Maybe I should just quit while I’m ahead. I have read a bunch of articles that say no contact is not the way to go. Because as they say out of sight out of mind in a way. Particularly if there have been negatives right up until your breakup then they won’t really miss you. whereas if there are positive associations then no contact can make them miss you. So I don’t think we have any positive associations right now. When my ex broke up with me I did beg him a bit, but was no where near as desperate as last time and when I left our home we shared together I tried to leave in the best way possible. We were civil, gave each other a hug and I left him his present and letter. However I wouldn’t consider that positive memories in his mind.
There are many ways to winning ones heart, the best way to use is the one your heart wants to walk! Meaning listen to your heart and do what you think is best we will support you and listen to you when times get hard 
How can you wins one heart when it feels like he’s already gone ? Did yu read that website i linked you too at all ? There are some good articles however I’m not sure what route to take. I’m hoping this space where my ex hasn’t contacted me is just a cooling off period though and then perhaps we can build up again. Who knows right ?
Exactly no one knows, you should take the route that you are more comfortable with (i should of kept contact) yes i did read some but not all its pretty good stuff thanks you can win their hearts since youve done it before!
nattycatty1, you have to give it a “real” shot 100% regardless of what has happened… the last thing you need is to move down the road and have regrets looking back and thinking that you could have done more…
Right now I have people trying to “hook” me up with everybody, in an attempt to get me out of my funk… My mind is set, she’s the one for me and I’m going to put every effort I can into that…
That way, if things don’t work out for me… I’ll know in my mind and heart, I did everything I possibly could…
it appears to me that the things he has done, blocking you, not being at the house while you pack…etc. are not done out of cruelty, but more because he is trying to distance himself from the pain, you are still in this… you just have to be patient and figure out how to break through…
Ah @JAM818 thanks :). Your kind words mean a lot. Good on you for not giving up, the thing you have going for you is this is your first opportunity to try and win her back, unlike me. Whilst your career is a huge part of your life and travel is involved in that, you need to make some kind of gesture perhaps. Travel is not uncommon in a persons career and people always manage to sustain a relationship despite those factors. Perhaps her being a single mum of a child was difficult as she just wanted a partner and a father for her child (just taking a guess here, not too sure how involved the biological father might be). However it doesn’t still mean you can’t be that man :).
I also think you’re right, my ex is not a cruel man. He is wonderful with a big heart. Its just very hard as I have no idea how to “break through” again as you say. People say it had toxic components to it. And that we took each other for granted and so on. I however am looking at fixing a few key areas that made me unhappy. However I have no idea if that is enough given some of the things he said to me “I don’t love you like that anymore” and “these have been the worst two years of my life”. I don’t consider our relationship to be the worst at all. I have been going through such a bad point in my life that many aspects of it have been so shit but I’m still pushing along and I had many great times with him I look back on fondly.
In your situation It’s pretty much like any argument though, sometimes people say hurtful things in an attempt to evoke an emotional response, I’m sure that after he actually processed what he had said, there was immediate regret… This may be a factor in what has kept him from contacting you, he may feel that what was said may be irreversible… Given how much weight those words carry with them…
When my ex and I first started dating, she was an independent single mom that depended on nobody but herself. I didnt meet her son for awhile, she kept him guarded from meeting somebody that may or may not be a part of his life. Which I understand…
6yrs later… I truly do understand where my Ex is currently at in her life, she tells me that she’s focusing on her son and trying to work on herself which I respect. Because in all honesty, I took away the “Fire” that she once had… I basically took a Lion out of the wild and made her into a house cat. She was no longer the strong independent person that she was before, right now she is trying to find that person again, I just hope that when she does I can be there… Coincidentally she’ll turn 30 this year…
I think a main factor for him is that the arguing was so serious and we never got a chance to not live with each other and enjoy each others company again. He was quite the opposite of me but i feel we went together well emotionally and physically. However he said when he ended it we aren’t compatible :(. I just don’t know how to elicit these feelings out of him again.
And in regards to your ex I understand where she is coming from, I also used to be so independent and on my own all the time then i met him and he loved me so much and I had never experienced feelings like that so I fell hard and let him into every aspect of my life. Now that he’s gone I feel weak and alone. So perhaps you two need to be similar to me and my ex and work on your relationship apart, not living together and being so dependent on each other. Thats where you could perhaps point out your travel is useful. She still gets her space to be her own person and so on. My ex is also 30 almost 31 now :(. He’s acting very immature for a man of that age who goes about deleting me and a good mate of mine and even though he’s been in relationships before he’s acting so stupid.
For me, I wish my ex and I actually argued… As crazy as it sounds, it would have meant that we were still passionate about us and our relationship…
When we split up, she said that I feel like we should separate and I was like “OK” nothing…
No fighting no arguing no questions… Just OK…
Like I said before about your situation, he did those things to protect himself not to avoid you, as childish as it may seem. I did those same things basically, and I’m older than he is. For the same reasons though. I couldn’t bear to open FB and see that she had moved on or possibly be happy with someone else besides myself… It would be too much to handle…
Give it time, even more than you had before. That’s all you can do at this point…
Well yeah my arguing whilst it probably came across as an attack and really hurtful to someone who hates arguing I was just being a bitch pretty much cause I could. I could easily recover pretty much after a fight and keep on loving him however onviosuly the fighting worked in the reverse for him.
