Yeah I’m trying to stay positive, I’m having wines with a few friends this afternoon. Coincidentally its the friend who is the only one of my friends my ex kept on fb and the friendship he almost ruined. I can’t get over how he did that hey. There are so many things he did that I don’t really understand why or how he could do that.
How does one overcome the barriers faced as a result of a second breakup, his best friend hating me and fully supporting the breakup and the fact he won’t even contact me, even to say thank you for me sending him money for bills on the house we used to share together. I didn’t have to do that but I wanted to to help him out.
And I guess thats a good sign, it can be an excuse for you to see her again if she does really want to pick it all up again
Retail therepy is the best, I found out quickly that it will make you broke though…
Found out some discouraging news about the Ex though tonight… It’s funny what you hear after things are over, people come out from everywhere to tell you things that you were better off not knowing…
I would have rather not have known… Now I’m questioning where I’m at…
What have you found out ? I have a feeling my ex is messaging other people and may even perhaps have a girl around. I remember there was this one girl last time that my exes best friend who hated me tried to push him onto. She’s even younger than me and he said she was pretty plain and boring. But now I’m not so sure. She’s a party girl and possibly a slut. I don’t know what to do feeling so anxious these days :/. Like why hasn’t he still messaged me? Its a public holiday here its not like he has much else to do. I can only assume he would have been playing playstation with his best mate as everyone here has the day off, but something deep down is making me wonder if he’s messaged this slut :/. She also knows me as we used to go to high school together but i doubt that would stop her as my ex has a great personality.
I had a friend point out a couple tonight and say that my Ex had gone home with them one night, after drinking. I approached them and asked them about it, they remembered her and told me nothing had happened, they just partied, but then said that some other guy took her home… His house? Our house? Arghhhhh… It’s unraveling quickly on me…
Oh I know how you feel man, I’m right there right now. But i think she would have way more respect for you to take him back to your house togethre. But you are also becoming very paranoid like me. I also don’t know how to control it. Its like did he really love me if he can move on so quickly.
Whats your thoughts on men and this particular scenario ? My ex has slept with probably 5 or so people and is almost 31. Thats pretty crazy but he’s very respectful and so on. But now I feel like he wants to get out and go sleeping with other women to be with his good friend who is almost as young as me and a massive player (even though he doesn’t live in the same town as us atm). What do you think? I’m so worried. I have been the only person he’s slept with in about at least 3 years even though we’ve only known each other for 2 years.
I’m like your Ex in that regards, the thing is… If that’s how he’s been his entire life, then that’s how he’ll be now, I would always be like I’m going out and doing whatever/whoever I want, then my morals kick in and I don’t…
Her on the other hand, she did whatever she wanted, with no regrets… Like I said before, strong independent woman before we got together, as well as the fact that she was 23 at the time…
I truly believe that nothing happened, but it’s disheartening to hear things like this, because then it makes you wonder “What Else” do I not know?
Some things are better off not knowing trust me i learned that the hard way with my ex and her new guy and it destroys you! You start thinking their over you and that you cant get them back but thats false! See you’re exes are trying to forget about the pain by drinking and going out or texting other people to maybe get into bed with them but trust me they will regret! It happened with my ex and she tries to stay in contact you guys are in an even better situation! No matter what they do they will feel empty without another person by their side and they will try to work on that void but only time can fix! All i can say is dont panic, keep improving and you’ll get em back believe me
yeah, samuel… the difference is that this stuff I’m finding out isn’t what she’s doing now, I literally have no idea what she’s doing now, it’s stuff that she was doing when we were together (engaged)
if this is the type of things she was doing when we were in a committed relationship, I can just imagine what’s she’s actually doing being completely free… so, I don’t think about that… or else I’ll go crazy… But it does bother me when I hear things that happened before the split…
Ohhh shiitt wtf shes not loyal bro! Thats fucked up you dont do that shit especialy of your engaged… but thats one thing that will always amaze me about love is that no matter what we will love the person even if they play in our backs or hurt us…
I mean I do understand it to a degree, given the fact that I basically poured my time and energy into work, being gone every week… I just flat out ignored her, she looked for “attention” elsewhere… because I wasn’t giving it to her… I’ve spoken to most of the people involved in what I was told by friends, and everybody has said that nothing had ever happened. So, I feel as if she was looking for an emotional “boost” and nothing really physical…
Okay that could be and i surely hope so but she will have some explaining to do still no? Or you will be able to move over that and start a fresh new relationship with her?
