I don’t know what I should advice you either…give it some time maybe? Dunno… She seems to be struggling emotionally.
As for me, it’s been 6 months exactly tomorrow since I last saw her and even though I know they are fine and living together and stuff…I still miss her and lately I’ve been dreaming so much with her that it’s not even funny. Is this ever going to be gone…
We broke up May 13th after being together for almost three years. Of course, I did all the desperate and needy stuff. Before discovering this site, I told her I would not contact her for at least two weeks and after that, I would keep going.
June 30th will be two weeks of NC. Is NC pointless since I told her I would not contact her? Or should NC go longer?
I try not to think about it so much but I have been having a lot of dreams with her in them and it makes me want to just contact though I never do contact because I know it’s all mind games.
Just need some help here on what to do?
Wow,@martin, @archola, good to see you!
I have been off almost 9 months, and althougg I have heard he has asked for me, I no longer want him back. I know that if I see him again in person I may have second thoughts but I keep thinking all the bad stuff he had done simce the begining of our relationship and those traits he wont change. I wont give him a third opportunity to get away with his imbecility and selfishness. Right now I am still seeing this guy I met at the gym once a week. We joke a lot and he gives me great advice. Only problem is he is still in a messy relationship with a clinging girlfriend he has broke off with a zillion times. He feels guilty because she tried to kill herself and he is slowly drifting away from her to avoid a bigger mess. But thats not because of me solely, I mean we havent spoken about anything serious. We just give love and support to each other. I am sometimes having a great time and start thinking "damn! Why all this great time could not be spent with him, my ex? Most probably I had to break free from that bad relationship to have all the great times I am having, sont know. I moss him sometimes, and I also cry every now and then. But I convinced myself not to look back. And I think you guys should do the same, try to get to someone new, even if in the begining is not the same perfect relationship we all thought we had with our exes, or what we would want for ever, but ot helps tons, it has worked for me, even though I swore I would never be on rebounds. Dont force it,just be open to the possibilities and the right one will approach you. It happened to me, i had been seeing this guy at the gym for at least one year but was blinded by my pain and suffering the loss of my 8 year relationship. For every thing there is a season they say.
Well. It’s been a long time since I don’t write here. I am needing as much help as possible. PLEASE
My ex and I kept in contact after the breakup for two months. We never met for that coffee, it was all crazy and cold I must say, it was all text messages during and after breaking up.
Remind please that we broke up because he was moving to NYC and I was supposed to stay in Miami… that’s what he said at that time.
After that I had an offer to come and work to NYC as well and I accepted since the job and salary were so good… It took a huge toll for me to accept since I did not want him to think that I was accepting to retrieve our relationship, or giving us a second opportunity… However I faced the problem by letting him know that I work here now and that I am settling down for a bit. I let him know because I thought it was immature not doing it and meet him one random morning in the subway…
He texted me like four days ago and asked me how I was, and explained me that his life has been crazy for the last few weeks. That was all. I replied explaining him that I am busy too, on top looking for a rent here in Manhattan, blah blah blah…
He has not replied or said anything else… he is just in Grindr all the time.
This is killing me. I don’t know if I will ever see him again… and we are in the same city! I feel so frustrated… On one hand I don’t want to push him or text him, or do anything else. On the other, I would like to let him know how I really feel. Can’t get him out of my heart and head. Please advise me!!!
hi
for me, day 2 of NC/day 10 of breaking up
the first week after break up, we still messaged to each other (as friend). we had little met up in day 9 of breaking up.there’re her friends, my ex and me. most of all that time, they happily and funny talked about my ex’s new crushes-how to talk to them/will they okay with my ex/how much my ex like them/bla bla…
That’s the last day of talking with her.When she have no care/respect and also ruin my feeling, so my care for her is done too!
Most of all, I start NC for myself to become the stronger person and to move on my life.Although I know that some corner of my heart still love her and need her back.
When I feel down, I love to read other’s posts and comments here.they’re the important inspiration for me to keep making the NC!
