Thanks. That’s what i was thinking. What day are you on again? And how were your emotions today?
today is the end of my second day going to the third, i miss him so much let me tell you my story, me and my boyfriend had been together for almost 2 yrs, most of it was a long distance relationship, but we were pretty close and it didn’t affect our relationship that much, he has a study course for the (military) and after 6 months he’ll be graduating, a month ago he broke up with me because he was overwhelmed with studies and work, his mental health wasn’t that good, and he said that his obsession with me is affecting his career, i did all the things that kevin mentioned sobbing, crying, begging and contacting him when ever i miss him, he wanted us to stay in touch and talk from time to time, so we did but when ever we talk we get so emotional that neither of us want to see each other move on, 2 days ago he texted me and told me that he went to all the places that we went together and he misses me so much and that every single day that passes by he misses me more, and i replied with i miss you too, and that was it, after that i decided to do the NC and today is my second day, i don’t know if what I’m doing it right, but honestly i love him so much and i really want him back, when ever i contact him he replies and doesn’t ignore, but i want more than that, i want him to want me back again. i really don’t know what to do, i’ve been diagnosed with severe depression and multi other disorders and him too he was going through so much mentally and physically
I believe you guys will be back together! He just needs space to focus on bettering himself. As well as you. I think Nc is a good idea and easing into “friends” is going to work for you. You both love each other and want to be with each other. Its going to work! I believe it! In the time (that seems like forever and is pure torture ) i believe he’s going to begin to pursue you. I know it will work!
Thank you very much i really needed someone to believe in us since everyone is telling me to move on, but the hard thing is we can’t be friends because we both have strong feelings for each other, i tried once asking him casually about a restaurant he once told me about and he said that it is very hard for him to picture me moving and and going out to have fun, he told me that it broke his heart, but yet he’s not doing anything about it, i just want him to say it but of course i will put some boundaries because he just can’t leave when ever things get really tough and break my heart once again.
Did you ever tell him that you didn’t like that he just gives up? Maybe he truly doesn’t know that he’s doing it.sometimes we do things and don’t realize it.
Only one person has told me to move on and i just stopped communicating with them all together. Everyone else tells me that we’re going to work and that they feel we’re meant for each other.just as he has. It’s hard when you want to talk about your situation all day but the people you love are tired of hearing it. I’m seriously in love with this man and i know he loves me. I know our love is real. So i will NOT GIVE UP ON US! And i don’t want you to give up on your ex either!
Yes i told him that, and on the same day that he told me that he misses me so much he told me that this time he failed for making me happy, i didn’t respond to that because i didn’t want to add any pressure on him it wasn’t the right time to put any blames on him so i just responded with i miss you too, and that was it 2 days ago we didn’t talk since then, i am struggling so much for not contacting him, but i know it would do no good, on that same day he told me that he went to rome alone last weekend because he wanted to go to all the places we went together, and this weekend he went to paris because we went there together, he told me that he went exactly to the same places we went, and i quote his message, " i miss you with every breath i take, with every moving cell in my body, with every thought and every blink, with every sigh and every smile, with every step and every seat … i miss you so much and i guess this time i failed to make you happy" … which ended up with me replying with i miss you too.
I Know how you feel, because only you know how special your relationship is, we all make mistakes we are human beings and we are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them, and the people who love up will end up forgiving us, it doesn’t mean we don’t love them it just meant that we had a lack of judgment at that time, yes we lie sometimes but only because we are afraid to lose our loved once, we don’t lie to people who we don’t care about, we do mistakes so that we can learn, the people who are meant to be together WILL be together no matter what, and only you who can tell that this is the one for you, breakups happen to make the relationship stronger, but you have to be in a good place when that happens, i know that you ex will be back, it just needs time, time is our worse enemy and our best friend all at once, so don’t loose faith, and i know that soon i’ll be hearing good news from you I’m sure of it, tell me how are you feeling today?
