times, i remember the happy days and think if i should talk to him. I just got a call from him in the middle of typing this. Now i got a text from him “div? I miss you… just tell me if you dont want to talk” then he called me 2 times more and maybe he ll call again. But you know what? I am not going to reply. I cant take that shit anymore. He cant have me whenever he wants to and throw me in trash when he done or bored. Take a stand. They have to realise what they have done to us. Afterall we have feelings and they hurt them

He has called me 3 mores times today. His last call he left a message saying “Please call me back”. I never ever expected him to act like this. I figured after that night he would have never tried to contact me again.

I’m doing this for me. However, it is going to help him by creating this emotional negative sting that he won’t be able to get out of because he is so used to me answering and taking care of him. I’m his comfort zone.

Do you think he will realize everything has done and what he lost?

We both are in the same boat and we both want the same thing. You are right in your place and he is the one who did wrong so he ll realise it soon.
Stick to the nc

I’m sticking to the NC 100%. No doubt. As of right now, I have nothing to say to him. He just crossed the line this time. Like I haven’t really cried over it and I think its because I am so numb from the verbal abuse that I just don’t care right now.

We definitely have to stick with this one together. I need support and I’m sure you do too! You can definitely talk to me if you want!

Thank you!

Yeah i really need a support. Thanks.

Can you check my updates?

Stay strong. I wish u all the luck in the world

Omg girl same thing happened to me like down to the tee and its almost like when you stop trying here they come!

Girl, did I stop trying! Literally I’m so numb to the situation. Yesterday he didn’t contact me all day so I figured he got the hint, but to my surprise he called me 4 more times last night. He is not the kind of person to do this. So why is he doing it? Beats me! Haha!

I think he already realised his mistake that he dis wrong and pushed you away to the point you dont wanna go back to him!!

Good for him he realised that.
He knows for sure that you dont wanna talk to him.
Take your time and heal yourself from the pain and shock he gave you!
Has he sent any apology texts?

He just sent me that one apology text the day after we got into the fight! I put it in my story! Ever since I havent responded he has called me everyday. On Saturday he left a voicemail saying “please call me back”. Of course I didn’t. Last night he called me 4 more times. I have not answered anything or stayed in contact. He told me I ruined his life and he wants me out of it. He rubbed in my face about sleeping with 4 people since we broke up and how he is still seeing his boss and how she wrote “I love you” on a piece of paper and he kept it. I just don’t understand why he is so obsessed with talking to me now. After all the short texts. After ignoring me. After using me and keeping me around until he was “ready”. Like why now? It baffles me.

You are doing great not talking to him. He deserves this. My ex also hurt me alot but he isn’t calling me everyday and never apologized to me.

But I just don’t understand why he’s doing it, you know?

He’s doing it because he realizes what is missing in his life! He realized that he may have actually lost you and you are not there for him! It’s good because the way it sounds he needs to realize it! He needs to treat you better because every girl deserves to be treated right! Every girl should be treated like a queen! It’s good that you are sticking to it! A lot of people want to give up or give in but I’m glad to see somebody so confident in a situation like this! It gives me hope as well! Keep it up and I guarantee you he will change a ton and treat you way better in the end!