Have a good day 
Im only on day 3 but its very hard. I go through a range of emotions. From happiness to sadness to regret to disgust to being slightly annoyed. I never get angry though. I wish I would, just because I feel like it would help me move on. I have this new thing that I do that really seems to be working. Whenever Im not being conscious of it, things around me triggers happy memories of us (they are usually very vivid memories) and I start to fell nostalgic and I start to miss him…very badly. Whenever this happens I think back to some advice I read on this site. “Concentrate on you during the NC period”. All I say to myself is Me ME ME and then I thoughts disappear and I either stop thinking completely or I just think about what I’ll be doing later today. It weird because I did this at work and not only did it have a mental affect on me but also physical one. When I start to miss him I feel heavy, my heart hurts and my eyes get watery. After doing this I felt … Normal. Like back before the relationship normal…
Its VERY Weird and I can not explain how this works but it just does.
Day 20.
It’s worse than ever. Anticipation is eating me alive. I’m half crazy.
I’m not nearly ready to contact him. I think I will have to go another 30 or even 60 days NC.
I thought I would pull myself together until now. But I’m such a mess.
I feel, if I contact him and he doesn’t answer or at least feel happy about hearing me and gives me some kind of hope, that I’ll sink completely. Al least, now I’m still floating. It’s bad.
day 21
My brain is determined to destroy me. I can’t help but picking memories, contemplate, remembering… everything that went on in our relationship. I’m remembering some details I thought I forgot.
My head is hell.
I am not half crazy anymore. I’m officially crazy.
NC day 1… We were together 3 years…I broke NC several times over the past 2 months. I couldn’t stand the pain and panic of not hearing from him,…he replied in anger to please leave him time to find some peace and I wouldn’t listen…he told me to move on, meet people, fix myself…so today he told me to give him 3 weeks…but I don’t want to be the one to make contact, as I’m learning I shouldn’t…I wish I could know that if I follow the guidelines…will he miss me? Will he stop being angry? Will time really work and will he reconsider even though he told me we could see in 2 years?
I am half crazy too… maybe all crazy
Day 8
23 days ago I told my ex of 18 months I cannot see him anymore. We had some content after this, texts, missed phone calls. He got married last Saturday. No reply to my last few texts to him, hence I told myself I cannot contact him again. I am in suspense - wondering if he will call or text me, wondering if he has ‘deleted’ me, wanting to contact him badly - yes I am all crazy…
9 months ago, after a selling our house, he started saying he wants to have sex with me. I say No, he is living with someone else. 3 months ago he tells me he is gonna marry his new girl - my resolve crumbles; I start seeing him a couple of times a week and having sex.
I hate not having him in my life, I hate he is with other girl and not me…
We are all crazy, lol. That’s why we are here. We are love crazy perhaps for the wrong person yet it doesn’t seem to matter. There is no logic to love.
I am on day 4 of NC.
I talked to my ex and hung out (including sleeping together) with her for almost 2 months after she decided to go casual. I know she’s sleeping with another guy. The same guy she had a rebound relationship with after we broke up the first time. It hurt a lot so it is time I ignore her. I deserve the best and she’s not giving it to me. I tried to do the relationship with her twice. I am not sure if a third time is a good idea or not. We shall see, but right now I am going to put myself first. I recently started seeing other people too. Whether it feels right at the moment or not it keeps me busy. I also started hitting the gym a lot harder then I use too while I was in a relationship. It’s helping.
This forum helps a lot too!
Oh my God, Becca, that really sucks, I’m so sorry. 
I understand you completely, but (un)fortunately, this story is over. Allow yourself to have a new start. You know that chapter of your life is finished now. You can take satisfaction in a fact he’ll never be truly happy with his new wife (he wanted you even though he was with her) and that his marriage is probably a mistake.
But, don’t wait for him. Move on. Come cry here every day if it will make you feel better, but don’t count on him anymore.
Day 24.
Somo old photos he sent me this time last year poped out. His dog, golden retriver, had 10 little puppies, and he took photos of them, and himself cuddling them. I was so excited and happy when I first saw puppies, both in pictures and in person.
Only a year ago, we were so happy. We were planning wedding, talked about marriage and having children. I wanted him and only him to be the father of my babies. I was so so so certain it was him. He was my soulmate. He still is my soulmate.
