She told me she missed me and that she is afraid of her boyfriend not accepting her once she discloses her insecurities to him
the entire post can be found on my profile titled
‘I told I need space yet she still pops up’
If I were you, I wouldn’t respond Arjun.
Look at what she is saying! I made that mistake, man. Do not respond. Do not be her comfort so she feels better going into a deeper relationship with the new guy…
did you read the other post 
the entire conversation actually ill just post it here
so she reached out to me a on Saturday saying:
‘Hey don’t Ignore me :(‘
‘You didn’t even reply to my other messages 
:|’
I read these messages on Sunday and she then said ‘:|’ and I read that message to which she then said ‘You’re just being hella rude now’
I couldn’t take that the she was still reaching out to me so I had to just tell her that I asked for space. I asked why she is still popping up to me despite her telling me that she was alright with the whole needing distance and she replied ‘well I didn’t know it was this long’ so I replied ‘hmm well it’ll take quite a bit of time’ and she replied ‘well I miss you’, I then said ‘Im just accepting the break up tbh’ and she said ‘Yh I know’ ‘But I still miss you’
She eventually told me how she is stressed because her boyfriend doesnt know about her insecurities and that she’s scared how he is going to react. She told me how it was different for me and her because I knew her insecurities before we got together whereas with this guy she said that ‘He seems good with stuff he’s seen like my scars he was perfectly okay but what if he cant handle the fact that I’m still doing it or that I still feel the same’. I told her that if he handles it well then he’s good whereas if he doesnt handle it well then he’s clearly not good in the long run.
I then just ended the conversation and told her good luck so that she would reply and would have the last say.
I have no idea what I have to do from now onwards because the only reason that I gave her that advice was because at one point I was constantly saying how I was just accepting the relationship and how its her problems. She told me she feels like she lost one of her ‘fucking best friends’ I said I cant do anything because she is now her and I am me, we are no longer together. To which she replied ‘you’re just being a prick’ so I felt all defensive and had to be nice so that she wouldn’t have a bad image of me. I wanted to keep a positive image in her mind regarding what she thinks of me, I want her to think positive of me as opposed to being a ‘prick’ in her eyes.
What do I even do to get the power back in my court from now. I am still working on myself but regarding working towards reconciliation whats next.
While she has a boyfriend, don’t even think about responding
Get your own life together, and if she really wants to be with you she’ll break up with him first.
I don’t want her to think I’ve changed for the worse and take this ignorance as a negative sign that I’ve become a different person in a bad way
need advice people 
You’re only showing her that you are independent of what she believes you should be. What she is doing isn’t healthy for you in the long or short run.
She only wants you around as a friend because you accept her flaws. You know all of her flaws, and she wants you around to boost her ego while she tests the waters with this other guy.
She left you. You don’t owe her anything. At all. You asked for space. If she says you’re being rude or a prick… tell her that you need space and time. That you have a lot going on right now, and that you wish her well, but that you need her to respect your space. That should be it.
If you want to friend-zone yourself. Go ahead. But she really needs to know that aren’t just going to be on standby whenever she needs a boost of confidence.
And of course she misses you…but look at what she’s saying.
What if she says what do I need so much time for? without making it seem as though I need time simply because I am emotionally effected from the break up.
So I should just let her suffer all the hardships with this relationship and not be there for her is what you’re saying?
Then in that case, she will just think I’m a total bitch and that the desire to get back with me will get weaker and weaker which is why I am ultimately confused.
Arjun im in the same situation. My ex told me she misses me and asked if i miss her too. I have no idea what to reply.
I think you should be good to her. Ive read relationship rewind
. What i can tell you is be a fake friend and dont say anything negative about the guy. Infact you should take his side often but still be good to her.
idk if thats a good thing to do
I’m going to put relationship rewind aside and im going to tell you this.
Some questions are ledt best unanswered. She in some way wants to seek comfort from you and she will do so even after revealing her insecurities to the other guy. Tgus using you as “fuel” for her relationship. Just back off and dont look threatened by her new boyfriend. Tell her you are happy for her. Dont compete with the other guy.
*left *thus
You should listen to LAbound
It’s up to you what you do, but by the looks of it it’s obvious that you don’t have your emotions under control.
That and the huge factor that she has a new boyfriend should be reason enough to be firm and say that you need space.
Try to stop worrying about her and focus on yourself and the future. If she has any maturity she will understand what breaking up with someone means, and stringing someone along is not good enough.
You sound like a very caring person and you’re doing well considering, but focusing on yourself and your own happiness is the best thing you can do right now (not to mention emotional stability and improvement will only help your chances in the future when you’re ready to talk to her).
Be happy and stay strong
That isn’t fair that she is still asking for comfort from me but I ma just scared if she thinks I have changed for the worse after the break up. I just don’t want to rid the thought in her mind that getting back with me would be a bad idea.
She may think I don’t even care about her enough to want to get back with her.
Thats what Im scared of
To be blunt, being a doormat will damage your chances more than disappearing will.
I know I offered support, by doing that I am basically comforting her and letting her know I’m still there for her right. Which is bad I’m guessing in this current situation right?
The main thing is that she has a new boyfriend. I think it’s disrespectful to you, maybe she can’t see it but you deserve better than to be her emotional support while she’s choosing to be with someone else.
Would you expect her to be the same if the roles were reversed?
no she does ask me if theres anyone new in my life why does she care? i told her I’m taking it slow and she goes oh thats understandable.
So I should just ignore her no matter what she goes through.
Is it possible that her boyfriend doesnt give her the same emotional support as me which is why she keeps coming to me for emotional support ? which will ultimately keep her in the relationship because she isn’t aware that without me she basically has no support ?
Arjun, you seem like a nice guy but the best thing to do is just No Contact. Its seems like she does miss you and thinks about you so do NC. It will keep her guessing and wondering and want you more not just for emotional support.
so should I initiate 1 month NC again ? or just carry on until she reaches out?
Thanks