He is still being really petty now he blocked me from seeing his my day again becoz I didn’t view it. Starting now I won’t view any of his social media and keep track with his posts.
I always leave mine open for viewing. It doesn’t matter to me if she views it or not at this point. I just know that eventually she’s going to message me or something so i just got to wait and find out. Eventually you should try doing the social media thing too, just to see if he views it or not, but do not be discouraged if he doesn’t. Remember as big as social media is, it isn’t something that you can truly base anything on up until our ex’s tell us themselves that they want us back. If anything they are just afraid to face us and own up to what they’ve done.
Hey how are you no update but I want you to know that I am here if you ever feel low coach.
Hey, nothing from me either. Just had a small mental breakdown yesterday. Trying to decide if i should break NC and just reach out or not. I’m starting to feel like I’ve got nothing to lose if i do reach out to her but there’s still that part of me that fears losing her for good if i do so. The problem is I’ve already lost her anyways so can it really get any worse than it is now? The worst that’ll happen is no response from her. The only thing stopping me is if I’m confident enough in myself to message her and take that kind of chance of either pushing her back or drawing her closer to me slowly. I do fear that because my actual dating relationship with her is not as long therefore making my window to get her back smaller, but not sure if that is just an excuse I’m using to try to contact her. I’ve been worried if my chances are starting to diminish if I’m going to be totally honest. I know i should keep NC but idk if it’s time for me to contact her or not tbh. I feel like i could take whatever comes my way but at the same time not sure if i could handle it.
Coach I think you know the answer deep down you should continue NC. If you’re gonna contact her are you really sure that you’re gonna be fine if things don’t went your way? If yes then do contact her. I know 5 months maybe a short time but it’s enough to really love a person and envision your future with them as a girl speaking. Men may fall faster but women fall deeper.
I know that it may feel gut wrenching and everything is harder even day to day activities. We need to rebuild ourselves I think that we should really try to forget our ex for a little while in order to do so. Be selfsih and love ourselves more do everything we used to enjoy before them even the bad vices (for them) and just live our lives.
You’re right, i do know the answer deep down lol thanks for the save tbh. I been struggling with the thought of it all night, no sleep just the thought of whether or not if i should do it. The problem is I’m scared if i don’t act that she will move on, but if that was the case then she probably would have already. Getting s girls view on my situation helps me because i tend to act on impulse which is very destructive, I’m hoping she thinks the same way you do and that is the case but i know I’m not ready to accept it if things don’t go my way. It’s just lately she’s been playing games that i used to play online with her a lot lately and when I’m online I’ll see her also online and it like makes me wonder i guess. That’s what kind of triggered me wanting to message her (the game is fortnite btw, i know lame but if you play too then my sn is nlang504 haha discord would be nlang5o4). I know i fell fast but i feel like i also fell too deep as well and now I’m stuck, i guess i was hoping if i texted her I’d get some kind of answers on where i stand with her at the moment. I’ve been wondering if she thinks of me, misses me, still have any feelings for me, etc and it’s been killing me tbh.
The problem is I’ve been with her every week for the last 6 years including the time we weren’t dating and so it’s hard for me to forget her. Before i never would’ve dreamed that i would get the chance to be with her (she feels the same way as well, from what she told me last) and then i had her and i feel like i lost her due to things that were out of my control. I can only control myself and my actions so I’m not sure what is the wisest move to make. I tried to indulge in some bad vices (just gambling) but it doesn’t help me much anymore especially since I’m saving up for a new car (which I’m getting by next week), I’m hoping by making that move she sees that I am improving in life and she will want to be back with me again. I’ve had a lot of time to figure out what i do love about myself and when i think about how i felt before i dated her (which was content with living life without a significant other), i realized that was the highest point of self-love I’ve ever had, it just got ruined due to her just casting me aside and it sucks. I’m slowly getting back to that point but i can’t fully knowing that i want her back.
Coach no matter how much prying we do I am afraid they can’t give us or said directly the reason why they broke up with us. They are too scared that they can’t defend it that’s why they added the factor that they don’t have feelings for us anymore even going as far to tell that they don’t love us anymore. So that we can’t hold any logical argument and just give up. ?
We shouldn’t be prying, they will tell us once they’re ready, if they tell us at all. Sadly you can’t logic with feelings because you can’t really reason with how someone feels. Like us for example, we know that eventually we may have to move on, but our feelings are what’s keeping us holding onto hope to them. The fact that they say they don’t love us is just for them to hurt us so we can back off, but who knows if that’s really the case or not. We can only hope that it’s not and improve ourselves.
Feelings are so complex let me tell you my cousin’s story.
