Thank you so much for replying. It meant everything to me when he told me yesterday that he was falling for me. He originally told me he wasn’t sure how he felt about me.
When I texted him saying we shouldn’t meet up, I said I was hurt and confused and asked his opinions and thoughts on our conversation. That’s when he said if we want to meet in person he is up to it. I try not to look into things but by him not telling me anything is that good or bad?
I broke no contact today after week and few days.
I received a Xmas card from a friend and his wife that was addressed to my ex and I (they must have forgot the situation)
So I sent her a pic of the card. She replied “aw” then minutes later “Merry Christmas” then I replied Merry Christmas and that was that.
I am not sure, maybe him not saying anything is just him seeing what you will say or he will wait to say it in person.
Men are complicated at times, I just don’t understand them and they are all different so how 1 guy thinks and reacts is different to others. Like women I guess.
And I don’t know your ex so hard for me to say. Just try and judge it, you know him and try to look at how he acts and what he says and judge it looking at the positive and not so positive way he could be meaning things.
Good luck
Thanks. I’m really struggling. I’m still talking to him. We brought up NYE plans as we originally had made some together. His friend might have a get together and I said I might go out with my girlfriends who want to hook me up with one of her friends. He was like what do you mean hook up? Like hook hook up? As in sex? I said no. I asked if he was okay and he said yeah why wouldn’t I be. He then said he got mad a little. Actually a lot because he still cares. That’s good right?
Yes it sounds like he cares about you still.
Play things cool and just see what happens, don’t rush things.
So I’m thinking of starting NC. For the 3rd time. Why?
I was gonna see my ex this week, but plans changed. When we were going to hang out, he just told me he went to the movies with his rebound. And that when he wanted to hang out, he just wanted sex. I want to give up. This isn’t him. I thought I was finally getting him back I thought my hard work was actually doing something. I just want to give it all up. Why is he being like this again? someone help
I know deep down he still cares and wants me. Right now, he’s just not him. Again. And it really makes me mad.
So many people have been saying he’ll come back and all that. I’m so lost. I’ve worked so Very hard to get him back. What should I do? What is he suddenly being like this?
Hi Everyone,
Merry Christmas and I hope you are all having a joy and cozy time with a cup of hot chocolate, a fireplace and embarrassing Christmas sweaters. I hope we either get our ex’s back or show them how happy we are by moving on. Through sharing our pain I feel that we have all connected really well and I am glad we were able to do so. Lets look forward to the new year, 2015 will be filled with new opportunities, challenges and excitements.
I wouldn’t say mine is hopeful though, I think she might have passed the point of no return. Anyway she has changed and does not seem to be the same person that I have dated for the past 4 years. Also she has a stubborn attitude so everything is just less likely. I feel like I am ready to start exploring again which is a good thing. Anyway how are you coping?
NC - Day 7 (Round 2)
@confusedgirl
Just stop all contact.
Start the nc and don’t break it for anything. Not just a little text reminding him of something or anything.
The nc is for you to work on yourself, to become stronger and focus in you.
And how can he miss you if you message him, and reminding him of something will just make him think that you are thinking about him.
The nc 30 days is there for a reason. Stick to it. I know its hard. I am on day 27 and not broke it once, my ex has messaged like 4 times and wants me to reply but I won’t. I passed a message on through a friend and that’s it.
Stay busy, start a new hobbie, go out, exercise, try not to think of him.
We all know how hard it is and my ex is in a rebound relationship too though luckily at the moment they are in different countries over Christmas but he has changed his whats app photo to a picture of him and her which hurts me. Think he saw I changed mine to a different picture and he decided to change his.
He may fly to her country to be with her the day after boxing day too which will hurt me but I am fairly confident that there relationship wont last as they are from different countries and it will be hard for her to move to his home country where he has to return for the next 3 years. And where I am going to move to in January as me and him had originally planned. So he will bump into me. But I am not sure if we will get back together.
Its very hard breaking up and trying to get back together and it can take a month or more, we need to be patient and not rush it, time is very important and we need to take it slow and work on ourself too.
