Hi I’m Nycor! Lol not really but that’s what I go by online.
I’m on day 12 I think and so far doing good… It’s been 3 weeks since the break up, but I am actually feeling good. Focusing on my studies and picking up extra curricular activities that I kinda let go of. I’ve always meditated so that isn’t new… A guy asked me out, but I don’t have any attraction to him. It’s not because he’s not my ex, just I don’t see him that way not even after knowing him for 4 months now. Nice friend though. I’ve gone out with friends and talked to new people, but right now just doing things for me.
Anyways I guess I struggle with the fact that all our friends are so intertwined that running into him is bound to happen… I’m unsure as to how it will be if we do. I wake up from dreams, but they no longer make me feel sad instead I just smile at what was good. When I hear stories I’m just glad he’s doing what he feels he wants to do. That’s what I’m doing.
Now a bunch of my friends and I are going to a rave… Not sure why but they all got me a ticket and this was before the break up so he has one too. A good friend of mine, turned his friend too, told me he’s coming with us, since he doesn’t have anyone to go with. I’m not going to start anything, but it does present a problem on the NC. Now I do want to work things out, but idk if that’s a good idea just yet. I want to go and don’t want him to keep me from doing things, it just presents an awkward situation because I have no idea how he’ll act.
So how should I do this no contact thing if I can’t exactly avoid it without stopping my activities with my friends?
Idk if this is what it’s means for struggles, but I guess I just need to talk about my upcoming dilemma?
Hi! It’s my third day and I feel like I’m a robot., wake up, take a shower, prepare myself to work, barely eat., lose weight in just three days? Woke up again in the middle of the night and look for him… That emptiness I felt the moment I saw him online but not messaging me… Am I that easy to forget? I know deep within me he’s hurting too… I hope as days goes by my life will be better without him. Looking forward on that day when I can tell myself that I managed to move on…
Have a nice day to us
Hi guys, I have been trying to post Kevin without much success since several days and today I saw this thread and I am willing to join, I didn’t read all the posts cause they were too much but what I noticed when I reach to the last page that the people how started this are not there anymore, anyway I will give u summary about my relation with my ex, first of all I am in NC now for 9 days,me and my ex have been together for 5 monthes and she had a bad previous relation and she have been hurted a lot from her ex as she told me, they were married for 7 years and he have beaten her up and abused her before she could finally leave him, we didn’t have any kind of pproblems between us since we have started and by the way we are living in two different cities and we used to meet like once every month but lately before she broke up with me I started to feel that she is being kind of away from me and when I talked to her about it she started to give me explanations made me full of doupts that she might be sheeting on me and once I faced it with it she didn’t like it and then she told me that she really loves me and would never do this and we spent another week together with everything fine between us then one day she told me she is going to meet an old friend she didn’t see from 10 years and they went out together and she texted me when she returned that she was home and she will make a phone call and return back to me and she left me for another hour and when I called her she told me she was talking to him asking him about some data she wanted from him about her ex husband for certain issues between them concerning the kids and staff like this and I was extremely angry and told her she was ignorning my feelings by doing this and she started to tell me silly explanations abot it which made me doubtful again and she told me that she can’t stand my doupts anymore and stopped talking to me and in the next day I tried to talk to her she told me she wont repeat her experience again and she feels I am the same character as her ex and I started to tell her that I am not and I am sorry about what I did and wont repeat it so she told me I need space for a while to think and I started to do everything you mentioned not to do till she blocked me everywhere and I stopped talking to her since and it have been four days now since I last sent her, and now we were planning to travel after 20 days and we booked everything and I don’t know should I go or not and will she show up or she will just drop everything and I wont see her again
From the info you’ve provided it sounds like you may have been a rebound for this girl. If she was married for 7 years even if her ex was abusive she’ll still have some emotional ties to him and from what I’ve noticed is that abused women deep down enjoy it because they feel they’re never enough for the person and it keeps them attached. It’s a sick psychological fact.
