Hope my post made sence.
I read the story and based on all that I know on this subject, a lot of stuff just came to my mind that I needed to tell you. So I just typed it all down as it came to me 
In all honesty i dont know much about the guy, he live about 4hrs away from our town. So anytime they meet she travels to see him, he has yet to travel to our town. She may looking for me in him as from what little i seen we may share few qualities.
And yes you are right, this is the honeymoon stage. She can get a bit hard to deal with with time, only reason i was around is due to having the patience to deal with it and i loved her. Dunno if he has the same amount of resolve.
Only advantage is see so far is that his family like hers, on the other hand my family wasnât so nice midway trough our relationship. Eventually it got better after i stood up to them. And her mom doesnât like me, she rather have her date any guy as long as its not me.
Her mom is rather selfish and dont want to let go of her. The one reason i think she is âokâ with it is the fact that since they are 4hrs apart (8hrs round trip) it keeps her from seeing him often personally.
My other concern is that he may want to marry her and she may push for it. Despite all that she has done she is a great girl and an awesome catch. If this happens it will be towards the 1yr mark and at that point i know she will be gone for good 
Ok so something new happen. I need urgent advice on the next step.
We ran into each other at the local startbucks. She ran and hid in the bathroom before I walked in but I saw her as I was parking and she saw me too. I said hi to her brother while there as I bumped into him too. I asked her brother why was she hiding from me. She reply idk.
After I left, five mins later. I get a text from her on a new number. She wanted to say hello and we text for a few mins. I played it cool and all when well. What do you guys make of it? What should be my next step? I have a feeling that shortly after this she may want to start hanging out again. Letâs keep in mind that her guy lives on another town. If she wanting someone close to keep near? Or maybe there is trouble already on their relationship ?
Will great to get some input.
Thanks.
Very interresting. There is clearly still some feelings there. I guess face-to-face was to much for her, so she ran to the toilet and then used text because it is easier.
It is ok to reply to the text as long as you do not invest more in the conversation then she does. Reply as short and as slow as she does. Shorter and slower if possible. Remember: you are only replying to be polite. You are not replying because you miss her, or want her back. Well⌠Yes you are, but she cannot know that!
She must never ever know that she can have you back anytime she want. And be careful. Our exâs have a 6th sense about these things.
But back to your original question.
There are still some feelings there if you ask me, but try not to let it get to your head. She is with this new guy, and her talking to you is most likely just because she wants you as a backup, just in case.
And no. Hanging out is a big no go when she is in a rebound. You are just helping him
Look at this reply I gave in another thread:
If you stick around trying to be âfriendsâ with your ex, the rebound person has a much easier time of it. The rebound person doesnât have to be that emotionally supportive, because someone else is taking up the slack for him. A person who knows the dumper far better then him (you). This goes back and forth until the rebound learns enough to take over from you and thatâs when you are pushed out.
It explains very well why you should not hang out with her while she is with him.
Thanks CreeD. Will keep it in mind. I know i had few other questions but they currently escape me lol
Ask away my friend
Ok here are a few lol. How long or when will it a good time to hang out? Do i let her to continue to initiate the contact or do i occasionally (every several days) send her a text? Her new guy living on a different town (4hrs away) will that make her want to be closer to me since the other guy isnât around much other than via text or calls? Sorry for the constant bother. Im sure i have few others that i cant think of right nowâŚ
Thanks
- when she wants you back. Remember friendzone is a no goâŚ
- never initiate contact. Remember: you are not interrested anymore, and she cannot get the impression that you are. She needs to be affraid that she lost you. If she dumped this guy and was single I guess a little contact would be ok.
- The fact that he lives so far away is a major plus for you. Remember that when the honeymoon stage of her relationship fades, she will start to compare him to you. Him being 4 hours away, you being close by⌠It will be very hard for him to reach the same level of closeness as you and her had.
Hope this helps a bit. You seems to have a good situration going here.
Just keep your cool. She needs to feel like she has lost you.
If she feels like she has lost you, her mind will panic. Just like it did with you when you lost her.
If she doesn´t feel like she has lost you, there will be no reason for her mind to panic, and she will not be in any hurryâŚ
Hope this helps. And no worries my friend. I remember when I just got dumped. I had a million questions in my head, but when I finally sat down in front of the computer it was hard to find the words.
Thanks a lot for the answer and guidance.
No matter how many times i asked myself i still cant understand how could she do what she did. Date another guy behind my back and then once they were steady dump me and take it as far as she did in no time. And being so public about it⌠The daily email the other spoke about consistency⌠could this why she is so public with it and moving it so fast? To assert herself that her decision is correct?
This is such a pain.
Will it ok to start posting on instagram again things i been doing and such. we arent friends there so she cant see it and i stop to kinda of have that anonymity around me of she not knowing what i was doing. then again she may be able to see it via mutual friends.
suggestions?
The whole âhow could she do thatâ thing is something you need to get over. You cannot win her back if you still hold a grudge. You need to be able to forgive.
Yes, post all you want on Instagram. It is a great way to show of how well you are doing. She might get the news from a friend, or she might be looking at your profile herself from time to time.
Well i do forgive her for those actions and im not holding any grudges. I just keep asking myself how and whyâŚ
Thanks
And you are right⌠i had a million questions and they just vanish when i sit on the computer to type.
As long as you never ask her these questions
She doesnât need any âex momentsâ with you, and that might also be the reson why she avoids seeing you face-to-face. She is affraid of those awkward âex momentâ that will add to her guilt. By using text she is on safe ground, and has the power to end the conversation if you should start to give her any ex moments.
Oh yes that is very clear on my mind. I wont ever ask her those questions nor bring up anything about ex moments.
Thanks you
Great.
Looking forward to your next update. I think you are on the right path here, and you seem very calm about the situration. Keep it up
Well i believe me i have my moments of were im just down and is hard, just trying to keep my cool about it and taking major steps ahead in life.
Given the case that i think she feels guilty about what she did, should i at some point eventually send her a text? it may seem like a sign that i forgive her about her actions or should i continue to let her be the one to initiate? I know she may get a bit selfconscious about it and maybe not even text againâŚ
I would highly advice you not to