At this point my ego is the only thing that’s making me think I want her back. It’s more me wishing her new relationship would fail because it’s already as long as ours was but things seem to be perfect for her.
I’m still on kik if you want to chat
Day 28…
Oh my gosh… whole lifetime happened through this 28 days. A whole spectre of emotions, ups and downs, panicking and new-found confidence, highs and lows, emotional rollercoaster at it’s finest.
I can say that I’m feeling fine but atm, but I can as soon as tomorrow feel like s**t. My moods are swingy as hell.
I’m not so sure that I want him back anymore. I definitely CAN leave without him. I don’t know. I feel in a way my journey took too long and too far only to come back to the starting point, to him. I think he isn’t enough tempting prize for all of this work I did and am still doing on myself.
He left me when I was at the lowest. He saw my pain, my tears and desperation and decided to do nothing. I could have died and he wouldn’t care.
That kind of man has no space in my life.
I think about that often.
Only because of that (that he knew how devastated I was, and didn’t care), makes me think less of him. He isn’t worthy of my love. And I really can love a lot and give plenty.
This is not final, I still have to think about it. But I’m defininitely doing better.
Well. It’s been a long time since I don’t write here. I am needing as much help as possible. PLEASE
My ex and I kept in contact after the breakup, it’s been 5 months. We never met for a coffee as he promised several times. bear in mind that we broke up because he was moving to NYC and I was supposed to stay in Miami… that’s what he said at that time.
After that I had an offer to come and work to NYC as well and I accepted since the job and salary were so good… It took a huge toll for me to accept since I did not want him to think that I was accepting to retrieve our relationship, or giving us a second opportunity… However I faced the problem by letting him know that I work here now and that I am settling down for a bit. I let him know because I thought it was immature not doing it and bumping into him one random morning in the subway…
He texted me a month ago and asked me how I was, and explained me that his life has been crazy for the last few weeks. That was all. I replied explaining him that I am busy too, that I have been looking for a rent here in Manhattan, blah blah blah…
He has not replied or said anything else… He has been in a hook up app!
This is killing me. I don’t know if I will ever see him again… and we are in the same city! I feel so frustrated… On one hand I don’t want to push him by saying anything. He is so hermetic but I think I deserve at least being asked how am I doing, this is a new city and I am not even American! On the other, I would like to let him know how I really feel. Can’t get him out of my heart and head. Please advise me!!!
Hmm haven’t been here in awhile. Well it’s been five months post break up and I’m doing just fine. I stopped talking to him 3 weeks ago when the person that was once my best friend confirmed they hooked up. Funny how he claimed that if I loved him I wouldn’t hang out with this mutual friend of ours, yet it was fine for him to do as he pleased. I feel his pride was stepped on by me not giving a damn. Anyways We (friends family and I) all saw it coming and though they had denied it time and again we all knew.
I told him he wasn’t a very good person and this wasn’t out of anger it was just the truth he needed to hear.
Turns out they had hooked up before our break up signifying that he cheated more than the one time he told me.
Not surprised, he is that type of person very in for himself much like my one time friend.
I don’t want him back and I don’t wish mal intent. I don’t think their relationship will work since she’s leaving though and well if they cheated on my what’s to stop them from doing it again? Either way I don’t butt in.
Though he contacted me while I was out of town wishing me a good trip. I responded with a thanks but nothing more. I may still be in his mind but oh well.
We all went to Vegas (EDC) a month and half ago, he got pretty trashed and flirted with me and tried things. Including trying to comfort me and kiss me. I didn’t allow it because I wasn’t going to be like them. If he’s with someone then he shouldn’t be doing that but that is for them to figure out. Though i don’t think this friend knows he tried that with me as she wasn’t ever around for it.
So yeah that’s my story so far. I’m currently applying to new schools to farther my degree and I’m back to my pre dating weight 
18 days of NC.
I don’t panick and I am pretty sure I won’t talk to him for at least 30-40 days (I am proud and stubborn enough to not let me do it).
However, I am struggling a lot with memories. Everytime I put my head in the pillow, I immediately start thinking about us being together, the good times etc and it hurts really bad. At first, I was missing him as a personality, his voice, his presence. Now I’m also craving his kiss, his touch and sex. I don’t cry anymore (not everyday), but it seems like the pain isn’t relieving.
Thank you guys!