Good luck x
Well today i contact my ex. Just finish my Nc. And everything ok. He laughed a bit at my stories and all. I thought he being hot and cold but when i asked him about him, he said he is sick. And not feeling very well. So right now he is not replying my text even tho he is online. He is not read either. So, im just waiting. He is still with her tho so i think, he is texting his girlfriend 
Hi guys, Idk if this is the place to share my back story (which turned out to be incredibly long and complicated? sorry about that ^^')
or just my struggles with NC… but since this is my first post i thought i should share my story as well…
well… we have been dating for 5 years and it has been incredible … we loved each other so much (i gotta admit he was more into this relationship than i was at first) but the more time we spent together the harder i fall in love with him and the more time i want to spend with him… we have talked almost everyday during these five years… i was difficult to get along with… i took out my frustration and anger on him, i yelled at him over stupid things, and attacked his personality, i cheated on him and he forgave me… but i still couldn’t appreciate him… but i wasn’t a b!@# all the time, i mean i did love him sincerely and i think most of those years were happy times… since he stuck around through this abuse… (i sometimes used to threaten i would break up with him and he threatens to kill himself… ofc both of us knew we couldn’t live without each other)…
we used to study in the same area but different faculties… so we saw each other everyday… but i graduated a over a year ago and he’s now in his final year… ever since this year started, he had less and less time for me, and i understood that… but … even when i was in my final year i used to call him everyday for at least 10 minutes to ask about his day and just hear his voice… (damn! i can’t get through this post without crying)… but he was way more busier than i was… until i was kinda upset about that and on the phone i told him that you don’t call me as often…and that was it… he just hung up and he never was the same after that day… i called him again and again and sent about 300 texts (no kidding) but he didn’t answer… this went on for two weeks… until i went over to his house and txted him that i won’t move until he spoke with me… (i now realise that that was a terrible mistake) he agreed to meet with me in a coffee place… and when i went there he acted as if nothing happened… i asked him why he did that… he told me i was sick and i need help…(he said i had bpd) i have heard that before and denied it… now that i thought i might lose him i accepted what he said and i said i want to get better but he needs to help me… he told me that he can’t help my unless i help myself and something about standing on my own feet and being happy for my own happiness… honestly i just wanted him back at the time (august) so i just said i will do whatever it takes and i assumed that everything would be like normal while i work on myself… but he got colder by the day… and one day we made plans to meet up at college but his phone was off for a week so i didn’t get to confirm the time and date but i went anyway… i called he didn’t answer… i told him i was waiting for him at (…) he said he can’t meet me today… i told him it was now or never, he said don’t force me to meet you… and then i panicked and started sending him really crazy texts… and he didn’t answer any of them… ( i had other than him two friends one really close who told me two years ago that she was in love with him but she wasn’t going to do anything because he’s not available and because she loves me more) anyways she was very supportive during that time… to some extent… anyways… i kept sending him texts like just asking how he was, and happy holidays etc… and just random stuff but nothing obsessive… his responses were sporadic, and very distant… i tried to show him that i am really working hard on myself… and i really was… and he seemed to be coming around… and we agreed to meet sometime soon… we met at the mall … and he felt like his old self… he told me he loved me very much and he wants me to be happy and to find true happiness that shouldn’t be dependent on my being in a relationship with him ( i interpreted that as a way of gradually breaking up with me since he knows i will go insane without him… there were other “signs” that he didn’t want t future with me… but i might have imagined those) anyway it was great it felt like we were finally back together until i call him on the phone and he doesn’t answer… he said he doesn’t like talking on the phone and that it causes more trouble than it solves… i kept calling him because that’s how things used to be… we would talk each other to sleep, but his conversations were cold and brief… that made me sadder and more confused… i asked him to meet again and this time he came over to my house and it was the new version of him, the one that was indifferent to me… i wanted to have sex with him but he said he didn’t think it was a good idea… i felt rejected and cried a lot… he didn’t even hold me… or look at me with that love in his eyes… only that empty stare… sigh after that it went the same way… i call him, he answers sometimes and is very brief on the phone… i tried to be very positive and talked to him about things he liked… but still it wasn’t like always… i would sometimes mention that… that he doesn’t love me like he used to… and he would say “yes it’s a different kind of love right now.” and i would say " what kind of love" he said " you are like my family now, i love you with tremendous amounts, i just can’t express it the way you want me to" and i say “but you used to, you used to show me so much love i would actually worry how am i going to return it” he says nothing to that … when i pester him about the subject again he says he is sure he won’t be in another relationship ever, but that doesn’t mean he will stay in this one… and that a relationship is not something he “needs” to be happy and i should realise that too… but i disagree what do you think ? … anyways… after that we met and it was hard because he changed so much, i was prepping for weeks for what i am going to talk about. but to my shock when we were on the date he actually said at one point that what i was talking about was boring him… and he went back very early saying that we don’t need to stay together for that long ( we used to stay out very late and wonder when did the time fly by) but this time he was always checking his clock… after that day i was talking to my friend about this and she sent me a screencap of their conversations on whatsapp… he didn’t even tell me he had whatsapp… i felt so betrayed and asked her to send me their entire conversation… she weaseled out of it and i felt that their conversation was warm and quite a lot compared to our recent conversations… he seemed to enjoy it “from what i saw” i never spoke with her again, then i remembered that my other friend actually was in love with him so i asked her if she talks to him on whatsapp too and she said she didn’t want to answer… at that moment i sank into a bottomless hole and felt my whole world crumble… i called him and told him about what happened between tears and he told me to sleep now and that he will call me in the morning to talk about it, but he never did… i txted him and he said he didn’t want to talk to me… and then i found this site (two weeks ago) i sent him a message telling him i am going to stop contacting him because i wanted to work on myself …“no answer ofc” … and now it has been fourteen days… not a day goes by that i don’t think of him or wish i had a time machine so i could act less like a child…
oh one more thing i forgot… he has given me a puppy, but now where i live i can’t have a dog and i was given a deadline to get rid of it… i told him about that (before that fated day) and he said ok bring her over… now i don’t want to give her to anybody else because he said he wanted her, and because i want to see her again, but i don’t want to contact him about it, my mum called him to ask him when she could bring her over, his phone was off she texted him saying “hi i called you to ask you when it would be okay to bring the dog over” the message didn’t reach him… because his phone is still off… now i have to give her away… do you think that my mum shouldn’t have contacted him ? ( when his phone is switched on he’s going to see missed calls and probably a text) i wonder if changed his phone number, what do i do after NC is over, and how long do you guys think i should keep up the NC?
