@KD1988 My ex’s letter still hasn’t arrived as well, I’m checking my mailbox every hour and watching the door in case the postman will arrive LOL, I can’t keep up like this! can’t sleep well at night, I know the letter wouldn’t change anything but deep inside I keep hoping but I know I shouldn’t :\
We’ve also talked on the phone this weekend and had a nice conversation, he seemed interested in talking and I felt some change in his voice and the way he talked but maybe that’s just my imagination.
I guess we just have to wait till tomorrow and see what happens. At least we know that we’ve tried everything we could. I’m wishing you the best of luck!
@Mj I just feel a bit broken this morning. I’ll read it and see what it says. If I feel it needs replying to then I will, if not, then I will go on no contact again. I think that’s gonna have to be it now. Time to try and give up and move on. We’ve spoken a lot more lately, and that hasn’t helped me at all. I was doing ok and now feel back to square one again!
Yeah I’m putting way too much hope into all of it. TIME is the key thing I know this, whether it’s moving on or getting back together eventually. I just need to calm down, can feel my heart racing and I just need to stop it. It’s NOT the end of the world, I can cope and I can be happy without him. I just WANT to be happy WITH him lol
I feel a bit clearer now, thanks @Mj
Just trying to get my clear head on.
I just have to remember that it was beyond my control why I changed the way I did, and that he left me when I needed him the most and just gave up on me and wasn’t willing to fight for me. Now I’m sorted, it would be fine, but it’s not enough for just me to think that.
He basically said thank you for writing a letter, not many people do that these days. He didn’t want me to apologise for how I reacted to him ending it and he wanted to apologise to me for not having enough courage. He said I was a great girl, listed some things he liked about me. that he is glad that I’m doing well now and getting support. Wanted me to pass on a message to my mum that he was grateful that she always made him feel so welcome in the family and for trusting him to look after her beautiful girl (his words, not mine lol) he still stands by his choice though. That we were friends as well as bf/gf and that if I ever want to talk to him he will always reply and maybe in time we can meet up and catch up.
Then almost as soon as I finished reading it he called me. He asked if I’d got the letter and I said yes but I didn’t tell you because you asked me not to tell you when I’d got it. He asked what I thought of it I said it was nice and thanked him for it (was trying to be cool). I mentioned the meeting up thing, and he didn’t let me finish before he said that he wants to but not yet. It kind of threw me off a bit and I asked why not, he said he can’t yet, when he feels ok to do so then he will tell me. Which makes me think he’s not quite over me yet? Which also makes me want to see him more before he gets over me lol.
He has since text me saying “I mean this. The part of me that was yours, will always be yours. You are a fab girl and very special to me x”
@Mj yeah I definitely thought that he would just say what he said when we broke up and that would of really hurt me. I’m ok with the letter, but probably because of the phone call. The phone call I could hear something in him that you don’t get from a text or an email, and it was nice. It’s made me feel a lot calmer about things and that I am ok without him for now. It is nice to think that he still cares for me and HE is the one that couldn’t meet up. I could be wrong about the reasons why but it makes me feel better lol
