I feel I will be doing the same maybe aiming for 60 but once I make it to 30 I will have a good think about things and if I feel some sort of anger and resentment for what he has done I will wait.
I doubt she is missing the other guy they don’t have what you both had.
My day has been good, I went for a very long walk, came back and looking at changing my career. How has yours been?
My ex deleted me at the start of the relationship as he thought it would be to hard to see me. It was a good thing, you can make it that she only sees your profile pic which I have done if he ever unblocks me.
I think 60 sounds about right. I really hope it works out for you. I think you will come back a new person and hopefully he sees that, because I think he wants to love you, but not whilst he thinks you can still hurt him.
My ex deleted me after I changed my profile picture with that girl, although her parents may have ordered her to. She then blocked me when she added that guy, and claimed she had deleted facebook.
I made her block me twice. I have been blocked since October now. I have deleted all of my rebounds from facebook, and made my facebook friends public, so she knows I am no longer playing the field. I have also deleted the girl I cheated on her with.
I really hope it works. I know, but who knows? She may be like she was with me to every guy. She told me that she wanted us to be together forever. Her jealousy was extreme. She kept complaining we were not compatible, because I liked to go clubbing and would drink, whereas she didn’t. But I told her that none of those things mattered. When we split, I explained how I was talking to a friend who happened to be a girl and her response was ‘wow, so many girls’. I need to prove that I have changed.
I hope she does not fall in love with the other girl. But then again, how can you be in a relationship when it has been forced at the expense of someone you loved?
I think 60 will help me loads and I’ll be back to myself, thank you I hope it works out for you too. To be honest I don’t think it will work out he’s very stubborn.
Your doing everythibg right to show your ex your improving and want only her which she will see in time, for her parents they just want to make sure she is happy, she won’t fall in love with him if she is still thinking of you.
Maybe that was the reason we got together to get him through his cancer, so by me not contacting him I hope he realises.
Your ex will realise your doing a lot to prove to her, but please remember to start looking after yourself. She will be still thinking about you I have no doubts about that.
I think time will heal the bad memories and he will remember the good things. Do you live close to him and do you have mutual friends?
I have no mutual friends with my ex, it was always me and her - no one else. I am having a bad day again today. I am just remembering the lies and hypocrisy. She lied about deleting facebook and saw someone behind my back. Also, why was she speaking to him in the first place? Especially with how she reacted and how jealous she was with other girls. At least they were friends, and I did not hide it. Even days before our breakup, she was asking who I went to the cinema with.
And all the while there was this guy messaging her. It annoys me so much.
I hope so, no we live about an hour and a half apart and no mutual friends. So all contact is lost.
You will your bad days I still have mine, but remember you have to let all of that go and start improving yourself, if your still holding onto all these feelings she could possibly be too.
That’s the NC is there so you can leave all the negativity behind.
I really have no idea. I have said so much already. I even sent video messages. Just nothing worked. I just don’t have a clue what to do. Part of me thinks that she is trying to cut me out of her life forever, as it is too difficult for her to cope.
I done the same, beg, pleased told him I would do anything for him! but he didn’t listen.
That’s why we have to stick to the NC, she will wonder why you have not been in touch, sending it to her work is not bad it means your not going through her family and direct to her.
I did exactly the same. I think being light is definitely the best way to go. I haven’t written anyone a letter for so long. I suppose this is a unique way to show someone you care.
I just found some old messages on my phone (I deleted most) and I found one from an argument we had in late August.
It went like this.
Me: 'Hey, I need to sleep now. Meet you tomorrow out xxxxx just after 6. I can’t wait to hold my baby again
Her: Tomorrow? Huh? Not tomorrow. I’m working tomorrow. Next Wednesday I meant. 27th. Oh no…Baby, sorry…
Her: Darn it. Sorry I should have said dates.
Me: I’m going to sleep.
Her: My next day off is on Wednesday 27th. Sorry labs (love)
Her: Wait. Don’t go to sleep angry.
Me: You said you’re free Wednesday, and a week ago you also said you were free on bank holiday Monday. I don’t know what to think.
Her: Sending screenshots of her work schedule.
Her: That’s my schedule. See it?
Her: Hmmm. Thanks for the show of trust. Tsk. This is not working out. We’ll just keep disappointing eachother. Tiring.
Me: Ok, let’s end it, if that’s how you feel.
Her: I’m doing my best to spend the rare days off I have with you an still you doubt what I say. You’re right. You need a girl who’ll be at your beck and call. I’m a nurse, with the schedule I have, that’s not going to be me hey, I’ve only wished you happiness. Hope you find what you’re looking for. Take care.
Me: I’m calling you just after I get into work at nine. Let me know if there is a more suitable time. Love you.
Her: The next time you tell me you want to end it, I’m gonna take it as final. Sorry for turning off my phone last night. When I’m angry I need time because otherwise… Sigh. Anyway. No need to call. Concentrate at work. Sigh. If there’s no trust, no amount of love will make relationships work you know. I am sorry for not being clear on my schedule in the first place. Message. Don’t call. Otherwise i’ll be crying and it’s too early for tears.
I find it funny how she speaks of trust. This is one of the few arguments we had.
Hi @maren88, he had non Hodgkin’s lymphoma and would have died if they didn’t use the chemo they did, what did your ex have?
@libertine1 it is more heartfelt when it’s put in a letter, please always remember time heals all.
That message shows that you both were not communicating, so to start make sure you tell her you accept the break up and work schedule and you know how hard it was for her to see you. Put you need to be in that position and mind set before you send it or it will just create negativity.
I can understand your paranoia I would be the same, you need to let go of the anger, pain and resentment because it’s only hurting you not her. You are stronger than you think, the more you see that the more it will become easier.
I’m having a good day, seeing the positives for me, it’s day 9 NC and its getting easier, I believe what’s meant to be won’t pass you by.
Keep looking forward and no matter what keep smiling even if it hurts and your crying whilst smiling it helps the soul.
Thanks Caz. Means a lot. I am certainly seeing the relationship from a different perspective and discovering what went wrong. Although the parents were still a major factor, and who knows how long they had been pushing her to split.
Day 10 will feel good are you looking at his facebook for signs that he misses you? I am waiting to see if my ex unblocks me.
You will see things differently because you are looking from the outside in, her parents cannot control her forever she will end up resenting them.
I could wake up tomorrow and be back to the start but I can’t believe its day 10 and I haven’t text, I won’t lie I still get urges but I remind myself with what you said “become the hunted not the hunter” he’s completely blocked me so I have no idea which is better for me
Yes, I made her block me twice. I made other accounts, which is so bad. I had the account, which I was using when I saw that she didn’t block me. That is the same account I spoke to her parents on. I ended up calling them crazy and saying I didn’t want anything to do with their family and logged off. I then found they had blocked me. So I made a different account to send them a message of apology, and later sent them those bad messages.
I think we do need to become the hunted, but also be the prize and show them that we have changed at the same time. I no longer get urges to text. It is good that you are restraining yourself, keep it up! If you ever get a big urge, post here and then we can analyse it, if it helps.