Basically they are together for 4 years but my cousin cheated saying she fell for another and does not feel the same anymore they we’re in a limbo for almost two months. The ex who is a close friend of mine has always confided to me about everything but alas even his kindheartedness has limits so he accepted the breakup sleep with another person and eventually courted another girl (diff girl). Meanwhile my cousin believes that she made the right decision but when she heard news of her ex courting someone else she beg for my help to reach out to his ex and is ready to leave her new boy toy claiming she still very much in love with her ex.
Her ex a close friend of mine treated her well in their relationship and I am assuming you and I did too if there is hope for situations like major offense like cheating that means we can also hope.
Did they get back together though? The thing is, for a person that did the cheating they will always realize their mistake and will usually come back to the person who they hurt. It’s a totally different situation than ours, but i see what you mean.
Not yet but they are on good terms broke up with their rebounds and is reconnecting again.
Well that’s good. I know that’s a hard thing to recover from too. That story makes me feel a little hopeful. Were they also in NC?
So to update, i see her in the break room at work. She’s still avoiding me, eye contact and everything…she’s still sitting there by herself and idk if I’m still having any effect on her. I want to go up and say hi but i know i shouldn’t do that. Idk if she’s expecting me to reach out or not but it’s just not fair because why does effort have to be shown just by me?
Yes they were in NC.
Yes, I really feel you it seems like they don’t want to put in effort in reaching out. Before our break when we are in LC he didn’t even tried to contact me once I was always the one who asks how he is. Even our talk I was the one who asked him if he wants to meet up. Do you remember your courtship period? Mine looks so similar now that we have broken up. I was the first one to approach him and I was the first one to show interest in him but clearly he wasn’t interested in me so I didn’t contact him over summer then started getting close with other guy then school came and he saw me interacting with this guy but I was really cordial to him then that’s when he made his move.
I don’t know when he’ll contact me about his things but I know it will be soon. Should I just mail it to him or ask him to meet up with me?
Glad it worked out for them in the end then.
It’s the same for me, I’m always the first to text and last to text usually and it’s unfair that i have to put in all the effort. It seems like she doesn’t want to or something or is afraid to but I’m not entirely sure. I’m getting the feeling that she doesn’t really care about the relationship anymore tbh. I do remember the courtship because i was invited to her cousins wedding (me and him are friends) and i went with her and her family and stayed with them. She was all over me at the after party and after and told me she’s liked me for 5 years but wasn’t sure if i felt the same way. She snuck into my room and we talked about it and that’s how it started, because she was the one that told me. She was the one that initiated it and the relationship but was the only one that had a say to end it. We were just really good friends before and now it’s like nothing now. No contact, no hellos or anything it’s like I’m invisible to her.
I would wait for him to contact you about his things, like i said if he intends to come back then that’s his reason for reaching out to you, but if you do contact him then text is much easier. Everyone has a phone now so getting an email about meeting up to me is strange.
Maybe she’s really slow to act I mean she waited for years to tell you she liked you. Just condition yourself and show your best version when the time comes when she approaches you again. I am really a head first dive person very impulsive just like you but we are all different.
I know I am not gonna contact him at all about his things but there is this option that I can just mail it to him and not meet him in person. I am contemplating whether to meet him at all.
Maybe so but when she told me she was slightly drunk but that gave the the courage to do so. Idk when or if that time will ever come. It’s just the way she’s been acting or so when i see her around tells me otherwise and it makes me depressed. I’m hoping you’re right though.
Just hold onto them for now or put them to the side so you don’t think about it. When he’s ready to contact you for his things back then have it ready but I’m sure he will use it as an excuse to see you and figure out what you’ve been doing or something.
I don’t know why but I don’t want to see him soon. I just want to mail his things.
Hope as the year ends I can start my plans going to gym and being more productive. I’ll look for a job again to take my mind off things.
Hiya I am thinking we should give each other a to do list to preoccupy ourselves and not sink further to depression.
I understand the feeling. When i don’t see her i feel better but when i do see her i feel pressure and i feel very anxious. I just want her to at least talk to me but it’s all up to her. You could always have his friends pick up his stuff for him.
You should start looking for the job. Make yourself better by starting there. Gym is a good way to work on yourself as well.
We could but what exactly are your hobbies like? It’s not a bad idea but then again we don’t know much about each other except what we are both going through, but i guess a list i can give you would be:
- find a job
2)go to the gym - pick up a new hobby or reconnect with an old hobby that you enjoyed before dating your ex
- try to go out at least twice a week with friends that you know you will be happy around.
All of these sound doable for now.