I think saying i miss you too was good. And he is definitely thinking about you during this time. Today was ROUGH! i cried several times. I didn’t eat. Every car i saw looked like his car. I asked his mom not to tell him i saw her and was crying. She said she wouldn’t. I’m planning on being in bed by 930. Tomorrow i want to get out of the house again. I’m proud of myself for not calling him today. Didn’t think i could do it.
When i get a voicemail on my phone the last person to leave a message name and picture shows in my notifications. He left me a voicemail 3 weeks ago and I’ve received several since then. But his picture and name is the one that stays there. My best friend left me a message this afternoon and his picture went away. 5 minutes later it was back. I haven’t checked my messages. I can’t make his picture stay there. I keep telling myself that this is a sign. Am i crazy? Lol
i want to tell you that it won’t get better tomorrow, but don’t let it get into you, these are my tips for you to get busy and reduce the pain and the anxiety:
- try to sleep early.
- when you wake up don’t stay in bed at all, it will lead you to thinking about him ALOT, you will sob, cry and won’t be able to get out of bed all day.
- Don’t be alone at all !! i know at this time you just need to be alone and you don’t want anyone around but force your self to be around people.
- don’t stay at home go out even for a walk, for me i stayed home and didn’t contact anyone i just shut everyone out but that made it worse a lot!
- try to jog or go to the gym so that at the end of the day you won’t have any energy left to think about anything.
- don’t check his Facebook,twitter, instagram or any account that he has because you’ll think that he’s doing ok without you and he’s moving on you’ll get angry and frustrated but believe me when i tell you that he’s far from moving on, he thinks about you in everything that he does and he will be wondering where you are are what are you doing because you haven’t contacted him for a while now, eventually he’ll start imagining his life without you and he won’t bare the thought, by then he’ll be the one who wants you back.
PS: it won’t get any easier with time but eventually you’ll be much stronger and wiser and believe me you will be very proud of your self
Its normal for you to think that everything is a sign for you to contact him, its just your mind playing tricks on you, you know it is really like an addiction, and you have to be sober to make the right judgments, the NC plan is affective, there are no side affects what so ever with this plan, make him miss you, because when someone starts to miss their loved once they’ll forget everything that went bad in that relationship and just focus on winning you back, you are strong and you can do this, we are in this together, when ever you feel like teeing him or contacting him, just write down what you want to say and then delete it or post it here so that you don’t end up contacting him again.
Thanks. Being that i have a child i don’t have many places to go. And my family is in a different state. His mom told me to come by tomorrow. Idk if i should go there again. I look at the voicemail as a sign that we will get back together. I had like 3 messages when he left the message now i have 17 from different people and his picture and name is the one that shows. No matter what. So i look at it as an amazing thing.idk. i know he’ll be shocked that i haven’t called him. Because that’s what i do lol plus yesterday we had a good day together. So i think he’ll wonder what’s going on.
This Saturday i work late and I’m going to need him to take care of our son. Sunday we go to church so i have no idea how this is going to work
Sure he is, and with time he’ll try to figure that out by asking you, i don’t think going to his mom is a good idea at this moment, you don’t need a sign to believe that you’ll end up together, because you will, stick with the NC plan and you’ll see how that works
show him how you are a changed woman now, don’t talk to him about your relationship and how much you miss and want him, stay casual and positive, and if you can show him that you are accepting the idea of the break up, he’ll wonder and he’ll cut the time short because he’ll be afraid that he might loose you which never happened before, you apologizes once you don’t need to do it again.
apologized*
Ok i will do that. Do you think he’ll contact me before the week is over?
i think he’ll do, and if he did make it short and simple, nothing about your personal life, the NC plan is about not responding even if your partner contacts you, but if it was about your child then yes you can respond
Ok. I will. He starts school tomorrow something he’s been wanting to do for a long time. I don’t think i should text him to say have a good day or anything. I hope i don’t feel guilty. What do you think ?