I say your chances are extremely low for a reconciliation because you started pushing for affection in a jealous way. Your best bet is to walk away and never look back and if she ever reaches out you must be cool and calm. No pressuring or trying to talk about how she should be towards you.
Actually I don’t think she have anything to her ex, they didn’t even leave in a good way and there is some court issues also between them and that’s why she told me she was Talking to this other guy, and for now what I don’t know if concerning the travel issue, I am affraid if I went hoping to find her and didn’t that it will break me again and at the same time I am affraid not to go and lose a chance to get things back if she went, cause this will mean that she want things back, but I don’t disagree much with u that I might be a rebound for her, I just don’t know what to do and feeling so down
@t_k
I’m a little confused. You two had planned a vacation? When? If it was when things were good. I’d guess the plans are off at this point. Don’t assume she’ll be there. Especially if you haven’t talked about it since.
Yeah, I don’t have any hope or anything, i just won’t act like she doesn’t exist just because she’s my ex, i think that’s a bit stupid, dunno. Anyway today was her birthday, and I wished her happy birthday through fb. She didn’t open the message but I’m sure she read it.
Things between them seem so different compared to what it was between us (better with us). She always liked when I showed her affection on social media and etc and they seem so dull. Anyway, it’s not my business anymore.
She said she’d like to catch up because we were best friends. It kind of bothers me because were in a relationship for four years and we were only best friends at the start!!!
@Martin
At least she wants to see you. Don’t let the “friends” discourage you. Be your best self. Confident, playful, carefree. Flirt 10% of the time and the rest be genuine.
Hows things going? How long had you been in NC for until she contacted you? I take it she contacted you first? Anyhow seems like positive news if you still want to try and reconcile.
I am getting really fed up of still feeling pretty low and massively missing my Ex and I still cant stop thinking about her and her new boyfriend. The nice sunny warm weather is making me feel worse as we used to do lots of things in the summer.
I try to concentrate on improving myself and I am starting a new job/career on Monday but I feel I kind of made the decision to swap jobs under the influence of my ex to try and show her I am more ambitious even though I really enjoy the job I am currently in and have been in for the last 5 and half years. I keep feeling I am making the wrong decision and my ex now doesn’t care one bit what I do.
I really thought after 6 months I would have got close to reconciling or I would have moved on a little but it is really hard still. I have tried everything but I still cant get her off my mind.
The worse thing is thinking that she will be settling down with this new man and getting married and having kids etc. This really hits my self esteem as I see myself as “the mistake and bad boyfriend which told my ex what she really wants out of a relationship and boyfriend”
They too have been seeing each other for about 4 months and she has told me they are planning a future together. I hate feeling this way and wish I could get out of this slump but all hopes of reconciliation are lost. I keep beating myself up about it and going over past mistakes and wishing I could turn back the clock. She really did love me at one point and we had a good thing going and I cant believe how she has moved on so quick.
So after all this time…I’m better. I’m feeling better. I’ve been going to play football with my mates, running, I’m getting better. We broke up like 5 months ago, 4 months since she became together with someone else, 3 months since I last saw her and that she cheated on him with me. I genuinely am getting better. But today I found out something. I saw that they moved in together. I couldn’t help but laugh. I still have feelings for her, love even but I just laugh at this. Because it’s fucking ridiculous. They are together for like 4 months and already living together? Isn’t this odd and ridiculous and childish? Like…what the fuck?
@archola
Does your ex have issues with being alone? I believe mine did as she wanted me to move in only 3 months into the relationship. I told her a better idea would be to wait a year, which in the end we didn’t even last that long.
I genuinely don’t know. We were together for like 3.5years and she was always talking about marrying and living together but that wasn’t only 4 months after we started. I mean she just 21, he just turned 20,are in a relationship for 4 months after being with someone for over 3 years and already moved in together? This does not make any sense whatsoever. Not to me at least.