She broke up with me since 20 days before. The first reason she gave me.was dat my family wont agree to this marriage but I used to always convince her that everything will be alright… we will convince them … during this period she did not contact me. only I used to contact her. after that she says that I cannot come and leave in
ur city as I dont have any scope in ur lcity and my career will get spoiled.
but wen we wer in relation she told.me
that city is not the problem, I can adjust everywhere and now suddenly city
has become.imp issue to her
since 4 days I havent contacted her. She keeps on changing her fb profile.pics and whatsapp dp… which disturbs me a lot… she looks unaffected by this… everything was nice between us… v used to talk, getting physical… everything and suddenly she told.about this. she is sister of my brother in law
Every night i woke up and check my mobile just to see is she has messaged me anything, i keep on visiing her fb profile and whatsapp last seen. all the memories v had really haunts me. it make me cry … it will be my birthday in 10 days and i hope she will atleast call me on my birthday… one day wen everything was nice between us v talked about it… dat wat if we broke up and its my birthday… will u wish me… and now wat we talked is happening in real life.
On friendships day she message me happy friendships day and i replied by just sending a smiley
Day 29.
I’m fine. Still thinking of him, but the thought of him isn’t causing me pain any more. I’d say I’m nearly on a halfway of my recovery from this break up. Everything is going even better than I expected.
This forum helps a lot. Keeping myself occupied with studying/ socializing/ cleaning/ watching series helps. Shifting focus is the key really, as I wrote earlier.
I’m lucky that it’s summer. If he left me during the winted I would be even more fu**ed up. Sunny weather doesn’t allow me being sad for too long.
Reading all your stories helped me put my story in a perspective. Some of you have ended relationships that lasted for decades; some have kids; some had cheating boyfriends; some have exes who have new girlfriends or even wives. Comparing to them, my problem, my “big love story” doesn’t seem that big anymore. And my problems seem minor comparing to some.
World hasn’t ended since we broke up. Life hasn’t stop. Earth is still spinning, people go around doing their bussiness. It’s not the end of anything. -Just of one small, tiny part of my life (only year and a half).
Life goes on. All is well.
Some days are okay, but then others are unbearable. I have had trouble sleeping everyday now. I woke up way before my alarm today and my mind just keeps racing. I can’t believe he hasn’t contacted me. There are so many things going on in my life that he knew about, and I can’t believe he hasn’t checked up to at least see how everything is going.
I know this isn’t the end of the world, but I could really use my best friend to tackle all that’s going on.
Hey I have reinstalled kik (username: martin92ex) , i had to get a new one as I forgot the previous one’s login id.
I understand what you mean by the ego thing, I kinda have it to but I am not really sure. I told myself that because I love her, I’d let her go as I want her to be happy.
Hey Everyone,
Feel free to add me up on kik too if you guys want and keep your chin up, you all will eventually heal, there will be scars but it will make you stronger. I can tell this from first hand experience.
Hey @nycor
Yeah for him to have said that and put conditions on you is completely unfair. In a way its good he did it because it shows that he has a controlling and manipulative behaviour; you don’t want this in your future partner. But you should hang out with whoever you please! “There are no strings on you!”. Do as you please and please whoever you want. Your friends won’t care but it will get on his nerves which is probably a good thing. Let him create the drama and show everyone his awful nature.
But yeah, I know you may not like it for telling this but it’s definitely a blessing to that the relationship ended. All break ups are hard and you may never ever forget but there’s all way hope for better love. A love that is loyal, true and makes you feel light. There’s a saying that once a cheater, always a cheater.
So good on you, seems like you are back in action!
Hey everybody, good to be back!!
I can tell you that thank heavens and a great guy I met I have moved on forever. I still think of him sometimes, specially since I am doing a lot of music and Cosplay projects, things that I rediscovered in my life thanks to him. I am grateful for what I gained and learned from being with him, but even when I did not want to let him go, I knew I had to let him go no matter how painful this was going to be. Turns out that I connected with a mutual friend from Dallas, he came to PR, we spend a week together and we had such an amazing time that we are considering taking the relationship a step further. We talk every day on the phone and I am going to visit him for my bday weekend on Aug 28. He is 5 years my senior, and he is very mature and fun, and hot!! He has a kid that lives in CA. Everything flowed so smoothly between us that we dod not evrn had to talk or say anything to know what to do. Its soooo relieving when you dont have to struggle to get across to the other person. I am very happy now, and most important I stepped out of the shadow of my ex and now me and my life, my stuff are yhe ines in the spotlight. Hope ypu all keep doing great.
