So me and my ex were together for 6 years and 3 years ago we broke up because i lied one to many times:(. We got back together and i got pregnant. I told him the truth about everything but i withheld one detail because i was afraid i’d lose him. So recently he asked me about it and i didn’t want to lie again so i told him. Now he broke up with me.He’s been talking to a woman 2xs his age so i know its a rebound. We have a child together how do i do NC? I am still very much in love with him and he has told me that he loves me as well. I want to get back with him. I want it to work. I need advice please
I think that you need to do the NC regarding your personal life only, if he asked about your child you can answer, but don’t contact him or respond to any subject other than that, let him cool down and let him see that you are a different person now, and for the future don’t lie and don’t be afraid to tell the truth, always.
Thanks for replying. I will try and do that. I am on day 1 and I’m having an emotional day. I just really want this to work. I love him so much.
I understand what you’re going through, i am on my second day of NC and i really hope that my relationship works, we have to stick together on this and we have to be strong for this to work.
What happened during the 1st NC?
During the first day it was really hard but just put in mind that the outcome will please you, don’t show him that you’re desperate just show him the better virgin of you, stay positive and think positive, patience is they key to everything you want. how was your first?
This is my first time ever doing this. I wanted to know about your experience with Nc the first time. You said this was your second one
My first time went really well, the first time we broke up i did all the things that everyone does during the breakup, sobbing, crying, begging and contacting him when ever i missed him and believe me that didn’t work at all, actually it never worked, but then i applied the NC rule, i didn’t contact him at all, i went out with friends and tried to enjoy/kill my time, 3 days after he called and i didn’t reply, the next day he texted and asked if everything was ok, and then i caved and replied, we got back together after that ,but actually i regret replying to him on the 4th day, because i showed him that he can come and go whenever he wants and it would be easy to win me back, so for this time i am applying the NC for 30 days and i will try my best not to contact him, but the thing is his birthday is in 15 days and i don’t know if i should contact him or not, but we’ll see what happens till then, tell me about your experience?
And i was showing him desperation and i know he got annoyed.HE still has his clothes here. And he also layed in bed with me and our son until he fell asleep. Once he was asleep he asked me tk walk him to the door. At the He held me and told me he really loves me. On a difference occasion he said we had a chance to get back together just not now. How should i feel after all of this?
So many spelling errors lol sorry.
You really have a good chance of getting him back, just don’t push him into anything, give him the space he needs, and just try to get busy, if he said that you two have a chance then you do have a chance, and he doesn’t want you to move on just yet. stay positive and you’ll get him back
I’m trying. It’s so hard. Especially knowing that he is seeing that lady. It drives me nuts! I just don’t want him to move on… We go to church together and yesterday afterwards we went to his mom’s house. He was acting very nice towards me. I was trying not to get to excited since i knew i was going to start Nc today. I saw his mom today and i cried. ( i tried not to ) she told me that it will work out.
Also he somehow kept winding up with my phone.and even tried to unlock it! Also when i was laughing at videos on ig he was mocking me. My best friend called me and he answered my phone! Is this a good sign? Is this a good thing?
Believe me when i tell you seeing someone else after a breakup will come to your advantage, it will not help him to move on in any way, actually it will help you big time to get him back, he will compare you to her in everything she does, and then he will wish that the other lady is you, you have so much history together plus you never get over someone that easy if you didn’t move on then he won’t either, he is just playing it safe and he knows for a fact that eventually you’ll wait for him and stay.
It is a good thing, it means that he still cares, and he still gets jealous, show him that you have nothing to loose anymore and you have nothing to hide, show him how an honest person you are, but not with desperation.
I believe you have a great chance as well! I think you could still say happy Birthday via text and remain on Nc. Just keep it sweet and short.
Yeah this is what i thought too, i just want him to miss me because i’ve been there for him the whole time and he sort of is sure that whatever happens i’ll still love him and this is a disadvantage for me.
Thank you so much i feel so hopeful now!! Thank you for replying and talking to me! I am trying to show him that i am a better person now. He also recommended counseling. Two weeks ago he told me he feels we are meant to be together but we need to talk with someone. Well today i went for the intake appointment. The next one is next week. Should i bring the counseling up again? Or just continue going for myself during Nc. Then afterwards go from there?
The same thing for me too. Except in my desperation i told him that I’d wait for him. But hopefully with us doing Nc that will spark something in them to see that we’re worth chasing/ fighting for.
No problem everyone needs someone to talk to in these situation specially when you feel like everyone around you is tired of your story and just doesn’t have time to talk on and on about it, i recommend you going to the counseling by your self just to improve you before you improve your relationship, it is really good that he is working on your relationship and trying to make it work, just go for a few sessions by your self talk about your self and just try to see your side of the relationship and then after a while if you two came across each other tell him about his idea casually.