I know this is going to be a process as last time it took two months and this time even longer will be needed I just can’t really bear it. The fact he hasn’t even messaged yet or shown he cares really hurts. After we broke up I had to move back in with my dad and I’m very mad and upset cause he knows everything about my past and issues with my parents and yet I felt like I owed it to him to leave as quickly as possible to make life easy on him and now here I am even more unhappy in my life living with a suffocating man at age 23 and being treated like shit despite everything I’m going through. Sorry for the rant haha I just hate being back here and am even more upset this time around
I know you all are probably like man this girl is stupid stuffed up a second chance however this time I don’t think I’m all to blame. I take it upon myself to work on myself and I did that last time yet the same wasn’t done by him and in our relationship he didn’t try anything new eitheryet I still feel solely responsible even though I know I’m not and in angry I feel like this again
Do not blame yourself and you deserve to be with the one you love! We wont judge you we will support! If this helps you feel better listen to my mistake which took most of my chances away! When my ex left me i was so destroyed and lost and mad that i did not give her the pleasure of still havimg my shit at her house so i took all of my clothes from her house and brought it back to mine i even took the shirt of mine she enjoyed sleeping with! She was mad at me for doing that and im pretty sure its what cost me my last chances at winning her back! Because she was thinking of coming back 
Well, at the airport right now getting ready to fly out of here back home, in about an hour… I’ll be interested to see if while I was gone if she came by the house and grabbed more things…
I know that when you sign up for this site, you get occasional email advice… Have you read the “relationship rewind” program, that they suggest?
You’re right though, it has to be a two way street, you may have been able to improve yourself, but he may not have known to do the same, so… This may be the time…
Yes and you can get that relationship rewind free online just google it 
and its actualy pretty good
Its hard not to blame myself guys, the way my ex went about everything made it seem like it is all my fault. Like yeah I tried to change last time but we moved in to quick again and there were external factors in my life that affected the relationship but I did actually change some aspects.
Don’t worry Samuel its hard not to get angry at them for what they have done to us. I know I did that last time with my ex and even argued with him even though thats the reason he broke up with me and yet he still came back. So just keep positively working on yourself to be a better man.
Also JAM818 I have read relationship rewind and I know I’m on deaths doorstep pretty much for sure however it didn’t give me too much advice on how to get back from that particularly as its the worst step to be on. In regards to my ex he said the arguing changed who he was as a man, and perhaps it did make him unhappy and so on and he then said last years break up he got back to being the person he was. I really didn’t see a change though to be honest. I still loved the person he was no matter what. I just don’t know what to do especially cause I’m sure he’ll be back on tinder. He’s gotta be chatting to someone since he’s not talking to me right. And since he broke up with me that means he was already emotionally over the relationship meaning he can move on quicker hey ? I know men sometimes struggle to get over their relationship but this will make it easier won’t it ?
Safe travels JAM, jealous of you living in america and jetting all the time lol. Its now good friday here in Australia so I have the weekend off work
@nattycatty first of all every situation is different so i hope your right nut only time will tell if i have a chance or not and secondly if the guy really loved you you only need to give him time stop contacting him and he will talk to you again for sure! When a man loves they love forever thats how it is for me and all my guy friends its just that when they get hurt they are harder to convince 
you have to prove to him that your the better choice!
Oh I hope you’re right. He said he had never loved anyone like he did me but then when we break up he doesn’t love me anymore so who knows if that rule applies :/. How can you prove you’re the better choice when he won’t even contact me though :/.
By showing you dont need him, by being independant, by becoming even better looking then you are right now! Do squats make him cry over that ass 
shop for new clothes maybe even change your hairstyle! Try to do as if you were out of his league!
Hahah well everyone always said I was out of his league. I’m 23 and he’s 31, I’m on track for a good career at uni and stuff and he works in retail still and its balding. But I think he is beautiful anyway. And he was making moves for his career change and I was always by his side. I am already an avid gym goer haha but at the moment am struggling cause I feel weak cause I am struggling to eat cause of all the stress I am experiencing. I think I am already sort of showing him as its almost been a week and I haven’t contacted him, unlike me thats for sure. It was exactly a week last night that he broke up with me and a week tomorrow since I moved out and last saw him. I did go shopping yesterday and bought some great things but I still don’t feel better and I love shopping lol so that says a lot.
Keep your hopes up, because that is all you have at this point!! You need to create happiness for yourself, because there’s no way you’ll be able to get through this without being positive.
It’s going to take some time… You know this already, because you’ve done it before. You can’t beat yourself up everyday like this, it will just make each day feel 3x as long…
I got home alright, the Ex didn’t pick up anymore of her stuff, which is good I guess? I cooked dinner for the kid, just hanging out on the couch…