It’s funny how my feelings for him keep changing everytime, one moment I really miss him and in the other I’m angry about him and feeling like I should give up.
His letter hasn’t arrived yet, but he told me on the phone the other day that he already said most of the stuff from the letter, so I guess it’s just a formal letter.
Since then we’ve talked on the phone and messaging sometimes, he initiated a conversation once, sent me some photos I asked from the show we went to, and told me he couldn’t meet on that day because he was working late, he answers right after I call or text him, also he commented on my post on facebook, (I posted a picture of a cake I made and his comment was “Amazing Cake!”), We’ve planned to meet up this week but he works all week in the evenings so he offered to meet in the morning but I work in the mornings, so I said I prefer in the evening and he said he’ll update me when he can.
I’m really confused, my friend says he’s just being friendly but I can feel the change in his voice and in the way he’s talking to me. He doesn’t have to meet me but I can see that he’s really trying and wanting to, I don’t know maybe this is just my imagination but I’m confused…
@oshi@Mj not doing well today guys… this weekend has been awful!
My ex was starting to message me more etc, thought we were making progress, was telling me things he missed, and being a bit more chatty. Then yesterday it all went wrong. As usual I got “I’m glad you are ok” honestly cannot tell you how many times I have heard this. Then spent the next hour telling me how good he was, how ok he was, he was fine without me. then somehow the conversation escalated and he was then saying that he was getting p*ssed coz it sounded like I was trying to justify us getting back together, and that he’s glad I’m ok now but it doesn’t change how he feels about us, that he can’t give a definitive answer as to whether he will ever change his mind but he doesn’t want me waiting around for him. So I tried to be cool and say I wasn’t justifying anything, I hadn’t even said anything about getting back together, I just wouldn’t rule it out completely, and that I wouldn’t wait around for him. I don’t know if that was the right thing but we haven’t spoken since. That was yesterday afternoon. I’m now back to NC again… and it sucks. Not really sure what happened!!
@Mj I really don’t know. I didn’t think I had initiated any conversation but maybe I did without realising it. I have deleted the conversation now so I can’t see. I’m just really confused. I still think he is just being stubborn and can’t admit to his feelings at the moment. So am now back to square one again, no contact again… and it’s killing me already! But I have to do it for my own good. And think he’s gotta realise it too. We’ve been speaking more and more and I think the shock of me not talking to him will make him wonder a little bit, but again I could be wrong about that!! I don’t know, opinions welcome!
I think it has to have some impact of some kind. It may not be the pinnacle “getting her back” moment, but it is a good start. Just don’t ruin it afterwards like I did lol
This will probably be the last letter I’ll ever write to you. Since our time apart I had a lot of time to think about our relationship, you and more importantly about myself and my behaviour.
I still miss you, you know. Dream of you, even. I miss the smell of your hair. The times when we laugh at our own jokes. The way you get all worked up playing Fruit Ninja. That look that you have when you have your glasses on. It makes me want to stare at you forever. The things we did and said keep coming back to me and make me smile again.
You were so many things to me. Not only have I lost my love, I lost my best friend and a confidant. You were my source of strength still as I was yours. The only thing that I could think of during my mini-surgeries was of you (might not have been anything major but it still hurt like a b***h).
Now all that is left for me are these memories. And we will never get to create more ever again. Memories as friends, yes, but not ones like these. It sucks to be missing out so much on your life.
No one’s perfect, but it was the fact that you have flaws and imperfections that made me fall in love with you. You show true beauty and intelligence during our most intimate moments. I’m very sure there will be no other girl just like you, and for that I hope that you stay as who you are, and live your life for to the fullest.
I hope that we have taught one another valuable lessons and I’m thankful for the lessons I’ve learned from you. And I’m glad we can still spend time together as friends. Nothing will ever stay the same but I’d definitely do it all over again. Maybe one day we will find each other again.
Always remember that there is someone out there that loves you.
You got a response, that’s a start! How’s it going with your letter?