anyways i apologise again for the ridiculously long post, but as i have stated, i don’t even have friends to discuss this about… thanks for listening/reading… etc ^^ i would appreciate any thoughts ^-^
@aryyan Sorry to hear that. Stay strong and try not to focus on what your Ex might be doing so much. If he’s stopped messaging you then simply stop messaging him for a while (maybe a day or two, maybe a week or two). Stay in LC and don’t open up much unless he shows signs of doing the same.
Day 1 of NC… So much in pain… So wanna call him or see him. This is so hard. How did you guys make it thru the first few days? I’ve made many mistakes if trying to reach out to him. He’s been ignoring me completely. But I’m so crazy that I still want to keep trying! Ugh… Help please!
I know it is so tough. My ex started a relationship the same day he broke up with me.
It is tough but you have to be strong. Every time you feel like contacting him just think of something else, distract yourself and stay busy. Call a friend or family friend instead. Or write down what you want to say to him on a piece of paper instead.
Just don’t contact him, it won’t make it any better and could push him away.
Stay strong, be busy, see friends, exercise, read a book, watch a comedy, go out, see friends, hangout with some guys, especially guys who make you feel good and say nice stuff to you. You need to work on yourself to make yourself stronger and happier without him, not needy and sad, strong independent woman.
It’s hard and tough I know only too well, but I know it is best to wait.
I have been in nc for 26 days now. We use to message every single day, so for me its very tough. And we are in different countries right now and he is flying to see his new gf in her home country, all very tough.
All I can say is stay strong, distract, see friends and family and stay away from your phone.
Hope it helps x
It does help hayz! I’ll try to distract myself. But the thought of what if he never comes back kills me. I know that NC is supposed to get me on the right track and make me stronger… But there’s nothing I want more then him back with me. I miss him. Ugh
Just think, NC will draw him back, not doing NC will push him away.
The choice is yours.
He did reply all my text except my last msg because he fell asleep. But…he took verrryyyyy long time to reply mine. Thats why it hurts me a bit because he seems online so many times but he didnt read my msg and reply my msg first. I guess maybr im not that important to him 
I did upload my new pictures and wish eeryone happy holiday with my new profile picture. Everyone compliment me except him. He didnt even mention or ask about my new styles abd all. Sigh
And this morning he read my last night msg but he didnt reply. I saw him online and he read it but he just remain silence. Hmmm
I definitely want him back… Already done a pretty good job pushing him away! Lol
@aryyan It’s probably not a case of how important you are to him. You haven’t communicated with your Ex for a while and even if he has been in another relationship that will have hurt him. He may be lost for words at times and scared of opening up too much or upsetting you again himself.
Try to only focus on the positive. You haven’t spoke in a while but he still messaged you back several times. That’s quite a good start believe it or not. There are a lot of people who post on these forums who might wish that they could just get that far in communicating with their Ex.
You have to realise that things will not go back to what you felt that they were overnight. Just remain positive, focus on yourself but keep reminding your Ex that you are still there for him and that you want to keep the lines of communication open.
Good luck and Merry Christmas to you x
Thank u! Thats very sweet positive and supportive words from u. I feel better a bit now. Thank u so much. I hope everything will be alright. For me and for u too. 
cant wait to hear ur situation going on
U too! Merry xmas and happy holiday!