Okay so my ex and I broke up about a month ago. We were together for three years! We are both young but that doesn’t matter. She lived with me for two of those three years. We had our little arguments but we always got past them as a team. But she broke up with me a month ago and said she stopped losing feelings for me in October? But she stayed with me? Then the day after we broke up I went to her friends house and she was all over me and kissing me and said we had a 98% chance of getting back together. Then two days later she came home and we cuddled and took a nap together. But then the next week came around and she kept telling me to move on and stuff but she still says she loves me at the end of phone calls and still wants hugs from me and everything. The reason why she stopped losing feelings if she did lose feelings was because I pushed her down. I would never do it again and have worked on myself but she don’t realize that. Also she said that I didn’t show her enough affection but that’s easy to change and I’ve worked on that! She came over two days ago and cried to me about her problems and how stressed she is and was in my arms. She said she was angry with me because she thought we would get married and be together forever? She said she cares for me and wants to be bestfriends and she still loves me. Also she says she misses me sometimes. She is having a lot of problems in her life right now and I told her I’m always here for her! What do I do?
Anybody?
It sounds like the biggest thing you need to do is work on you. Tell her that you need a little bit of time away from her to fix the things she said, so that you can have an awesome relationship. Go NC; it’s the only way you’ll really change emotionally. Once you think you’re ready, tell her you want to show her the new you.
That’s what I’ve done and changed the past month which was really a simple fix but now I’m stuck on what to do? I can’t just speak to her cause actions speak louder than words!
What do you think @tighen
@tigham
Try and stay strong. I know it’s hard but you can do it. Remember the advice you gave me. Keep remembering your goals and aim high
All you need is to do nc! Tell her you time and space for yourself. You have to stay strong and positive. She will definitely miss you reconsider her decision.
It sucks though cause she calls me everyday and she’s in a rough part of her life right now!
Mate I do feel for u, I bet it hurts like hell. On one hand your trying to heal but on the other the woman you love is hurting.
Exactly and like I feel as if I need to be there for her like I always have! But it sucks cause I can’t be there for her like I want to!
I know mate that must be very hard. But you never know u being there for her now when she’s in her moment of need might make her realise what she’s missing!
That’s why I’m always here for her!
Bump
Just keep working on you… I promise she is being sincere. But you need to work on you for you. Not her. The biggest way to make her think twice, is you “moving on”. Or falsely moving on. You don’t have to go out and sleep with a bunch of people or be mean to her. Just put yourself first, and let her know that you are here for her but you need to work on yourself. You both have a lot going on. In order to have a relationship you have to have a steady relationship with yourself. If you don’t nothing will truly change. I promise, things will work out. As long as you complete NC for you.
but I feel as if it won’t truly work
im so confused on what to do? so many people tell me different things!
It is so obvious that she still has feelings for you. Action speaks louder than words.
If you are still in touch with her then you should ask her directly as to what she wants. If she says she needs space or wants to be friends or something like thag. You ask her to give you space and not to be in touch for a while.
She will definitely miss you when you ll start nc.
3 years are no less and nobody cam throw it alaway like that.
She will definitely come back but you need to take a step!
Can you look into my thread? I need a guys view. If possible read all my posts on that thread as i have shared my progress during nc and his reactions. Thanks:)
https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/feeling-hopeless-and-confused/
So what’s holding her back?
Why does she say she doesn’t feel that way for me anymore? Why does she say for me to move on? Why does she say it shouldn’t of taken a break up for me to change and realize what I done wrong?