My ex and her new boyfriend are now living together too and it’s only 4 months in. I know my girlfriend has issues with being alone…but what does that mean and how does that effect things with regards to rebounds etc?? Personally I can’t see that as being too much of an issue as when you think about it no one really enjoys too much time being alone. It seems on the outside that they both seem very happy?
It’s good to hear your feeling good about things @archola and moving on positively
Got any tips and advice? I too run and play football with friends and have a pretty busy life but I still check her Facebook even though she hardly ever updates it and I still can’t get her off my mind? What’s the best way to stop this madness haha?
@Tommys83 Being alone you mean living alone? Yeah, that is true, but my ex was living with her mom and I really can’t get around my head how someone moves in to live with a partner just in this short time, considering she still carries all the baggage from our relationship…wich ended like 3 weeks before they got together. And considering everything she told me the last time we saw each other…it’s mind blowing and I just laugh.
Any tips? I’m not really a role model myself I still check her fb, her social networks and etc but I don’t feel as much bothered as I used to. I still have deep feelings for her but I feel so hurt…I try to distract myself, being with friends, playing games, watching movies, series, etc. It helps. I still look at her pictures, our stuff, still imagine us together, because you know…it was really strong what we had but there’s a time you need to face the reality. I am on that point now. I’m starting to think that maybe I wasn’t completely happy with her. Things i do now, she would complain at me because she would want all the attention for herself and I’m starting to realise that now. And that is another motive why i don’t get how they went this fast. Apparently her new bf is doing everything she wants too. Dunno.
Hey guys, guess Im not the only one still struggling. Its been 6 minths now since the breakup, and in my case Im baffled because he has no one else (thank God), but is still very angry. We have tried to dobthings but his anger soon explodes and he misinterprets all I say, and I get mad and run off again. I decided to stay as away as possible, we both play in a band, and I declined a new gig on 4/17, but still doing the one 5/2 because ot is a big one. I cut cords again with him since Saturday, and just now he sent me an email with a link to free threading of Game of Thrones, a series he got to know because of me, and we used to watch together. I thanked him he replied politely back, and thats it. I will keep the nc the best I can. Im having nights and days from hell still. But I have managed to be very succesful in taking back my life and interests and Everything else is great, only Im too lonely. i started texting and talking to a trainer in my gym, he is cute and funny but I just see him as friend and a way to syart moving on.
Sorry for the late reply, I have been missing in action for sometime. I was in no contact for atleast 22 days before she contacted me. In short, I contacted her in mid March and passed the ball to her court, so she probably felt like she had to. Anyway nothing has been firmly arranged with it still being in the air. Its not entire positive news because I feel she is trying to friendzone me, she has been dating the guy she broke up with me for.
I understand how you feel, I feel the same about the summer weather…it makes me feel nostalgic everytime I go outside. I do keep relapsing after a period of time but its quite infrequent now.
Our ex has no reason to care about us anymore. I just try to think that she doesnt exist and just move on. I have accepted that we would never ever meet. I think you should also get rid of the hope mentality. NC was never designed to get our ex back, its more to help us move on.
I tried to look at every angle in whether I can get her back and in all of them my hands our tied. Even in the horoscope (my moon sign and her sun sign) it says that we will eventually bid good-byes for good.
I guess we will have just have to wait for the right oppurtunity to when to strike; right now I know that my time is not right.
It would be good if there was a way to talk a bit more privately, annoyingly this forum does not have a PM system.
I still check her fb, her social networks and etc but I don’t feel as much bothered as I used to. I still have deep feelings for her but I feel so hurt…I try to distract myself, being with friends, playing games, watching movies, series, etc. It helps. I still look at her pictures, our stuff, still imagine us together, because you know…it was really strong what we had but there’s a time you need to face the reality. I am on that point now. I’m starting to think that maybe I wasn’t completely happy with her. Things i do now, she would complain at me because she would want all the attention for herself and I’m starting to realise that now. And that is another motive why i don’t get how they went this fast. Apparently her new bf is doing everything she wants too. Dunno.