Hope 54, I read this comment and thought so much of my current situation. I feel exactly the same way, but I am not as stubborn as you are… I CAN’T believe that he has not asked me how I am doing… for many reasons. Will try to keep some distance between us for a bit longer. Let’s see how it goes.
Thanks.
Hey, Good on you. Yeah I have kinda moved on too…tbh I think its actually impossible to move on fully so its normal that you still think about him. Yesterday I found out that she was going on holiday with guy 2 (the second guy she started seeing after the break up with me) to paris. In my head going on holiday with someone within 3 months is kind of too soon but I guess everyone has a different opinion to that. On the top of that Paris was the last place we visited together as a couple so not sure how that’s going to work out for her.
About Relapsing…the period gets shorter…you will always relapse but you will recover much more quickly after each time.
A quote from Maroon 5’s Payphone song:
You turned out the lights
Now I’m paralyzed
Still stuck in that time when we called it love
But even the sun sets in paradise
Live long and Prosper @Carmine828
P.S do pop back here to say hi once in a while if you can
Also @confusedbutok and myself are on kik (username: martin92ex)
When I read these stories I find similarities with mine and it’s good to know I’m not alone with these struggles. I feel all of yours pain. I’ve been on a couple of dates since she broke up with me. I’ve had some good times but I did miss my ex after they were over. My ex found out about one and lost it on me, yet she dumped me and she’s seeing someone. That’s when I broke NC but I was political with her and just told her my life is none of her business and that I needed the space now and it wouldn’t be a good idea if we saw each other on occasion. I felt it wasn’t good for my mental health. I’m starting to see how selfish she was in our relationship. She’s the one that needs to change and not me. I put her first always and she didn’t always put me first. I paid for dinners, I took her on vacations, etc. I deserve better.
My main struggles are am I just addicted to her like a drug or am I truly still in love with her still?
Oh I was aware of his controlling nature at first it didn’t seem troubling until later in the relationship. It’s one factor and his “friendly” ways that made me break it off. And yeah I do what I want though we still see each other as we all have mutual friends. You’d think they would see he’s bad and stop associating for his behavior but they won’t so I just ignore him. Though they all agree he isn’t a very good person for doing that to me.
I think it hurts him that I don’t talk to him. Hence why he texted me while on my vacay. And yeah about that friend… Idk we kinda hit it off after that night my ex got jealous. Sadly he lives far away and well I don’t want long distance though we used to talk all the time. Now eh he’s just back to being a friend. Good way to just realize you can feel for others.
And yeah I know things get better. Always stay positive and they’ll see you’re ok without them. Only thing is people warm me he may try to come back when that girl leaves (if he doesn’t go w her of course lol) seeing as he still flirts with me when she’s not around and that he hasn’t really done that “want you back” stage (according to others)… I don’t think that girl likes me now haha but alas I cannot make people like me because of other people’s faults. Probably why she told me they were “officially together”. At this point I just laugh at the matter.
Day 4, i am okay! it is hard because we were together over 8 years. do i see us get back together? well knowing her, she is very inflexible! but we’ll see the power of NC! wouldn’t we??
Day 31? 32?
Well, NC worked for me. I’m out of love. I don’t need or want or love or crave him any longer.
He’s picture in my mind will fade until it disappears. I won('t torment myself any longer, it’s been enough.
I’m done. I won’t contact him ever again.
My heart has been broken so many fucking times. I’ve been taken advantage of, forced to have an abortion, yelled at and abused, sexually assaulted, lied to, cheated on emotionally… I’m freakin done. Can’t do it any longer.
Over and out.
I feel like I’ve just avoke from a nightmare. My head is clear.
I wouldn’t call it a rebound but today I’ve been intimate with another person and feel a million times better.
#thebitchisback 
All one!
good for you!! you shouldn’t even want him given that what you said here is true and he did all that!
i am on day 5th of NC and still holding hope that just maybe we get back together! but i hope that i can be as strong and be able to move on!
she wasn’t herself, she didn’t want to do but something else, inside of her, was pushing her! like she mentally wanted to break it up but she had such strong feelings for me still.
anyways, this is all about you and having a #thebitchisback today! good luck! 
It was not all him, what I wrote, but all of my past relationships. I entered all my relationships with 100% of trust, love, patience and will that it works out. I gave my time, energy, love, trust, hopes, money, my body- all of me, everything that I had and I was. And for what? Only to be treated so horribly.
I can say that men treated me very very poorly. And that love didn’t hold its promises. I feel broken, but the lesson is learned. I can only trust and love myself. Others will eventually hurt and leave me no matter how hard I try.