If we did work things out, everything I’ve heard, would have to be put out on the table, so that it’s addressed and put to rest before continuing on… I wouldn’t want to have doubts about anything that could possibly derail our progress down the road…
Step 1 - it’s actually got to get to that point before it could be adressed! which as of right now, I don’t see that happening anytime soon.
Yeah but his friends will be encouraging him to get out there, especially with this younger and prettier bitch than me haha. I don’t really think I’m like a lo of people here in Australia, I don’t sleep around and I loved to look after my man. Sure I may have argued with him, but literally the day we broke up I had been so busy in the kitchen making all these frozen meals for him to get him back on track to help him out with his gym progress as he was getting close to doing the physical for the cops and wanted to get stronger and leaner. I was always trying to be there and support him, it was just hard cause of how shit of a year I’ve had recently (many family, work and financial issues). My ex still hasn’t made contact and it’s been a week since I left our house we shared together. I wonder if he’s even surprised or even cares.
@JAM818, I bet thats hard, but don’t take it to heart, she is very young and i also used to consider leaving my ex cause I didn’t want to settle down so young and have only been with him. My views have now changed, but maybe she needed to get out there and test it as bad as that is because she is risking everything with you. Also if she was having an emotional relationship with someone else sometimes that can make you feel even worse because it can be easy to have a physical connection with someone so you might need to find that out cause she could have been emotionally cheating on you which you don’t deserve.
I don’t think that she was in an emotional relationship with anybody, just looking for the attention and having people “wanting her” kind of more along the line of self validation that she is still somebody to be desired…etc. like I said before I did a horrible job at this, given my time and energy were focused on my career instead…
Thats the tough balance though isn’t it. Cause if you didn’t work enough and didn’t make enough she wouldn’t consider you as able to provide for her and her child.
I’m feeling really down. I’m about to go to work and I’m just thinking back to two weeks ago when things were good for my partner and I and I used to leave before it was even light. He used to be so cute. I think he’s truly trying to move on from me. Which is hard to believe because he said he had never loved anyone like me. Obviously long ago so it probably still doesn’t apply now. I’m just worried cause of his friends in his ears saying I’m so terrible and so on when they don’t know me or what i went through this last year. And this other chick who is even younger, prettier and thinner than me
Maybe he is just focusing on his new career and trying to put his energy and attention into that right now? after it is all said and done, that’s probably when you should start working on how to get him back… anything right now may just be a distraction for him, that may be why he is shutting you out?
But I was supporting him on working towards that. It doesn’t make much sense. I was his biggest supporter in that. And it could be a while away until he fully makes it through all the steps. As he is trying to become a cop he is only up to doing the physical test, which he has been concerned about since he started applying which is why he’s been working so hard at the gym, and I tried to help him out by making meals so he could lose some weight and so on. He must feel that theres someone truly better out there for him and the support of his friends is enough I guess Why else would he do this
Yeah, but your support for him during this, although great, came with some distractions as well, ie: the arguing/fighting which is why he may not be contacting you at this point in time. He may have it in his head that he needs to focus on this “one” thing right now and we all know by reading all of these websites the more clingy, needy, pushy etc. we become, the further we push them away… From what you have said about him, he doesn’t seem like he’ll be out at the club picking up a bunch of one night stands… So, the only thing I can come up with is that he’s maybe putting more focus on his goals and this one is probably priority number one right now…
Well I hope that’s the case cause I really hope he succeeds in this career. It’s taken a lot for him to move forward and take this step at his age so it’s great I think. I hope you’re right but I’m worried that with no contact the “out of sight out of mind” thing will apply and he’ll forget all about me. He will need to contact me soon as we still have things to finalise because some of the things I had are still in the rental house we shared but I forgot in a rush as I moved out. But I doubt that contact will mean mich. I mean last time he knew he missed me and was always talking to me but this time its not the same cause I haven’t heard a work. It took him two months last time to want to get back together with me and during that time he messed me around a bit so I doubt he would do the saw again. Especially if his friends are against us being together ?
Well fuck. I’m almost near positive my ex spent the night with the girl who i used to go to high school with. He’s almost 31 and she’s younger than me at 22.
