As long as possible.
Improve yourself, go out on dates. Dont block her just go on with your life. Also read books/novels. Just do new stuff.
She told you she misses you, just know she is thinking about you. NC is key, Arjun!
yeah when she told me she misses me I felt good but I then straight away just said to myself that she doesnt miss me but she just misses my emotional support and my company
i don’t think she misses what we had.
When you say as long as possible, is that until I feel I am a better person or just as however long I can keep up with NC without breaking down ?
First how long were you together?
2 years
Dude, she misses you. Shes told you that twice as per your texts.
Do no contact until you get yourself together and you are happy again. Dont conatact her at all cosrs. She will want you back.
Stay positive. If you break down we are here for you. Dont contact her even a simple hi. Its no problem if you think about her coz she’s also thinking about you.
We’ll help you through this, even on your first contact with her.
I heard that with most things, success is 80% mindset and 20% strategy
Do what’s best for you and what makes you happy, life’s too short to stress over things like this.
Easier said than done, but just do what’s best for yourself in the long run and the right people will enter and stay in your life.
So if she reaches out then just basically leave her alone to suffer whatever she is going through with this guy?
What if she thinks I’m a total bitch and that I have changed 
then what ?
Im scared that is going to happen
and woow you guys are amazing 
thanks so much
How exactly is she suffering in her new relationship?
Well I was speaking hypothetically but in the conversation where she told me she missed me. I said ‘well you’re man can probably make it better’ to which she replied ‘Idk nah man I don’t know’ and I said sorry that I am sticking to my decision of not talking to her (this was after she told me she missed me) and that this whole stress is going to continue and she said ‘Well I don’t know cause I don’t want to tell him’.
I still had no idea what the problem was lol but then she opened up to me telling’I don’t know, you at least knew everything before we went out, he doesnt’ to which I replied ‘wadya mean’. She said ‘You knew me right, before we out my issues or whatever’, I said ‘okay…’ she goes ‘Don’t you get it, how am I supposed to tell him then’
It was going back and forth with replies saying I cant be here as a support and then she told me she has been having this stress for ‘ages’. She then told me eventually that
‘Im feeling really shit about everything and I know I’m just pushing him away as well cause I don’t talk to him properly and he probably has no idea whats up’
So these are some of the problems I’m referring to when I say when she is suffering but I am more focusing on problems in the future like if she has no emotional support I’m scared what will happen to her because with me I was there for her when she needed me and Im scared he wont be able to provide the emotional support for her when she’s stressing out by herself.
At one point we were different religions, and knew we would eventually have to end it and go our separate ways because we weren’t the same religion and then we spoke about how we would still be best friends and stuff. Then I took an interest into her religion and our future became visible and actually possible but we still always said if anything happens we will still be the same really close funny best friends and so to take this away from her and rid her of our closeness she thought we would have after our break up kinda hurts
Now i get it.
Good signs right there! She’s thinking about the moments she had with you. Now shes trying to find you in this guy which is impossible.
What if she tells him her insecurities and he embraces it she will have no problem with him then and everything will get better between them
How is it good signs though because this is just one obstacle and once its overcome then nothing will be a problem then.
About her insecurities i dont think you can do much about it if she decides to sgare them. If they are together then she will.
Its a good sign because she’s trying to find you in this guy. Thats why she ends up coming to you for emotional support something which is nonexistent in her current relationship.
Starve her off it and i dont think that relationship will last. How do you starve her off it? Do NC. Put ypurself and your happiness first not hers.
so if she reaches out to me then I should just ignore her regardless of what she says.
I want to ignore her fully but I want her to know I’m still that caring person I was when we were together but right now she may misunderstand this ignorance to be a case of me changing for the worse and becoming someone totally different how do I stop her from thinking I am changing for the worse
Try sending a final cryptic message. Showing that you still care for her. Then do NC. Its not the last time you’ll ever talk to her again. Rather you are going to make yourself better then contact her when the perod is over.
what should I be including in the message? but if i say i care for her and then do NC wont she think its bait of mixed signals ?
No contact will make her think about you more and give her and you time tothibk things over.
Infact write a letter inatead of a cryptic message. Write what you feel but dont tell her you are going to do no contact.
Time to think things over
she will ask stuff like
what kind of things ?
how long will I need to myself ?
Make up an excuse like school and stuff like that and dont give a definite time frame.
Tell her you did love her. Deflect blame for the break up away from you by showing that yoi did love her.
Next talk about your special moments, those where you felt you were truly in love. Talk about how her goals for her future inspire you everyday and you care about them.
Then you can conclude.
Dont tell her you are going to do NC.
so ill post my letter on a new thread and get a lot of feedback on it email me IamKramer you have been of great help and would love to have a method of contact with you in dire need lol. [email protected]