I wish I thought I was doing good. All her contact had me hopeful, but I think I made a mistake of responding this morning and churned up bad feelings. I tried my best to be neutral. All I did was apologize for behavior during the break up (the facebook post) which I was going to do later anyways.
We ALL make these mistakes. It’s ok. I have found some peace in reading Eckhart Tolle’s “the Power of Now.” We need to make ourselves strong before we can be strong for a relationship. Just breathe, and start over. I truly feel like it’s not over until both people give up. Be positive for yourself and that you’ll find happiness and joy in your life. Be thankful for what you have and be hopeful for a bright future. Don’t give up if you don’t want to give up.
Another text this morning when I woke up, actually strange enough I woke up seconds before the text came at 4AM, very strange, but I’ll not read into it.
“For the record I didn’t, I tried reaching out to you a few times and kept saying ‘having a good life’ so I did, moved on and now I am happy”
I am guessing she meant to say “I didn’t want this”…
Good sign, bad sign?
im confused… did you tell her “have a good life”?
Honestly, it sounds like she’s trying to get closure for herself and not feel bad about any of her choices. I don’t like the signs.
I can imagine saying something like “you deserve to be happy no matter what. and whether its with me or someone else… i just want you to be happy”
Get everyone else’s advice to see if you should even consider saying this. I think it shows maturity and letting her know that you’re accepting the fact that you may never get back together.
Or maybe ignoring it and staying NC is better. What do you think?
Yes, if you read my original post, I broke up with her because we were fighting. That week she sent me many texts which I dismissed as not productive. Texts putting herself down, wishing me a good life, and hoping I find a better girlfriend. This sort of behavior was part of what we fought about, and when she sent me those texts after I broke up with her I reacted by telling her to “have a good life”. In reality I just wanted the fighting to stop and looking back I handled it very poorly. I chose a break over communicating.
I am open to any advice anyone has. I have not responded and was going to not respond. I took her message as saying she didn’t want her new bf or this situation to happen (who she met after 1 week apart from me), but it happened and she is happy. I do not know if she is really happy or just saying that for my benefit.
I think you should remain no contact. I think shes looking to get a reaction from you as well. maybe even trying to get closure and or seeing if you still have feelings for her. stay strong and keep doing what your doing. 
I also told him “have a good life” and that I would never speak to him again. I regret that. I feel like you should still maintain nc because her feelings/emotions are unfolding but they still don’t seem clear…do you think it’s been long enough for you?
Long enough in the sense that I am “over her”? No, I still hope she suddenly reverses course and asks to meet with me, but that is just a dream. It is day 16 of NC for me.
I will continue NC and wait for the next text I guess.
Yes, you HAVE to get to a point where you feel that you’ll be fine even if she’s not in your life. Focus more on yourself, try to be happier. It’s hard but try and continue nc. Let her wonder about you, let her think that you’ve moved on…people come back when they think they lost something previous to them. They don’t want something they already have because it’s too easy…don’t make it easy for her. Do something fun today for yourself. We are right there with you.
Thanks everyone. It means a lot. The other thing running through my mind every day, especially when I get home and grab the mail, is the promise ring I bought her. It was a very expensive Tiffany ring I gave her on her birthday. During the breakup I asked for it back, I don’t know why, I was angry I guess. She said she would mail it to me. Each day I get home and tell myself this will be the day. but so far nothing.
(and it would be ironic if today was the day by the way…)
Somewhere on the drive home from work I became very angry with my ex. Just thinking that I one week apart was enough for her to move on. I don’t care of it could only be a rebound I mean I spend so much time and money an effort our relationship I gave her a promise ring and she disregarded that after 1 week she didn’t try calling me once see me once and now she’s with somebody else and wants nothing to do with me aside from a text here and there that just confuse me. at this point I’m not even sure I want her back and I think I have to lower my expectations and realize I’ll never have her back. thanks for reading just had to vent
I know how you feel. My asshole ex just joined match.com and is already moving on within 6 days of breaking up with me. He’s not worthy of my love and I’m starting to hate him. I am so angry and frustrated and hurt, and he doesn’t give a shit about me.
I’m sorry he’s doing that to you. Its amazing how quickly people change. I kept asking her " who are you?" During the breakup talk. It felt surreal.
Hopefully its just a reaction and all the experts are right- that our ex’s are not over us and do miss us.
Wish there was a success stories thread for motivation
Same here, I didn’t know who he was either.
She added me as a friend on Snapchat last night. No idea why, I don’t use that app, and only have it because of her. So confused.
maybe its a good sign but she may be trying to keep tabs on you as well, lol
so do I accept her ‘friend’ request? Right now I cannot see any of her snaps or her story, and she cannot see mine. Does that break NC?
I say not, let her wonder why. Who knows what’s going through her mind.
Also, just wanted to say that I appreciated your input and thoughts over the past few days. Thanks for sharing.
I think it does break no contact. like travelbug said let her wonder. and if anything maybe later on you could use that to your advantage.
thanks everyone. The little voice in my head was telling me to accept to see what was on the other side of the curtain. Your words have convinced me not to.