Damn… I think he’ll always be my soulmate, even though he left me. What a depressive thought.
Everything has changed now. Only my feelings stayed the same. The feeling I would love him forever, till I die.
I wish I could get angry, hate him. I can’t. I love him. More and more as the days go by.
If I had one dying wish, it would be to put me in his arms one last moment. I can’t help myself but cry.
This is killing me. I should stop thinking about it.
Well I am back to Day 1…not a good start. My ex texted me this morning asking if I wanted to hang out when she got back from holidays. Well I didn’t respond at first but she kept texting. So I responded politely asking for space. She started accusing me of seeing other girls because word got out on Facebook that I was single again so all the other girls that are interested in me starting liking my photos on Facebook. She must have saw and got jealous and started accusing me of seeing other people. I responded again saying, there is no one else I just need time and I’ll get in touch with her later. She also saw that I was out having fun with friends. She saw that my life can go on with out her. She snapped saying I’m not your plan B etc. She’s acting as if I dumped her, while she dumped me and she’s seeing other people. Well the conversation didn’t end well as I was being attacked hard. I should have kept my mouth shut. But she deleted me from Facebook. The only good news is now, I’m at a point where if she truly cares about me she will text me asking to see me. If I don’t hear from her again I know it was just her ego that took a hit and she didn’t care. I’m trying to take a positive out of it.
Everything is a work in progress, but back to NC.
Day 9: AllinOne, I don’t feel like it is over!! crazy, crazy - i still haven’t contacted ex, but i know he is back in the country. so tempting now… cos he is not happy and he still wants me, maybe to see him is better than not to see him at all… i don’t want to move on. i don’t want anyone else… arghh… how ,can it only be day 9? feels like a lifetime already.
how can it be possible that it is still only 9 days? I am into the 10th day now and I am sure I am going to crack and contact him. I don’t know how to go out with other people, all I want to talk about it him!! I have woke up at 4am in the morning in a panic, sweating and having weird dreams. He is only living round the corner, it would be so easy to say ‘hi, come on by’. Oh dear, I need help!!
@Carmine828
@archola
@nycor
@sodiumC
@confusedbutok
@thephoenix
@Tommys83
How are you guys doing? Its been a while!
Last contact with my ex was a month ago where I sent a funny meme which I was sending to everyone on my phone. She responds “we are not friends. Please stop texting me”
So that’s that for me. I wasn’t even in frequent contact with her either. Last exchange was a month before that which went well.
My only guess is her new bf said something and he’s more of a priority so she cut all ties with me. Last I know they’re still together and happy.
I don’t condone keeping in touch with an ex, if it happens that’s it respect their wishes and exit their life forever unless they contact you first b
Nice to hear from you again, well at least you tried to reach out for her.
Well hears my story…
Mid June-ish time she contacted me asking me how I am, then after a few exchanges she asked if she could call. In the phone conversation she asked if I was seeing anyone and I responded ‘not really’. Her tone changed and said so that means yes right. Anyway later in the phone convo she said she broke up with the guy she got with after me; later she mentioned she is seeing someone.
Mid July-ish she officially got with him (my suspicion); I met her 2 days later in our uni graduation ceremony, it was the first time we saw each other in about 7 months. She cried that day and we hung out a little.
On her bday I met her for 30 mins, had to do it otherwise I felt I would have regretted it later on. That day I made the mistake of telling her that I still want her in my life.
2 days later I texted her saying “how are you?” , anyway she replied a lot later in the evening saying we can’t be friend because we have had something very special and we dated for a long time (4 years approx.). I responded back with a “lol”, followed by a phone call and told her it’s not like that…I think I also said I would like to meet her to talk to her properly.
On 1st August she texted me saying she if I would like to meet up to talk about what I wanted to tell her. I just ignored it (probably the last id hear from her now; but at least I have the power).
Today I learnt that she is going on holiday with him sometime in September.
NC 13 days since.
I am more stronger and in control now. And my relapse periods have shortened immensely so I am happy about that.
I tried to be as brief as possible.
I really wish we could all stay in touch, felt we connected so much through our crisis.
Some women want to create sooooo much drama, it is hard being friends with an ex but its not something impossible to do.